I really don't think I can take much more

[michelleann]

My son is 6 years old and goes to a mainstream school (year2), from a very early age I knew that something wasn't quite right, he started walking quickly at 8 months but then everything went down hill..!! Weaning was difficult due to him not liking anything with texture, toilet training was difficult due to him not wanting to pop outside his nappy!! He still soils now and still have a very limited diet, won't eat meat full stop and will only eat certain brand of spaghetti hoops etc

He is now in year two and still at the educational level of the reception children, he had a speech and language delay of 18 months which the specialist has said is now not a problem.

His behaviour is a challenge for myself, childminder and school with the following issues:
Stealing - childrens toys, our phones, food, the says he doesn't know why he does it or he will say cuz I don't have a phone or I don't have that toy.
Tantrums - all the time, over everything, from getting out of bed in the morning to eating tea, getting dressed, things he wants etc. I never give into him, never have and I try my hardest to talk to him and get him to understand.
Behaviour at school - flooding bathrooms, standing on sinks, kicking children cuz they are in his way. Taking other childrens toys and refusing to do jo's work. The list is endless....
He is being seen by a paediatrician who says it's because he had a speech and language delay!! Lol not what the speech and language lady says!! And cuz he is still very young! (born in aug so youngest in the year!)

I sick of people fibbing me off and I'm sick of struggling everyday. I'm going to go in next week and insist on the getting the local authority to do a statutory assessment as he is already on the special educational needs register!

 

[michelleann]

Iv tried everything iv done everything all the specialists have ask me to do, reward boards work for a week then he gets bored of, naughty step doesn't bother him, he is obsessed with his DS and Wii he hasn't had that in over a month because his behaviour is so bad, I ignore the bad behaviour and reward the good.

We have a struck routine cuz he seems to do better with routines, we reads books before bed which he loves and when he has his good head on he is really loving and can be as good as gold so I know he can do it!

If anyone has any ideas to try please post them
Thank you

 

[kelzyboo]

Hi,
I didn't want to read and run as your description of your son's behaviour at school sounds just like my daughter, flooding the bathrooms a speciality did it in nursery class and reception!! She's now in year one and has a 1-1 teaching assistant with her all the time and she's doing a lot better with that support.
We had a lot of problems, mostly biting but she hits, kicks, pinches and spits at the staff and other children, that 1-1 support in the classroom had been a major help and she hasn't bitten anyone in weeks, she's still agressive but nowhere near as often as she was before the support she gets now.....maybe your son would benefit from that?? if he dosn't already have it.

You don't mention if your son has a specific diagnosis, my daughter has ASD, she's newly diagnosed at age 5. There was no language delay for my daughter but she didn't walk until she was 19months, was very difficult to potty train in fact still wears a nappy at night time and she's very fussy with food. She won't eat a proper meal just pcks at things and is limited as to what she will eat, i encourage her to try new things but it results in a major outburst and she still refuses to try it!! But all that said she can be a very affectionate, loving little girl.

I don't think being the youngest in the year makes a difference, my daughter was also born in august and is the youngest but for academic things she is above the rest of her class, it's just social and communication that she is behind on, to me she still seems like a baby compared to her peers, they all act a lot older and wiser to the world than she does!

Don't let anyone fob you off, you know your own child better than anyone, you have to fight to be listened to i know i did, but it did the trick believe me!!

Can your son's school not refer you to another agency? School's have educational psychologists, can you ask for them to asses your son's needs?

Sorry i've talked a lot, just want you to know your not on your own, theres lots you can ask for and if you keep pestering and don't give up you will get it xx

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Hi, your son sounds like my lad. He is also in yr 2 and an august baby. My son has been diagnosed with ASD.

Do you get any help with him at school? sorry if I miss read your post. Does he have an IEP or anything? x

 

[michelleann]

Hello, yes his school put an IEP together for him for it's not really helping, the work is still to difficult for him.
A paediatrician, speech and language and educational psychologist have recommended one on one for hi
But with out him being statemented he won't get it so I'm going to push for the local authority to assess him

 

[kelzyboo]

My daughter wasn't statemented and she got the full 25 hours per week before she even had the diagnosis!

She is now diagnosed as ASD but is still NOT statemented and is not going to be! They will tell you that you can't but you can where i am ( i live near manchester, uk), ask your sons school to apply for funding from local authority, they will hold a meeting with you there to asses your son's needs. You have to push them as far as you can get away with, then a little further lol I had to beg for it and fight for it but i got there and so will you, educational psych could write a report and send it to LA??

I know its hard to fight when theyre all against you but it's what your son needs, its worth the stress!!
Good luck and take care hun x

 

[Adanma]

Michelleann: didn't want to read and run! I know how frustrating this can be and the ladies here are very good at sharing ideas and lending a shoulder to cry on! My son has asperger's and has a lot of the same issues you outlined. It really does sound like ASD to me and if that is the case there should be no reason for him to not be receiving services at school. I don't know why they have to make things so difficult just to get services needed! US UK I guess it's all the same afterall! I hope you are able to really push them on this. No one wants their child getting a poor start in school. It makes it harder to encourage them to keep trying when they keep having negative experiences and failures. Like the others said, you are doing just what you should be and continue to fight for your child's needs until they do right by you guys! keep us posted!

Adanma

 

[wellyboot]

Removed.

 

[Newt]

I hpe youcan get somewherewith this, i would be badgering and badgering, phone everyone, hv, pead secretary, salt, and badger. sad that we still have to fight for support.