I think I've been really stupid :( maybe TMI

[beansheart]

Aw ladies, please don't "fall out"....at the end of the day, this subject is ALWAYS by it's very nature going to be one to stir strong emotion and feeling and I think we are all at risk of reading too much into anything when it comes to our desire to have those sticky beans and happy healthy babies.
I for one welcome EVERY opinion, whether I agree or not and I don't think I have ever read anything that has been written on here that is meant as anything other than comment or support to something anyone has posted.
This forum has gotten me through some super dark days and has reassured me likewise that I will never be alone when it comes to troubles of conceiving, pregnancy or miscarriage. Like I have said a hundred times before, thank you ALL so much for your words, advice and love xxxx

 

[MRS_HJO]

Not stirring up drama, just making sure it is known that I am not coming on here to tell beansheart or others what to do. I was trying to help beansheart by offering her the advice my doctor shared with me. In the same breath, I also shared a personal experience my MIL had that contradicted my doctor's opinion, so I am def. not saying that what she did was wrong. It is every woman's personal choice on when they try to conceive again, and when they feel they are ready to go though all of the emotions again. I support what any woman decides. However, in my quest to help another bnb member, my words were twisted around and someone only heard what they wanted to hear. The "boldness" was simply to let everyone know I was not spouting facts and saying "oh you're so wrong for what you did". I wanted my words to be re-read because they speak for themselves. If I have any attitude, it stems from going through the most hellish experience I've ever been through, and how I really took offense to a miscarriage being compared to an everyday period. That's it. That's all. Everyone is welcomed to their opinions and sharing their experiences. That is what this forum is for, and that is how some of us have gotten through the most difficult times in our lives - by helping eachother out.

 

[pink80]

If I have any attitude, it stems from going through the most hellish experience I've ever been through, and how I really took offense to a miscarriage being compared to an everyday period. That's it. That's all.

Hun I really don't think Andella was comparing a miscarriage to a period in the sense of demishing the experience, I can honestly say this is the most heartbreaking and difficult I have ever had to endure. I read it more relating to the mechanics that the body goes through during a miscarriage, in that if it happens naturally (and I include medically manages tablets as instruments aren't used to determine what's 'left') the body will instinctively 'know' what needs to be left behind to take you through the next cycle ready for pregnancy, much in the way it does during a period, which is why many people go on to have a successful pregnancy immediately after a miscarriage. But as you say, everyone has to make thus decisions for themselves, as only they will know and we all have to be here to support eachother

I am truly sorry for your loss, and the rest of the ladies that are unfortunate enough to find themselves in this area of the forum

Much love to all xx

 

[MRS_HJO]

Hey Pink,

It's a very sensitive subject, obviously. All I know for sure is what I experienced (passing the baby/sac) was nothing like a period... It was more like contractions similar to having a baby. But I, of course, am not a doctor, so I can't say anything regarding the mechanics of everyone's body. Again, all I was trying to do was share my doctor's opinion (and also what I have read in fertility books to support his opinion). Bottom line is... Who knows what is going on inside of our bodies?! I'm not really here to speculate. I just was trying to share experiences from both sides of spectrum. We all know women can go on to have a beautiful baby directly after a m/c (without waiting). We have seen the proof, which gives us all hope. Thank you for trying to help me see Andella's side of things. I already saw it, and I will agree to disagree.

Regards,
Heather

 

[pink80]

Hey Pink,

It's a very sensitive subject, obviously. All I know for sure is what I experienced (passing the baby/sac) was nothing like a period... It was more like contractions similar to having a baby.

I know exactly how you feel - my experience was very similar I had the contractions too, which made the whole thing worse as I kept thinking how unfair it was the I was going through that pain yet I wouldn't get my baby at the end of it. To make matters worse I had had to go through it again on Thursday as the original treatment on the 14th didn't do 'the job' completely - the whole process that us ladies had to go through is so unfair and I wouldn't wish it on anyone xx

Thank you for trying to help me see Andella's side of things. I already saw it, and I will agree to disagree.

Regards,
Heather

Sounds like a good plan xx

 

[lucy_lu10]

I don't think you've been stupid or selfish at all. When I miscarried my first at 6 weeks, my doctor said that I could do whatever felt right to me/my body. She also told me that some women are quite fertile after a miscarriage and that some of the reasons why a lot of women decide to wait longer are to recover mentally and to better be able to date their next pregnancy. I conceived my son 2 weeks after I miscarried and no one scolded me or anything. If anything, the doctors were very happy for me and said there was no problem in using my miscarriage bleed as my last period for dating purposes. As long as you're happy with your choice, no one should make you feel bad about it. Good luck!!

 

[andella95]

I never said that a miscarriage was "just a period" only that, during our periods, the lining to our uterus is shed, as it is during a miscarriage (not talking about a D&C). If someone chooses to find this offensive, there is nothing I can do or say about that.

As someone who has had multiple miscarriages, I understand the pain and heartache they cause, and I would never want to make someone's experience harder.

BTW, I'm 8 weeks pregnant after a mc in February with no AF between. And thus far, this is the healthiest pregnancy I've had since my first.

 

[pink80]

Congrats - hoping this is a sticky bean

 

[beansheart]

Andella, congrats (funny how I can say that to you and no one else I actually "know" who is pregnant just now.....). I am actually in a world after having just had my first cycle that I will never get pregnant again...it was so much easier when I thought I couldn't if honest..this just makes the loss so much more cruel as I am sure a lot of people identify with...I mean why give us an amazing miracle for us to have that taken away again? Not that I expect any answers on that one but it's my main thought when I think about it. I often have days I think I wasn't really pregnant anyway and it was all a dream....well a nightmare really in the way it all ended before it began. x