I pushed her :(

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by CaptainMummy, Oct 13, 2013.

  1. CaptainMummy

    CaptainMummy Well-Known Member

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    Today, me and the girls were in the living room, Ella was on her playmat. I nipped into the kitchen and she started crying. It wasnt her normal cry so I ran in and Paige was pulling her along the carpet by her legs on her tummy. I dont know what I was thinking, but I pushed Paige away from the baby. Not a full force push or anything, and it definitely didnt hurt... but I still pushed her. She was very upset and burst into tears. She was upset for a while and was hugging me and saidsorry. (Nobody asked her to apologise)

    It scares me to think that I automatically did this... I didnt want to do it, I just did. Without any thought! Is that even normal?

    Tonight, after I read her book in bed, I told her I was sorry for pushing her and she seemed to accept it.. but I cant believe I did it. What if it happens again? Blah!

    Also, she has never done anything to the baby before. She is very protective and she was trying to move her (sometimes I pull her by the legs to slide her down her mat) so she wasnt being 'naughty' or anything. I guess I will have to keep an extra eye on her from now on!
     
  2. Kte

    Kte Mummy to Chloe & Sophie

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    You were mearly reacting quickly to stop her from hurting your youngest. I've had to react quickly without too much thought to my eldest, usually push her hand away or something because even if you say stop, they sometimes don't. Only a few times since Sophie was born. I've had to apologise and say sorry too but also explain that I only did it to stop what was happening as it was dangerous. It's not out of meanness but it does feel awful. Like you say, now it's a case of having four eyes in the back of your head instead of two, start some new rules and don't be too harsh on yourself for this incident. I think it's a shock when you do it to your first as they have been the one and only you have protected for so long. :hugs: :hugs:
     
  3. chipsticks

    chipsticks Well-Known Member

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    Aw I'm sure she knows you are sorry, it's scary how quickly we can react to things, lo went to bite me last week and I almost slapped her across the head as she did...(she was gonna bite my leg while we both were standing up), I only just managed to stop myself...I know that's not gonna make you feel any better but I think we all have those moments..
     
  4. Rachel_C

    Rachel_C Well-Known Member

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    I think it's normal. I had a couple of times when my oldest was 2 and the youngest was a young baby and my oldest would go to hurt the youngest and I would get incredibly angry at her, I'd never felt so angry at her before so it shocked me. The way I see it is that if an adult went to hurt your baby you'd unleash hell on them to protect your LO. As long as the reaction is proportionate to the size of your other child, I don't think it's anything to worry about e.g. pushing them off the baby, flapping a hand away etc. It's a natural reaction to protect the smallest member of the family. Obviously you still want to protect your older LO... which is why you didn't hurt her.
     
  5. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

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    Ive had to push the girls before, i dont like doing it but when they are being too heavy handed with the baby and havnt listened to me asking them to stop quickly then id rather push them off then have them hurt him.

    Its not a shove just a push.
     
  6. Duejan2012

    Duejan2012 mommy of dd, ds, & preggo

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    aww i know how you feel. I was trying to get dressed one day and i had the baby laying on the bed. Then my 20 month old got up on the bed and started jumping. (we have been having alot of issue with him jumping on the bed and couch latly) Well whenever i try to stop him or try to grab him to take him off the bed he runs to the opposite side i go and keeps running away. Well he did this and instead of me picking up the baby (witch i should have done but wasnt thinking correctly) I chased after him. And after he jumped on her legs and she started crying (more from being scared i think) i just grabed his arm and sat him on the floor. It doesnt sound bad but i sat him down harder then just sitting him down. (and no he wasnt hurt or anything just in shock that i had done that to him) BUt i felt awful and he started crying and came to me putting his hands up for me to pick him up. I held him and explained why i did that but OMG i felt awful! It happens sometimes and it will probably happen again. Try not to beat yourself up about it xx
     
  7. happythought

    happythought Mom of 2 amazing boys

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    I've done something similar and felt awful about it. My younger son was crawling up to my older son who was playing with a toy truck. He reached to get it and my older son got upset and grabbed it and began hitting him on the head with it. I ran over and pushed him off and he landed on his bum and the floor. It wasn't hard but it was an instant reaction. After the fact I picked him up and he was screaming and crying.l, as was my other son from being hit over the head. Ugh
     
  8. _Vicky_

    _Vicky_ Mum to twins

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    Awww big hugs like the others have said you frequently find yourself protecting one child from the other I have many times and mine are the same age!

    Xxx
     
  9. hubblybubbly

    hubblybubbly Well-Known Member

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    I've done something very similar, more than once, it's a complete instinct and happens before my bran engages. Willow hits piper/slaps on head or has gone to bite and I've pushed her away and she's fallen on her bum. It's only hard enough to ge her away from the baby but I still immediately feel guilty.

    I never leave them alone together where willow can reach piper, but these incidences have happened when I've been holding piper and bend down to tend to will. My only advice is to not leave them where your eldest can reach your youngest (I have a swing that's high up and a Moses basket on a stand)

    Dot beat yourself up, I'm sure there's something innate in us that gives us an instinct to protect the little one.
    X
     
  10. Piper84

    Piper84 Well-Known Member

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    This is absolutely understandable. I don't usually leave my 2 yo and 4 mo alone where DS can get to DD (he sometimes tries to sit on her back) but have to now and then. Once he went to hit her on the leg and my hand snapped out to grab his wrist and I shouted "No!". I was so shocked at the look of shock on his face and felt awful as he put his hands up to be cuddled.

    I'm sure your LO is fine and understands!
     
  11. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    Totally normal - Eddy is very stubborn and determined at times and will require a physical intervention to stop him from doing things to Charlie - not all the time, just sometimes he gets an idea in his head lol. I've had to slap his hand away as he fed Charlie a raisin.....you can always apologise to your older child. Your younger one doesn't understand and could be hurt....priority always goes by instinct to the baby.
     
  12. Louise88

    Louise88 Dd- ciara and ds- James

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    It was an automatic reaction Hun to stop her from hurting your youngest I can imagine this being an automatic reaction if they were about to do something dangerous as well. Don't beat yourself over it Hun you just reacted and tbh I don't think it sounds that bad giving the situation. :hugs:
     
  13. Scally

    Scally Well-Known Member

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    I was changing my little one on the sofa a couple of months ago when her then 3 year old sister fell on top of her- her whole weight on the little ones head- i pushed her off- that was my automatic reaction- i did hurt her arm when i did it, and i was sorry for that, but it was me getting her off as quickly as possible x
     
  14. little_lady

    little_lady Mum of two

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    Yes, like the others have said it's a normal reaction to protect your baby.

    When Isabelle had a friend round to play once, I ran upstairs quickly to put Joel down in his cot to nap, came downstairs after about 30 seconds to find Isabelle pulling her friend along the floor by her hair. I felt so angry with her that I pulled her off and smacked her hand. Awful doesn't describe how I felt afterwards, it was totally my fault for leaving them alone!! And then to make it worse the next time Isabelle was naughty and I told her off, she held out her hand and said "'Mack Izzy?" in a really sad voice. I actually felt my heart break then :-(

    Anyway the point is we have all been there, I experience flashes of anger almost every day (it doesn't help being tired!) but I try very hard to control myself and most people I meet comment on my patience with the kids so I can't be that bad!

    Don't beat yourself up over it :)
     

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