I really need some encouragement

[Mrsgoodhart]

I'm looking for positive stories of mamas who've gone on to have real, live babies after miscarriage.

I had a MMC with D&C in October. We were very blessed in that I got pregnant my first cycle after that, but I'm beyond terrified that this pregnancy will also end without a baby in my arms. I can't seem to relax or be excited no matter how hard I try- I'm constantly waiting for bleeding (although I didn't bleed with mine) or loss of symptoms (which is what clued me in that something was wrong) even though it's so early (4 weeks +2) that I don't even HAVE a lot of symptoms yet- and on the other hand, every little cramp and twinge (normal for this stage!) fills me with dread.

I'm worried that, if I do carry this baby to term, our bonding will be negatively affected- I loved my angel from the second I saw another line, and I'm avoiding any kind of attachment like the plague this time. I really would love to just enjoy this pregnancy and not constantly feel like I'm waiting for the other foot to drop.
So, please.....share with me the stories of your rainbow pregnancies and your beautiful babies that you took home! Very much needed and appreciated, mamas!

 

[Buffyx]

I don't have a story like that, but I'm in the same situation as you pretty much. I had a mc in October & that was my first pregnancy. I was SO excited about it.

This time, we rarely talk about it. I bought a book last time when I found out, and I have left it in the chest this time and refuse to read it. Every single time I go to the toilet, I'm terrified of wiping and seeing blood.
It sucks that we can't enjoy it.

I'm Hoping we both get our take home babies this time

 

[Mrsgoodhart]

Yes, we don't talk about it much either...it's almost like we're both trying to forget. He'll ask if I want coffee on the way to work and I'll remind him I can't. That's about as far as it goes, otherwise there's no planning, no name discussions, no pictures, etc. The miscarriage books are still on my bedside table and the pregnancy ones are stuffed in my closet. Sucks!
On the upside, I was finally able to download the entire 42 page long OB information packet from my doctor's office, so there's that. I tried no less than a dozen times last pregnancy and it just wasn't happening- this surely must be proof this one'll stick! lol

 

[Pink1981]

I had my first mc in oct 2008, I was devastated and it took a couple of months to try again, we fell straight away and although I was nervous I felt totally different and just somehow knew that time it would be ok, my baby boy was born on the 21st oct 2009 but was actually due the 29th which would have been exactly one year after my mc x
Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months xx

 

[Calibali]

Two of my friends had miscarriages with their first pregnancies, and went on to have perfectly healthy, uneventful pregnancies the next time around. They had no problem bonding with their babies.

One miscarriage doesn't mean something is "wrong" with you. Unfortunately, it's just something that happens sometimes. Cramps and twinges are perfectly normal. Having morning sickness or not having it are both totally normal. I know you know this, but sometimes it helps to be reminded.

You might not get a ton of stories on this thread (though I could be wrong) because a whole lot of the people in this forum are pregnant with their first baby. Once that first baby is born, you don't have much time to hang out in forums! I haven't been on here in over 8 months now (had to sign up for a new account, because I couldn't remember my old username or password) because my baby keeps me so busy. Anyway, just happened to see your thread and couldn't help responding!

 

[Buffyx]

Yes, we don't talk about it much either...it's almost like we're both trying to forget. He'll ask if I want coffee on the way to work and I'll remind him I can't. That's about as far as it goes, otherwise there's no planning, no name discussions, no pictures, etc. The miscarriage books are still on my bedside table and the pregnancy ones are stuffed in my closet. Sucks!
On the upside, I was finally able to download the entire 42 page long OB information packet from my doctor's office, so there's that. I tried no less than a dozen times last pregnancy and it just wasn't happening- this surely must be proof this one'll stick! lol

Must be a sign

I haven't even changed my ticker or signature or anything. Too scared that I'll just have to change it again.

I think I will get excited once 12 weeks has passed though. I think you will be the same & have absolutely no problem bonding with your baby.

My cousin had a trouble-free first pregnancy, and then 2 miscarriages, and she's just had a healthy baby boy a couple of weeks ago. It does happen

 

[Kians_Mummy]

I had a miscarriage on the 12th October and found out I was pregnant again on the 9th September. It's been a scary road as had a subchronic haematoma which keeps causing bleeds but our rainbow is growing perfectly in there!

Try and remain positive x

 

[steph.]

I miscarried my first pregnancy at 8 weeks and was beyond devastated. I cried for a month and then found out very unexpectedly that I was pregnant again (we had been preventing so total shock). I had a hard time bonding initially and like you just kept waiting for the mc. After a couple of weeks I went to the doctor who booked me in for an early ultradound and serial hcgs and once I realised tjongs were progressing normally I started relaxing and bonding. I had a doppler (which had arrived in the mail the day I miscarried) and that kept me sane. Whenever I thought something was wrong (for no real reason) would listen to her heartbeat.

Now I've gone through a second mc and am once again pregnant straight after. We are also avoiding any pregnancy talk and any mention of the future has an "if" in front of it. But the odds are in our favour ladies, google miscarriage rates by week/day, it made me feel better.

 

[mummytobe_93]

I had a mc in January 2013 at around 8 weeks. Got pregnant a few cycles after that and had my daughter on the 5th December. I am now pregnant again

Don't worry if it is meant to be it will be. And I am sure it will xx

 

[mummytobe_93]

Also I think it's perfectly normal to ignore the situation for a while with our second we honestly didn't discuss anything until I was 20 weeks. You're only early on you have plenty of time to discuss names etc, and I think sometimes it's easier not to bond so early because you know this time how fragile pregnancy can be which I don't think is a bad thing you just have a more realistic expectation of what can happen. But remember 75% of pregnancies end in healthy babies x

 

[mjemma]

I had a MMC in June and was initially nervous with this pregnancy but as someone else said I just felt this one was right, whereas I knew there was something up with my last one. Now I am 12 weeks I feel more confident but I'm still a bit nervous about telling people. I still think about my angel and want to do something to mark their due date next month but I feel connected to this baby now and know that one just wasn't meant to be.

 

[laura109]

Really sorry you had a mc. I had a chemical in march 2012. My periods went mad afterwards and it broke my heart af arriving every month. I had shorter cycles and people scared me about my luteal phase etc. I felt like id never be pregnant and i watched everyone around me having there 2nd babies.

then in june this year i did a random test and got a positive. I was waiting for af to come. She did not. Then for the next couple of weeks i expected to see blood everytime i went to pee.

The days turned into weeks and on august the 6th our first scan showed this mini baby chilling out in my womb. No abnormalties. Its little arms and legs stretching. It was the longest morning of my life waiting for that scan. On the 24th sept 2014 id started feeling tiny movements and had a little bump. They scanned baby and there organs etc were all perfect. Their little hands were up to their face. At the end we were told she was a little girl.

on the 8th november we went for a 3d scan at 26 weeks. She was holding her knees up and her feet were up to her face. She had her eyes open at one point. Sucking her cord .

Im now almost 34 weeks. She gets hiccups and kicks me in the side if i lay the side shes laying on.

There is no reason your baby wont be ok. You will have all these happy precious memories of your very own in the next few weeks. Be happy and dont worry till something happens.

sometimes something goes wrong. But its unlikely itl happen twice. That little baby will make you so happy soon. Try and think about the future. Hugs xxx