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I think I'm depressed, do I take a break?

rebeccalouise

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Well, after a week of major ups and major downs, I've hit rock bottom. Yesterday I got my clear BFP on an early predictor test, and a faint BFP on an IC. I was over the moon, so was OH. Woke today and tested with a cheap test from my local chemist Acutest - Early Sign it's called. BFN, not even a hint of a line. I'm absolutely heartbroken, we've been trying for nearly a year now with no luck, so to have a positive test yesterday was beyond amazing! I'm actually debating having a break from it all, as I can't take this much more. I'm on the sofa today, full of flu, no motivation, I actually feel so sorry for my LO because we haven't been out in days :cry: OH works away, so he's never here in the week, he's not even back this weekend. :nope: I just really needed a rant, so if you've read this far - thank you! X
 
I would see a dr. The fact that you got a bfp yesterday means something. Maybe the test you used this morning was no good or not sensitive enough? :hug:
 
AF has come, well the bleeding has got a lot heavier and turned red. I'm guessing chemical, or faulty tests? :nope:
 
Hi hun, I'm sorry I don't have an answer and can't make the pain better, but just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in this. The heartache of TTC is horrendous and it often feels like nobody else understands but I'm there with you and am sending virtual hugs. If you're charting with temps and opks etc maybe you could take a break from them and just have a month of BD for fun. I've found it had become a means to an end and a bit of a chore, which is an awful realisation. If you do think you're depressed, please do talk your GP. Getting out and about with your LO even for a walk to the shop is infinitely preferable to hiding away. Set yourself small achievable goals; see a friend for coffee, take a walk....Sending hugs and hoping you're ok xx
 
Hi hun, I'm sorry I don't have an answer and can't make the pain better, but just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in this. The heartache of TTC is horrendous and it often feels like nobody else understands but I'm there with you and am sending virtual hugs. If you're charting with temps and opks etc maybe you could take a break from them and just have a month of BD for fun. I've found it had become a means to an end and a bit of a chore, which is an awful realisation. If you do think you're depressed, please do talk your GP. Getting out and about with your LO even for a walk to the shop is infinitely preferable to hiding away. Set yourself small achievable goals; see a friend for coffee, take a walk....Sending hugs and hoping you're ok xx

Thanks hun. :hugs: It's good to know that I'm not alone. I think I might turn to NTNP now, and give things a more relaxed approach. As you said, it's beginning to feel like a chore. :nope: I haven't stopped blubbering today, feel useless. It's beautiful weather here, and I've done nothing but sit inside all day, because I feel like I'm not in any fit state to face the world! It doesn't help that I feel lonelier than ever at the minute.. I feel like no one I talk to understands.. :cry: Xx
 
Hi hun, I'm sorry I don't have an answer and can't make the pain better, but just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in this. The heartache of TTC is horrendous and it often feels like nobody else understands but I'm there with you and am sending virtual hugs. If you're charting with temps and opks etc maybe you could take a break from them and just have a month of BD for fun. I've found it had become a means to an end and a bit of a chore, which is an awful realisation. If you do think you're depressed, please do talk your GP. Getting out and about with your LO even for a walk to the shop is infinitely preferable to hiding away. Set yourself small achievable goals; see a friend for coffee, take a walk....Sending hugs and hoping you're ok xx

Thanks hun. :hugs: It's good to know that I'm not alone. I think I might turn to NTNP now, and give things a more relaxed approach. As you said, it's beginning to feel like a chore. :nope: I haven't stopped blubbering today, feel useless. It's beautiful weather here, and I've done nothing but sit inside all day, because I feel like I'm not in any fit state to face the world! It doesn't help that I feel lonelier than ever at the minute.. I feel like no one I talk to understands.. :cry: Xx

I am sorry you are feeling so terrible. You are not alone. We are here to vent to and share with :hugs:. Like Layla said, ttc can be heartbreaking and a more relaxed approach may be just what you need rather than the stress of trying right now. I hope you feel better soon.
 
Thank you. :hugs: I just feel like my world has been taken over by TTC, I'm getting married in 3 weeks, and I've barely even thought about it.. because I'm just too obsessed with this! :dohh: X
 
I know exactly how you feel. What a roller coaster this all is, over and over. We have been trying for about 8-9 cycles (some months we took breaks, but we decided to start trying last May). At this point I am feeling like it will never happen, and my life feels so consumed with it yet so empty too, because it's nothing but BFNs every month. I have bipolar disorder on top of it, so I get very down when AF shows or I test and get a BFN... usually I start to perk up once my O day approaches and for the week or so after, as I am hopeful and eager to see if it's MY month. But as AF day approaches and the "signs" I expect aren't there or fade away, the mood dives into a dark hole. I am starting to think I should stop trying altogether, too, but DH and I decided we can never "win" if we never "play" - so every month when the OPKs start to darken I get obsessed with temping etc. again. It's like an addiction, even though when all is said and done, it just makes me sad and disappointed. Sorry, you caught me on a very down period. AF is almost gone and I am not feeling the energy to want to try this cycle, and DH seems exhausted and distant, too.
 
I know exactly how you feel. What a roller coaster this all is, over and over. We have been trying for about 8-9 cycles (some months we took breaks, but we decided to start trying last May). At this point I am feeling like it will never happen, and my life feels so consumed with it yet so empty too, because it's nothing but BFNs every month. I have bipolar disorder on top of it, so I get very down when AF shows or I test and get a BFN... usually I start to perk up once my O day approaches and for the week or so after, as I am hopeful and eager to see if it's MY month. But as AF day approaches and the "signs" I expect aren't there or fade away, the mood dives into a dark hole. I am starting to think I should stop trying altogether, too, but DH and I decided we can never "win" if we never "play" - so every month when the OPKs start to darken I get obsessed with temping etc. again. It's like an addiction, even though when all is said and done, it just makes me sad and disappointed. Sorry, you caught me on a very down period. AF is almost gone and I am not feeling the energy to want to try this cycle, and DH seems exhausted and distant, too.

thank you my heart! :hugs: back to you. :)

starryjune, I can relate to your feelings so much right now, it sounds like we are both pretty much in the same boat. :nope: :hugs: I always perk up when it comes to O day too, just because I think "maybe this month is the month for us, maybe we'll get our :bfp:!" but then, like you, when AF shows I go extremely down. I give up hope altogether, and say I can't be bothered to keep trying for the heartbreak every month. It is very much like an addiction, you're right. I said this month I couldn't really be bothered to use opks, but I know I'll end up peeing on one when it comes to it! :dohh: I've just started to pick myself up again, but it's hard. I've had days of blubbering on and off, not leaving the house in fear of crying publicly, I've just felt like hiding away - the only reason I've tried my best to get out, is that LO loves being outdoors. however, we went to the shop the day AF arrived, I saw a newborn baby and nearly burst into tears, I feel so pathetic and awful, but that is how bad it has got. :cry: OH works away, and if it wasn't for my daughter and my amazing friends, I'd really struggle to see the point. me and OH are getting married next month, and I'm hoping that once me and LO move down to his workplace after the wedding, we'll be in with more of a shot - as I won't just see him at the weekends, we could dtd everyday if we wanted too! (he wishes :haha:) but yeah, I'm just trying to look forward to all of the good things to come, as hard as that sometimes is. I've booked a doc appointment for the end of this month, I'm hoping I'll be able to get some help regarding my mental feelings towards the whole TTC thing and life in general - it's draining me, and I know it's starting to drain OH too. on the plus side, AF is slowing for me today. I hope you're starting to feel a little better. :flower: If you need to rant/vent or anything, feel free to message me at any time. :dust: x
 

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