I should probably start having sex again at some point...

[SarahBear]

I haven't had it in about a year It's kind of necessary for conceiving, though. I'm not trying to conceive until July, but it might be a good idea to get back into the swing of things before trying to conceive. Anyone else waiting to conceive and thinking about how they need to actually start having sex?

 

[Reidfidleir]

What's been preventing you? Honestly curious.

 

[SarahBear]

Lack of interest. I have a serious lack of interest in sex ... When conceiving Violet, I was only interested because of the prospect of conceiving. I did have sex a bit during my pregnancy, but afterward, I went back to my usual lack of interest.

 

[apreslaube]

Sarah, I am the same way. My comes from a crapload of serious issues . Regardless, I want to have that desire, but I don't. We are working on it. I am hoping that once we want to start trying, I will have that desire and it will work out. Have you talked to a doctor (medical or psychological) about this?

 

[MrsPanda]

Same boat as you. I wish I knew why

 

[mrs sunflower]

Do you think it has something to do with the birth control you are using affecting your hormones? My desire has fluctuated a lot over time depending on what BC I was using. On the pill it was very good, with Mirena it was pretty bad, also post-pardum (and when breast feeding) in general was very low. When I am off of everything it is good and fluctuates with my cycle (lower at the beginning of the cycle, high mid-cycle). What are you using? Breast feeding could be affecting your hormones. Has it always been this way for you? We all have different baseline levels of desire.

 

[apreslaube]

Mrs Sunflower, I don't know about Mrs Panda, but we only use condoms. I haven't been on BC in many years and hope to never go on them again. I do agree though, one of the (many) bad things about BC is the effect they have on desire.

 

[SarahBear]

I had mirena before trying to conceive Violet and now I have Paragard. I honestly have never had a very high degree of sexual attraction to others and my sexual desire peaked early and was probably more due to curiosity and figuring myself out than real desire. It's just how I am. Nothing to fix or go to a doctor for.

 

[bellaxgee]

i am in the same boat....and we are going to start trying in July as well! My "excuses" according to my DH..we still cosleep with our 2yr old, I had a 4th degree tear that still hurts, and we are just both busy/tired as we both work full time. I also just have no desire.

I am glad I am not alone. What does you OH have to same about this>?

 

[SarahBear]

He doesn't generally say anything about it. I'm sure he'd like to have sex once in a while, but he's not a highly sexual person either. As far as excuses go, we co-sleep with no plans of kicking her out of the bed. Remember, the bedroom isn't the only place you can have sex! Get the kid to sleep, slip into another room, do your thing, return. Co-sleeping isn't my excuse. I don't have an "excuse." I just have a lack of interest I actually don't know if we'll be trying in July. We have plans to travel that month, so the opportunity may not arise. We'll see.

 

[mrs sunflower]

It's just fine to have a lower desire - my DH does but he gets more into it when we are ttc (provided I keep things very low stress). You actually don't need to have sex a lot to get pregnant, just at the right time. Once a day or two before ovulation gives you a good shot. This cycle we managed 3x every other day the week I ovulated (2x is ok but 3x is hard for DH). We didn't change our usual frequency (2-3x a month) until we were actually ttc.

 

[SarahBear]

Every other day while you have "egg white cervical mucus" is enough. We had sex twice, the cycle that Violet was conceived!

 

[Child2Hold]

Oh, thank goodness I saw this. I've always thought I was weird or different. My lack of sexual desire is why I'm single. When I first heard about AI all I could think was, "YES! No sex and I get to have a baby? Sign me up."

 

[minties]

I'd be happy if I never had to have sex again. I've been with my OH since we were teenagers, so it's lost the novelty now!

 

[Miss Vintage]

We haven't had sex since the day we conceived our son. My boyfriend got weirded out by the idea of having sex when I was pregnant, so wouldn't go near me! And then I got PND and just haven't felt like it since having my son. I don't know if it's lack of desire, or that I feel very insecure about the way I look (I'm trying to lose weight), but it's just not there for me. I'm glad I'm not alone. We're not trying for our second until next spring, but like you Sarah, I feel we should probably get back into the swing of things before then!

 

[Pearls18]

I'm doing the opposite lol, I've just had the baby and can't DTD until my coil goes in (not risking it we are ridiculously fertile and DS2 is the result of a condom breaking -happy accident-) and it's frustrating having to wait another 2 weeks!!! December was the last time and that is the longest we have gone in years, must have been since DS1. So long as you and your partner are on the same page I suppose sex isn't an aspect of some people's relationships, must make TTC strange!

 

[LockandKey]

I'd be happy if I never had to have sex again. I've been with my OH since we were teenagers, so it's lost the novelty now!

^^this is exactly me! But me only, DH is always ready for it, no surprise there We are not looking to TTC for another 4 years or so, so we have the occasional treat once a week or once every 2 weeks, and that's about it, but after doing laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, and being mentally, physically, and emotionally drained all day long by an infant and toddler in the process of toilet training, the very last thing I am looking forward to doing is more physical labor

 

[sequeena]

We don't have very regular sex, more regular than you but we average on once a month. My son was a one hit wonder (after 2 years of almost constant sex haha) so I know it only takes the once but now he's sleeping through the night I really don't have an excuse not to have sex

 

[SarahBear]

I'm doing the opposite lol, I've just had the baby and can't DTD until my coil goes in (not risking it we are ridiculously fertile and DS2 is the result of a condom breaking -happy accident-) and it's frustrating having to wait another 2 weeks!!! December was the last time and that is the longest we have gone in years, must have been since DS1. So long as you and your partner are on the same page I suppose sex isn't an aspect of some people's relationships, must make TTC strange!

Can't you just do non-coitus-sexual type stuff?

 

[Pearls18]

I'm doing the opposite lol, I've just had the baby and can't DTD until my coil goes in (not risking it we are ridiculously fertile and DS2 is the result of a condom breaking -happy accident-) and it's frustrating having to wait another 2 weeks!!! December was the last time and that is the longest we have gone in years, must have been since DS1. So long as you and your partner are on the same page I suppose sex isn't an aspect of some people's relationships, must make TTC strange!

Can't you just do non-coitus-sexual type stuff?

Yeah and we have, but he's 500+ miles away with work right now lol, he's back in 2 weeks which is good timing!