I promised myself I wouldn't go crazy this time... I lied!

[Holly ttc]

Hi everyone!

I did my third fet on Monday and yes I know it's too early to actually feel anything but, my brain is still trying to tell me otherwise. I've been testing every day just so I can have an obvious progression when it does happen and right now I honestly don't expect to see anything. Anyone want to play devil's advocate for me though and tell me I'm maybe not going completely crazy? I don't even know if this is a "symptom" or bad timing on my body's part... I feel like I've been lifting weights and doing squats. It's not in the entire muscle areas that should be triggered if I were doing that though. Just the back of my arms and bottom of my.... well... bottom and top of my thighs. I feel like I felt the same thing when I got my positive last time but that ended in a mc so I've tried to forget as much about it as I could. Help?

 

[Vonn]

You may be going crazy, but at least you are in good company! It is almost impossible to NOT overthink every twitch, obsess about line-or-no-line, and feel like this is the only thing in your life. Many of us end up like this, so it's fairly normal, even though it's not great for our emotional health. Just try to stay busy, binge watch tv to keep your mind off it, let out your crazy on BnB, and take care of yourself. It lasts less than 2 weeks, so you WILL make it! I hope your second line shows up soon!

 

[Holly ttc]

I think I'm more crazy this time because it's really our last shot for a very long while. All meds going forward are oop and just too much right now. I decided the soreness was more than likely just from having to lay there for an hour afterwards and still try to fill out papers while not raising my shoulders. That puts you into weird positions. Now I've got some light pink spotting and cramping but that could definitely due to all the meds. Here's to hoping Wednesday cones quickly and they call me back at a decent time!

 

[BronteForever]

Holly - best wishes. I hope these are all news. I agree with Vonn, it's hard not to over-analyze every symptom. You can try, but it's super hard not too.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

 

[Holly ttc]

Thanks, Bronte. I've been following your journey and really hope they get things straight for you. If you ever do decide to travel out of state for another opinion I know az is really far away but I love my office.

 

[BronteForever]

When is your beta Holly?

 

[Holly ttc]

It was this past Wednesday. Everything was apparently in my head (which I assumed since the billion tests I used all said negative). Now we're just waiting to see if we can get financing to start all over again.

 

[BronteForever]

Oh. I'm so sorry Holly. That has to be very hard. Hugs. I hope you can get more financing for another try. I know it's not easy though and a cycle is so much money for each attempt.