i need to vent !!!!!!

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive Over 35' started by readytogiveup, Jun 2, 2011.

  1. readytogiveup

    readytogiveup Well-Known Member

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    god i dont mean to rain on anyones parade but is it only me who gets really mad when you read BFP post entitled that was fast then they are bragging it was first month trying ???. we have been trying for two years no joy although i dont consider that long term as i have seen threads on here of ladies going for ten years plus. all i can say is if it did only take a month then woop dee doo please dont rub it in faces of people going all out for BFP.. sorry if some find post offensive dont mean to be just at end of my rope
     
  2. Jasiellover

    Jasiellover Well-Known Member

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    I look at it like this.. people who struggle more usually appreciate the little things. This is not always the case but a lot of the times it is. Life isn't easy but at least we'll know what we have when we get it :)
     
  3. Macwooly

    Macwooly Guest

    :hugs: for you :hugs:

    I'm sure no one means to rub their happiness in anyone's face but it is so hard when you have been trying for a while to hear of those who fall pregnant at the drop of a hat :hugs:

    I really hope your BFP comes along soon for you :dust:
     
  4. Bubba3

    Bubba3 Well-Known Member

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    Hi there , I agree that it may not be intended but I so feel it's a touch insensitive :wacko:. Please never give up . I once attended a c section ( for work ) of a couple who had ttc for ten years , then out of the blue bfp long after they had given up and made they're peace with it. They were the nicest people , and not a single complaint unlike a lot. As macwooley says , they appreciated everything because they were simply happy to be there. Ive never forgotten them or the atmosphere in the room the moment we all heard that baby cry out. Electric and beautiful. Not a dry eye in theatre. Keep your chin up:flower:
     
  5. Macwooly

    Macwooly Guest

    Bubba3 - thank you for your story. Not sure about anyone else but hearing about people getting their BFP who have been trying for so long or those stories from ladies who have had loses and never given up hope fills me with real joy and hope for myself.

    :hugs: to all needing one today :hugs:
     
  6. Nat 1976

    Nat 1976 Well-Known Member

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    Looks like I am not the only feeling like this today especially as my best friend emailed me this morning to say “guess what I just tested positive” first month trying and second child. I love her to bits but felt she was a little insensitive given that we have been trying for years on and off with one MC in there. I have found it really hard to not burst into tears today after finding this out, not because I am unhappy for her, just because I am unhappy for me and my hubby. It feels like everything we have achieved we have had to work hard and fight for..... and a baby is going to be just another hill up struggle for us, but iam sure one day we will all get there!!! lots of :hugs: to all feeling down today x
     
  7. Natsby

    Natsby Luca born 9-11-2012

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    I remember when we started trying and i got my bfp in the first month I was so frightened of telling friends who were having problems themselves, I felt guilty it was so easy for us. But then two mc later and two years down the line I know now it was never going to be an easy path for me either.
    I don´t think they are trying to rub anyones nose in it, when people get pregnant first cycle it doesn´t occur to you that everyone won´t be thrilled at your news, remember they haven´t been on here long enough to read all our stories they are just at the stage of wanting to shout from the roof tops, and so they should, I bet we will when our time comes. I am sorry you are feeling rubbish, and sending you big hugs and I hope you can shout about your own BFP soon.
     
  8. littletike

    littletike Well-Known Member

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    Very wise words Natsby and very perceptive! You are a smart lady! Sorry that you are feeling this way readytogiveup but it's OK to vent every now and again and say how you are feeling - better out than in!! xxx
     
  9. readyformore

    readyformore Well-Known Member

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    Well, I've been on both sides of the spectrum.
    My first child was 19 months ttc with 4 IUIs.
    My second child was from 1 single event without bcp.

    I was. . . um. . . shocked, surprised, terrified, and very VERY confused. I didn't feel ready for another baby. I was still breastfeeding. I honestly thought that after my infertility experience, I couldn't get pregnant on my own.

    Now, I'm ttc again, my 11th cycle just failed.
    Oddly, I too feel jealous of women that only ttc for 1 cycle, even though that was me at one point. How can you be jealous of your own past experience? Yep, I'm confused, lol.

    I can tell you from personal experience that you don't feel differently about your children just because one took longer to get.
    Even though I was surprised and not planning the pregnancy, I sobbed when he was born and loved him instantly. In fact, I rarely put him down. I wore him in a sling. I breastfeed him until he was 22 months. I cried when he started kindergarten.

    With all of that said. . . you've been trying for 2 years and you are entitled to feel upset. It's not fair. Even though I have 3 kids (which I realize is probably upsetting you), I think it's not fair when child molesters, drug addicts, and those that are irresponsible have children. I went to Walmart yesterday and it was like the teen mom olympics! Honestly, every 15 year old in the store had a baby on her hip.

    Anyway, that's my rant.
    I hope you get your bfp soon. You first, then me!
     
  10. cranberry987

    cranberry987 Mum after ttc 16 cycles

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    I truly think that ppl who are LTTTC enjoy their pregnancy more. Theyre less likely to go omg I hate being pregnant im so sick and gross, because even if they feel sick and gross they know it was a hard won fight. Maybe youll feel the same about your kids, I dunno rly, but thats one difference Ive definately noticed.

    Also I agree, ppl dont rly understand what ltttc is like until theyve been there/been close to it. they just see it as a baby announcement which is super exciting. If i was you tho Id stay away from the BFP announcements on here, never gonna be anything constructive come from reading there (until you get your own that is :) )
     
  11. velo

    velo Well-Known Member

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    This is why I don't generally read any of the other forums besides this one. Particularly in the regular TTC there are a lot of younger women that fall pregnant at the drop of a hat. Or ones whining that they are on month 3 and why is it taking so long?

    I know that sometimes people mean well and it comes across a different way. Such as they'll post their BFP to say look women 35+ can still get pregnant. I do like these stories when they have been trying for a while, but when its first try, I don't see it as an encouragement. I don't mind if they post in the BFP sticky but posting a DON'T GIVE UP type of heading when they have JUST started trying is rather condescending.
     

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