i think i have PND :(

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by DaniMoose, Nov 15, 2011.

  1. DaniMoose

    DaniMoose Well-Known Member

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    Ive never had any history of depression and rarely lost my temper before and im really ashamed to even admit it, i am crying here writing this :cry:

    There are times where i feel like throwing myself down the stairs and feel like a failure and there are days which can't be any more perfect.

    Lo has times especially recently (poss 4 month sleep regression) where he'll cry himself to sleep 8/10 times whether he is happy or not and times like this morning where he'll just scream for what feels like ages and i feel like i can't do anything for him which pisses me right off and i've even screamed in his face because of it, and although know it isn't his faullt and i'm having irrational thoughts although i wouldnt do anything to hurt him. It's mainly the crying when he tries to go to sleep or gets overtired that is really getting to me.
    Previously i've even hit the walls and think ive chipped my little fingers which haven't healed yet :( I'm so scared of what might happen, but not to LO but myself :cry:

    I can't go to my docs and don't really have anyone to talk to other than my husband. Is there a way of getting help/counselling without going to the docs? otherwise id have to change my docs and god knows how long itl take.
     
  2. mummytori

    mummytori proud mummy

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    Huge hugs hunni, think you should try an talk to your hv, but talkin to hubby should also be really important or he won't understand what your goin thru so don't view it,as a bad thing that you've only got him. Is there a reason you can't see your doctor?
     
  3. DaniMoose

    DaniMoose Well-Known Member

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    i do talk to my OH but i think he has it too at times....even though our patience has grown 100x since lo was born, we do have our moments and when he gets pissed off, i find myself getting angry at him (i don't lash out or anything though), and he's a brilliant dad!

    I can't really go to the docs as hes not really brilliant about things, like in the past i'd go about problems and he'd refuse to help or even believe me (he's never even heard of thrush in the milk ducts ffs)...and i always do my research and prepare myself before i go.
     
  4. DaniMoose

    DaniMoose Well-Known Member

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    bump

    nobody else? :(
     
  5. ginny

    ginny Well-Known Member

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    It's really hard isn't it, you are not alone, everyone feels down or angry at different times. At least you have recognised it, why don't you speak to your HV if you are not comfortable talking to your GP, I did and I felt a lot better. I remember the 4 month bit and it was really hard, reality sinks in and all of a sudden, your baby has a mind of their own, please don't feel bad xxx
     
  6. Kage76

    Kage76 Well-Known Member

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    I would find a new doctor. Maybe ring your HV and see if she can reccomend a doctor. But by the sounds of it the one you have is rubbish anyway. Do you have a mothers group that can reccomend a good doctor? (you dont need to tell them why you are looking)- you have done the hardest part in recognising that there is a problem now you need to go find the people to help you get better. I had a quick look on line and I found this article. It has some numbers to contact and im sure they can point you in the right direction. You dont have to do this alone- you just have to make sure that you get help.

    https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhea...ostnatalmentalhealth/postnataldepression.aspx
     
  7. losingtheplot

    losingtheplot Well-Known Member

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    hi hun, i am sorry your feeling down, i see your still breastfeeding are you taking any supplements? i am taking pregnacare breastfeeding ones and i find they really help. I had PND with my first baby and i took so anti depressants for a few weeks and they really helped to lift me up a bit and when i felt better i stopped. I have always been quite an emotional person and can cry at the drop of a hat! we were in starbucks today and i needed to feed the baby, it was cold with the door open and i asked if we could close the door and the manager said no as they were not allowed! so i had to breastfeed while freezing my tits of :) i had to have a little cry its awful post baby blues. I am sorry your doc is not understanding, a good doc is like gold dust! if you want to chat some more just pm me x x x x x x
     
  8. Palestrina

    Palestrina Well-Known Member

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    Hugs to you. You are not alone. I wish I knew how your health care system worked over there to give you advice. The american system is crap but atleast we can change doctors at a moment's notice. I know it may take a long time to change doctors but it might be better for you in the long run to do so. PND is a common occurrence and if you suspect you have it you're better off getting the help you need.

    In the meantime do you have a swing? I remember being at my wits end with LO's crying until we got the swing. Also if he was really wound up I would give him a warm bath and that calmed him down too. If I ever get so stressed out that I want to scream I leave LO in the other room and let him cry until I calm myself down.
     
  9. feedindy

    feedindy Well-Known Member

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    :hugs:

    Sometimes I get so overwhelmed I want to cry too. My LO just passed through 4 month sleep regression, but now she is teething and is even worse when it comes time to put her to bed. By about 5 pm every day, honestly I cannot take another second and DH comes home and I just hand LO to him and do things around the house. Of course cooking, cleaning, and laundry don't quite qualify as "me time" but it is the closest I am gonna get to it at this point. Getting LO to bed recently has been horrible. Last night for instance, she cried for an hour and a half nonstop. It doesn't help that my LO is a very non cuddly baby and cries even more when we tried to hold her. So all we could do is try shushing her or playing her musical light show thing. Sometimes her swing puts her to sleep. She used to self settle beautifully, but not with her teething.

    Bedtime is so frustrating honestly I just hate being a SAHM at those moments. Sometimes I think I am just not cut out for being a SAHM. I have felt those same feelings you described. When LO is happy, I am happy and we have a great day. But when LO is upset, I just hate this.

    I am really trying to get in true "me time" starting today, where I don't just clean the house. I think I'll try working out or doing one of my old hobbies, like sewing.

    I wouldn't call myself having PND, I just think I get easily overwhelmed. My LO only has 3 30 minute naps all day, so it is really nonstop attention towards her, and I need a break.

    Does your husband help out as much as possible? Maybe just some extra time for yourself may help. My DH has been taking days off here and there to just help with LO while I rest a little.
     
  10. DaniMoose

    DaniMoose Well-Known Member

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    @losing the plot....yeah i take the sanatogen new mother ones, aswell as fenugreek, omega 3 and acidophilus but i don't think they are helping mood wise! and i ain't short of sleep so i can't put it down to that either (especially as i don't get tired either...i have to be up like a day and a half before i feel tired)

    I don't think i want to be taking anti-depressants while i am expressing/bf just to be safe but then again i find it hard to talk to people as it is...i'm stuffed methinks

    @feedindy...OH is brilliant but he can get overwhelmed at times also, and both of us in that state doesn't help anyone...so i have to bite my tongue and take it when it gets tough.

    Getting him to sleep is tough no matter what mood he is in...he can be happily playing for a good half hour/ splashing about in the bath which he loves or whatever, when its time for his nap, its go nuts time....and i hate the sound of him crying if i put him down and try to take a breather and those mini fast breaths in when he cries for a long time break my heart :(
     
  11. Bex84

    Bex84 Well-Known Member

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    does your surgery only have one doctor or could you ask to see another gp. I know at my doctors you dont just have to see your GP. I havent had PND but had deppression a while a go, and I can honestly say the councilling I got helped alot more than antidepresents since I could talk out my feelings with someone seperate from the situation and also learn coping strategies. Hope you feel better soon, feel free to private msg me if you need to talk. I have been trying to meet new mums so I get out and about which I think helps. I am in suffolk to, where abouts are you :flower: if you are close if you ever want someone to get out of house with feel free to PM me:flower:
     
  12. BabyViking

    BabyViking Well-Known Member

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    I know how you feel, and I even started a thread the other week called exactly the same as yours. I still feel down most of the time, but I have really started to appreciate going to the gym after LO goes to sleep. I get an hour of me time, and a good work out which is great for clearing your head and feeling better. I really recommend it.
     
  13. DaniMoose

    DaniMoose Well-Known Member

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    thanks girls

    Bex im in Ipswich, where are you? :)
     
  14. Bex84

    Bex84 Well-Known Member

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    Im in Brantham, so not far at all. I can easily get a bus to Ipswich.
     
  15. DaniMoose

    DaniMoose Well-Known Member

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    cool...do ya have fb?
     

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