I pray this doesn't sound insensitive.

[hypnorm]

unless you have been through it i dont think any one can begin to imagine what the families concerned have been through.
Unfortunately life is a risk, there is a risk in every single thing we do in life, and to avoid this would be nieve (sp) i wish it would never happen to any mum and i have been very lucky in not having a miscarriage or loosing a baby, but every time i look at my kids it scares me to death to think that one day i might loose one of them.

Being pregnant and having a baby has a percentage of risk involved, and i dont know how you can ease the worrying for the mums who are expecting, the forum has a section for the stillbirths, miscarriages etc. So if people find it upsetting then stay out of that section. As for the avatars .. personally i find no problem in them... just seems that some people are over sensitive.

 

[lovedupgirl]

Personally I think it is completely normal for mummies of angel babies to share their stories and photos with us, I dont think anyone should have to apologize for having a picture of their beautiful angel on there sig!

 

[Babybug]

When I first came on here I used to find pictures and avatars upsetting, guess it makes you think about what can happen. Thats not to say people should not post them. I now just never look at other peoples tickers, pictures or anything below the post, whatever it is I just scroll past without looking or reading.

I agree that there is alot of stuff on here that is upsetting and worrying for anyone pregant and I accept that, if I come across anything upsetting I simply stop reading and remember how lucky I am that I do not have to deal with all of the things that some people do, there are people on here that are stronger than I will ever be and they have the right to share their stories, same as others have the right not to read them.

 

[Snowball]

This is exactly why I don't have a picture of Beau in my signature and I hate it.

All I have of him is a couple of pictures the hospital took and there's nothing more I'd love than for everyone to see him as beautiful as I do. I don't put him in my avatar/sig on here, not because I'm worried about worrying others (sorry if that sounds harsh) but I'd hate for someone to look at him and feel he looks 'inappropriate' to share.

I also don't think it's right to say if you lost your child you wouldn't want to share their pictures. You never know what you'd do unless it happened to you.

 

[FlowerFairy]

I honestly can't believe this conversation is happening again!
Those Angel mummy's are quite rightly proud of their beautiful babies. None of us can ever know just how it feels to lose a child. I lost a sister aged 19 last year, and although slightly different, if I wanted to have a picture of her here I would.
There are so many things to worry about during pregnancy, and these ladies have stories that may help you look out for signs, or check for things you may have missed during your pregnancy.

I for one am proud and privileged to be able to see the pictures of their babies, because even if your child is an angel.. she or he is still YOUR Child.
God Bless all the angel babies, their mummys and daddys and brothers and sisters.

 

[genkigemini]

So, I do not really know how to say this without sounding like the most wrenched person in the world but I think both points of views need to be discussed.

One of my bestest and most long term BnB friends is Jacky24 who has lost a son and I feel for her every day so it is not that I do not care or have feelings but still...

In a different perspective, if my husband died (GOD FORBID) and I posted pictures of him here after he had passed, I do not think people would be as approving even though, to me, he is my whole world.

Those images are upsetting in that they are rather graphic and EVERYONES heart goes out to those babies and families but it is still upsetting. To be brutally honest, it does not even look like the baby is sleeping. It is very obvious what you are looking at and it breaks my heart.

I think it is so unfair to act like it is not upsetting or to talk badly about those who admit how they feel.

 

[Pyrrhic]

Only the other day the Angel Mums were discussing how the SANDs forum had been shut down, and they felt they had no place to go as some people might think them 'weird' for some things they wanted to post.

I said they should post, as they have evry right to say how they feel and talk about their babies. They are Mummies just as much as I or anyone else is on here. Just because their babies are in heaven doesn't make them any less so. Then posts like this come up.

Really disgusted at the thought that some Mums might have to censor themselves due to some people not liking it. Use image blocker on your browser, or put them on your ignore list on BnB but don't make them feel uncomfortable being here. They have every right to use this forum.

I myself am honoured to see such special pictures of these beautiful babies. These Mums are sharing with us the most precious memory they have left of their baby.

 

[Wombat]

I really have mixed feelings about this subject... Yes, it upsets me, but in the same time everybody should be allowed to grieve in their own way...


But if I may suggest, that if it is such a sensitive subject why not to make a poll and vote. Just "yes" or "no" option... And it would help moderators to decide.

 

[alice&bump]

why should parents have to hide pictures of their children cos they were too perfect for this world?

yes, it may upset some people, but it's an upsetting situation to be in full stop. why can people not look at the pictures and say something along the lines of "omg its so sad that these babies have been taken from us in such a cruel way, but how lovely of their mummies and daddies for sharing their beautiful babies with us?"

 

[hypnorm]

To be brutally honest, it does not even look like the baby is sleeping. It is very obvious what you are looking at

I haven't lost a child and i find that bit of your post REALLY insensitive! Have a little bit of respect.

I think a poll idea is horrible, every parent has the right to post a picture of their child, whether passed or alive.
i really cannot see the problem.

 

[CamoQueen]

Angel mommies have absolutely every right to have pictures of their beautiful babies in their avis/signatures; they are proud like every other mommy, and rightly so.

I understand that the angel pics might make some people uncomfortable... I mean, I get it, I really do. I just think that that discomfort is something best kept private, IYKWIM? Because whether you intend to or not, you are going to hurt people's feelings, no matter how delicately you word yourself. Angel mommies have already been through so much, they don't need to defend themselves over pictures of their children.

 

[genkigemini]

Why is it that when ever someone thinks different than the majority here, they are automatically insensitive?!

I am sorry I disagree. God forbid those who do disagree speak their mind too. So what... only people that have had a loss are allowed an opinion?! How am I the only one who sees that as unfair?

 

[Early_Bump]

Omg im in shock that this is has even been mentioned!!

 

[Early_Bump]

Why is it that when ever someone thinks different than the majority here, they are automatically insensitive?!

I am sorry I disagree. God forbid those who do disagree speak their mind too. So what... only people that have had a loss are allowed an opinion?! How am I the only one who sees that as unfair?

i TOTALLY AGREE THAT EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO AN OPINION BUT I DO THINK THAT ON A FORUM LIKE THIS YOU HAVE TO TAKE OTHER PEOPLE FEELINGS INTO CONSIDERATION I HAVE PCI OF MY DAUGHTER IN MY SIGNATURE I ALSO HAVE OTEHR PICTURES BUT IM CAREFUL OF WHAT I USE IN RESPECT OF OFFENDING AND UPSETTING OTHER MUMMIS WHO HAVNT LOST A BABY...

opps caps on cant b bothered to re-write, but i dont think really its something that should be discussed on the boards if someone feels offened rather than start a thread they should complain to the site that way it doesnt cause upset...

X

 

[littlekitten8]

Oh dear. I'm actually a little upset that this thread is even here. I can understand that people get upset by pictures of angel babies but I personally find it an honour that these angel mummies feel that they can share their pictures with us. I have 3 angel babies but all of mine were lost at far too early a stage for me to have any pictures, but if I did I would love to feel that I wouldn't be offending people by having them up.

For diddydons and all the other angel mummies who have posted in here - I hope that people havn't made you feel like you shouldn't have your beautiful angels in your signatures or avatars. Thankyou for sharing lovelies.

 

[redpoppy]

I realise this is a touchy subject but I think to hide from reality and to censor things because it may upset someone isn't great. I understand being sensitive to everyone's feelings but between the people who have experienced loss and those that fear it, I'm going to have to side towards those who have experienced it as I do feel its a greater burden and a more difficult thing to go through.

I feel for everyone in this argument and I think although it may seem very sad to hear of someone else's loss, we are adults and we need to be aware that it happens and not live in ignorance or make people who have experienced loss feel "outside" of society.

I would always think it very sad if whoever put any photo (and that does include any member of the family or partner or friend) of anyone who they had lost through whatever circumstance and I would feel sympathy for them but I would always consider it a beautiful yet tragic thing in a way. The love being the beautiful part.

Most people have lost someone very dear to them and feeing bad to talk about it or mention it or pay tribute or whatever seems a really unnatural process and not something I think we should encourage as a society.

to all.

 

[bitepeach]

I think its a very sensitive issue , I personally feel privileged to see pictures of angels , I almost feel guilty for having my ticker but I should be allowed to have it as other mummies should be allowed their avatars to express themselves and share their beautiful babies . However I see can also see the other side and understand how it may be upsetting , but this is a great forum where everyone express themselves and nobody should feel guilty at all for it. The only advice I can give anyone , is scroll past an avatar or ticker if you feel it will upset you , and remember everyone has a right to share their story .

 

[sobersadie]

I think everyone is being a little dramatic on what i know is a very emotive subject. ultimately everyone has the right to an opinion and to express it. In the same token everyone also has the right to post pictures of their babies wether they are in heaven or here on earth. I think the original post was just trying to say that it can be quite hard to see some of the pictures (i must admit this is the first place i have ever seen a picutre of an 'angel') and i was quite shocked when i first saw them, however after reading the posts and hearing peoples stories i can fully understand why they want to share these pictures of their children. I have been very lucky never to have lost a child or had a miscarriage so i think it wud be unfair if i stated 'what i would do' if it happened as i don't believe i would know until i was put in that position. So, as long as we all understand each other's point of view on the matter i don't believe anyone is actually 'wrong' on what they say - it is just their opinion on the matter.

 

[alice&bump]

i dont think its about not allowing people to have an opinion, its more about people having a little respect.

someone said earlier, that you wouldnt put pictures of your husband or whoever if they died on, but you have pictures of them alive, most the angel mummies, all they have is pictures of their babies as angels. all they want to do is show the world their beautiful babies.

 

[Vickie]

So, I do not really know how to say this without sounding like the most wrenched person in the world but I think both points of views need to be discussed.

One of my bestest and most long term BnB friends is Jacky24 who has lost a son and I feel for her every day so it is not that I do not care or have feelings but still...

In a different perspective, if my husband died (GOD FORBID) and I posted pictures of him here after he had passed, I do not think people would be as approving even though, to me, he is my whole world.

Those images are upsetting in that they are rather graphic and EVERYONES heart goes out to those babies and families but it is still upsetting. To be brutally honest, it does not even look like the baby is sleeping. It is very obvious what you are looking at and it breaks my heart.

I think it is so unfair to act like it is not upsetting or to talk badly about those who admit how they feel.

but you have living pictures of your husband.....these women don't so I personally don't think that's a fair comparison to draw