Ive never had any history of depression and rarely lost my temper before and im really ashamed to even admit it, i am crying here writing this There are times where i feel like throwing myself down the stairs and feel like a failure and there are days which can't be any more perfect. Lo has times especially recently (poss 4 month sleep regression) where he'll cry himself to sleep 8/10 times whether he is happy or not and times like this morning where he'll just scream for what feels like ages and i feel like i can't do anything for him which pisses me right off and i've even screamed in his face because of it, and although know it isn't his faullt and i'm having irrational thoughts although i wouldnt do anything to hurt him. It's mainly the crying when he tries to go to sleep or gets overtired that is really getting to me. Previously i've even hit the walls and think ive chipped my little fingers which haven't healed yet I'm so scared of what might happen, but not to LO but myself I can't go to my docs and don't really have anyone to talk to other than my husband. Is there a way of getting help/counselling without going to the docs? otherwise id have to change my docs and god knows how long itl take.