Klandagi
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Started bleeding on Dec 2. Baby was alive until sometime after Dec 5th after I had a healthy ultrasound. Dec 9th revealed a dead fetus... Tonight I passed what I can only describe as a sac and material within the sac.
The bleeding is stopping, the cramps were never worse then mild/moderate period cramps. My heart is shattered as I had to collect the tissue for a biopsy as my doctors believe this is all due to the fact that I had H1N1 (Swine Flu) shortly after conception.
UPDATE:
I thought it was over earlier this evening when I initially posted this... I was wrong. Around 5:30 AM I woke up in moderate/severe pain with what I can only describe as contractions and labor pains. It was more EXTREME pressure in my vaginal region then anything else. I walked the hall, went downstairs, and just paced for a bit. No extreme bleeding. No gushing, nothing. Finally I sat on the loo and felt like I needed to push and caught what slipped out; an entire complete and unruptured sac with my baby still inside it. She was perfect, just perfect with her fingers and toes... and I sat and sobbed for awhile and wrapped it in a tissue to be taken down to the doctor in the morning. I'm torn as to whether I want to allow them to dissect her and look for the cause or whether I want to bury her... And then I remember I'm moving to Canada in the beginning of January and couldn't stand the thought of burying her (I say her only because everyone predicted this baby to be a girl) and then leaving her never to see her again or be able to visit.
A short while later I passed a large blue/gray very tough membrane filled with blood vessels. I'm not sure what it was... I'm assuming the rest of my uterine lining.
I'm emotionally and physically numb. Just.... Numb. She died at 9 weeks. No one really has any clue just how human a baby looks at 9 weeks in the womb. Ok so maybe I'm not numb... I'm crying again... Oh God why did you do this to me?
... Goodbye angel... I'm so sorry.
The bleeding is stopping, the cramps were never worse then mild/moderate period cramps. My heart is shattered as I had to collect the tissue for a biopsy as my doctors believe this is all due to the fact that I had H1N1 (Swine Flu) shortly after conception.
UPDATE:
I thought it was over earlier this evening when I initially posted this... I was wrong. Around 5:30 AM I woke up in moderate/severe pain with what I can only describe as contractions and labor pains. It was more EXTREME pressure in my vaginal region then anything else. I walked the hall, went downstairs, and just paced for a bit. No extreme bleeding. No gushing, nothing. Finally I sat on the loo and felt like I needed to push and caught what slipped out; an entire complete and unruptured sac with my baby still inside it. She was perfect, just perfect with her fingers and toes... and I sat and sobbed for awhile and wrapped it in a tissue to be taken down to the doctor in the morning. I'm torn as to whether I want to allow them to dissect her and look for the cause or whether I want to bury her... And then I remember I'm moving to Canada in the beginning of January and couldn't stand the thought of burying her (I say her only because everyone predicted this baby to be a girl) and then leaving her never to see her again or be able to visit.
A short while later I passed a large blue/gray very tough membrane filled with blood vessels. I'm not sure what it was... I'm assuming the rest of my uterine lining.
I'm emotionally and physically numb. Just.... Numb. She died at 9 weeks. No one really has any clue just how human a baby looks at 9 weeks in the womb. Ok so maybe I'm not numb... I'm crying again... Oh God why did you do this to me?
... Goodbye angel... I'm so sorry.