I desperately want at least one more child, my husband says he is perfectly fine with 2. But he also said he was perfectly fine with 1 at one point also but now absolutely loves our daughter to pieces. We are kind of doing the natural family planning along with the withdrawal method. He said if God gives us a baby by doing this then he will be very accepting of it. But doesnt actually want to try. I know I need to be more supportive of his decision but at the same time, I feel like the pregnancy/baby chapter of my life isnt over yet. Its so hard to accept. Anybody else in the same boat or was at some point of their lives? This is something that wont break our marriage because we have a pretty good relationship and I am so very grateful for what we already have!
I want more babies, my husband says no more kids
- Thread starter Pne1985
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Hey! I'm following as I'm sort of in the same position. My DH doesn't want anymore but I'm devastated. He's not very understanding, in fact if I broach the subject or tell him I'm upset then he just stops speaking to me. Like if he ignores me, it will pass. However, that's just making me want one more and I then have more time to think it over. I've even thought of names. They are a variation of his father's name who has just recently died. I obviously haven't told DH this part because then he definitely would stop talking to me. So many people keep asking me if I'm having another (we only have one together) and I just don't know what to say. Unfortunately im on contraception so there's no way a happy accident could happen. Fingers crossed you get one x x
I’m sorry, I mean depending on the kind of contraception it is, it could happen. The chances are slim if used right but I know quite a few that have gotten pregnant on it. It is very devastating. How old is your youngest? We just use the “pull out method” around my fertile time so it could happen especially if I happen to ovulate a different time than normal. I don’t want to trick him into it either because I never would want him to hold that against me or the baby. I know he would be loving and accepting of it if it happened but would be stressed out as well. I primarily except financially take care of the kids. I stay at home with them. There are days I want to rip my hair out and he says “see, that’s why we aren’t having anymore “. But, aren’t there days like that with every job and everything in life? Maybe I need to be more understanding with his decision but like you said, they don’t understand. Not being pregnant and giving birth again and all that comes with is hard to accept!
I use the IUD. Something that my husband suggested because I could have the non hormonal one. Now I think about it, that should have been the alarm bell when he suggested it when lo was 4 months old.
Lol is now 4. I don't think it's going to fail. 😔
Everything you are saying is how I feel too, except I work full time so I don't really have the tearing my head out times but I do understand what you mean! I definitely would if I was a sahm!
I do wonder who's being selfish though, him...or me? It's such a sad time.
I don't have any friends to talk to and he won't talk about it. He just falls out with me and doesn't speak to me. But that doesn't make it go away. It makes me want a baby even more.
Lol is now 4. I don't think it's going to fail. 😔
Everything you are saying is how I feel too, except I work full time so I don't really have the tearing my head out times but I do understand what you mean! I definitely would if I was a sahm!
I do wonder who's being selfish though, him...or me? It's such a sad time.
I don't have any friends to talk to and he won't talk about it. He just falls out with me and doesn't speak to me. But that doesn't make it go away. It makes me want a baby even more.
Oh okay, so he hasn’t even budged slightly for quite a while then? Does he even tell you his reasonings for not wanting more? God love ya, working full time and being a mom plus getting everything done around the house, how do you do it?! Haha. But yes, some days I feel like I constantly have someone working against me when my kids aren’t listening. But regardless, I love them to pieces!
And I ask myself that as well. How do you even compromise with a situation like this? We both originally before we had any kids, said we wanted 4. Then we were content with 1 for a while but both agreed to have another. We never mentioned a number at that point so I tell my husband let’s compromise on 3 since we have 2 now and originally wanted 4! Haha
I will be 33 next month and he is 30. I think we are still young enough. I ideally don’t want kids too late in life but if that’s in my card but accident, I’ll accept it! How old are you and your husband?
And I ask myself that as well. How do you even compromise with a situation like this? We both originally before we had any kids, said we wanted 4. Then we were content with 1 for a while but both agreed to have another. We never mentioned a number at that point so I tell my husband let’s compromise on 3 since we have 2 now and originally wanted 4! Haha
I will be 33 next month and he is 30. I think we are still young enough. I ideally don’t want kids too late in life but if that’s in my card but accident, I’ll accept it! How old are you and your husband?
He has never been decisive, rather he was waiting until our DS started school ( which will be in sept).
I'm 37 and he is 52.
We saved all the baby stuff and put it in the loft ready. But now he's just decided NO. I can't just say ok after 4 years of thinking we would TTC.
To get rid of the stuff is so hard. I've tried and I just cry because I was saving it for LO#2. He told me to put it in the loft. Why would he do that if he had no intention? Why would he be so cruel?
I hate that he won't talk to me about it. It makes it worse.
I'm 37 and he is 52.
We saved all the baby stuff and put it in the loft ready. But now he's just decided NO. I can't just say ok after 4 years of thinking we would TTC.
To get rid of the stuff is so hard. I've tried and I just cry because I was saving it for LO#2. He told me to put it in the loft. Why would he do that if he had no intention? Why would he be so cruel?
I hate that he won't talk to me about it. It makes it worse.
Yes, waiting for this time for you and now knowing it isn’t ever going to come would be so heartbreaking. Maybe he got comfortable with how your lives are now that you child is more independent and doesn’t want to go through the baby stage again?
Maybe ask him if he realizes that your son will be starting school this year and you’ve been patiently waiting to bear another child? If not, maybe sell all of your stuff or get rid of it. They say that’s usually when you end up pregnant again! Haha
Maybe ask him if he realizes that your son will be starting school this year and you’ve been patiently waiting to bear another child? If not, maybe sell all of your stuff or get rid of it. They say that’s usually when you end up pregnant again! Haha
I am in pretty much the same exact situation! I have a 12 year old daughter and havent been on birth control and havent gotten pregnant in these 12 years! Weve always done the withdrawal method but in the last few months hes been not withdrawing more than ever in the last 12 years (this is so TMI sorry but think this forum is used to it haha) and I probably shouldve gotten pregnant last month. I got really upset that I wasnt and started doing a lot of research and have been thinking the worst since Im 38.
I started bringing it up more and also started taking prenatals and trying to prepare and maybe make myself more fertile and one day my husband felt like it was all too much and said he doesnt want another kid and he wont change his mind. I was absolutely devestated but we talked a little bit later and he said he didnt want to force it and if it happens hell be happy but he doesnt want to try.
So Im like if you dont try then it wont happen! Some days hell say something about having a baby and I get so confused! But Im grateful for when he does make those comments.
I actually tracked everything this month and theres a chance I could be pregnant (only 5 dpo) and I have a obgyn appointment in the morning to start to see if everything is ok with me so Im kind of worried that Im not ok and that if Im not pregnant that I dont know if Ill get another chance
Ive just been trying to hand it over to God, take it day by day and have asked in faith that He will bless us with another baby. I also asked For God to make my husband and I have the same heart no matter what that is. Since then Ive calmed down some and my husband has seemed to come around a tiny bit so will see what happens.
Sorry for the long post, just thought Id share since we seem to be in the same boat! Good luck, hoping for the best!
I started bringing it up more and also started taking prenatals and trying to prepare and maybe make myself more fertile and one day my husband felt like it was all too much and said he doesnt want another kid and he wont change his mind. I was absolutely devestated but we talked a little bit later and he said he didnt want to force it and if it happens hell be happy but he doesnt want to try.
So Im like if you dont try then it wont happen! Some days hell say something about having a baby and I get so confused! But Im grateful for when he does make those comments.
I actually tracked everything this month and theres a chance I could be pregnant (only 5 dpo) and I have a obgyn appointment in the morning to start to see if everything is ok with me so Im kind of worried that Im not ok and that if Im not pregnant that I dont know if Ill get another chance
Ive just been trying to hand it over to God, take it day by day and have asked in faith that He will bless us with another baby. I also asked For God to make my husband and I have the same heart no matter what that is. Since then Ive calmed down some and my husband has seemed to come around a tiny bit so will see what happens.
Sorry for the long post, just thought Id share since we seem to be in the same boat! Good luck, hoping for the best!
I am in pretty much the same exact situation! I have a 12 year old daughter and havent been on birth control and havent gotten pregnant in these 12 years! Weve always done the withdrawal method but in the last few months hes been not withdrawing more than ever in the last 12 years (this is so TMI sorry but think this forum is used to it haha) and I probably shouldve gotten pregnant last month. I got really upset that I wasnt and started doing a lot of research and have been thinking the worst since Im 38.
I started bringing it up more and also started taking prenatals and trying to prepare and maybe make myself more fertile and one day my husband felt like it was all too much and said he doesnt want another kid and he wont change his mind. I was absolutely devestated but we talked a little bit later and he said he didnt want to force it and if it happens hell be happy but he doesnt want to try.
So Im like if you dont try then it wont happen! Some days hell say something about having a baby and I get so confused! But Im grateful for when he does make those comments.
I actually tracked everything this month and theres a chance I could be pregnant (only 5 dpo) and I have a obgyn appointment in the morning to start to see if everything is ok with me so Im kind of worried that Im not ok and that if Im not pregnant that I dont know if Ill get another chance
Ive just been trying to hand it over to God, take it day by day and have asked in faith that He will bless us with another baby. I also asked For God to make my husband and I have the same heart no matter what that is. Since then Ive calmed down some and my husband has seemed to come around a tiny bit so will see what happens.
Sorry for the long post, just thought Id share since we seem to be in the same boat! Good luck, hoping for the best!
Oh my gosh, I feel like I could have written this! It is so devastating! I pray to God for another baby if its in His plan for us to and my husband would be totally okay if that was the case but he doesnt want to deliberately plan for one. So Im holding on to some really strong/healthy swimmers that last a while and my faith for maybe a change of heart. But like you said I need to pray for answers either way, whether it be my husbands choice or mine. Good luck for this month and please keep me updated on your results! Women are having babies later in life now and dont seem to have problems so I hope its the same with you!
bluebell
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I can totally relate to you all I've been broody since my LO turned 3 and he'll be 10 in a few months 
It's not the same overwhelming broodiness that I had for about 5 years but I still do hope deep down that I'll be blessed with another baby.
MY DH is completely adamant he doesn't want anymore, we planned to only have one and he found the baby / toddler stage so unbelievably tough (was a SAHD) that he doesn't give an inch! He enjoys parenthood much more now our son is older although he still finds the sense of responsibility hard at times. He can't understand at all why I would want to rock the boat or make life tough again
I've not been on any contraception for about 3 years and rely on the pull out method, every month without fail I wonder if perhaps I have fallen pregnant but at nearly 37 I know my age is starting to work against me. I do wonder too whether I'm almost at an age where I wouldn't want to have any more, I think if it doesn't happen within the next year or two that I will be able to let it go. At the moment I'll be 43 and him 45 when our son turns 16 and I can't really wrap my head around the notion of being in my 50s if we had another by the time they reach 16.
I'm definitely more at peace than I used to be, I love my LO so dearly and am so very grateful to have him in our lives and I also love my husband and know I need to respect his wishes. But we're both very big believers in what's meant to be so if I am lucky enough to be blessed with another child I know my husband will come around eventually.
I've just found out a childhood friend is pregnant with their second and it did stop me in my tracks, I'm so happy for them but I can't help but think why can't it be me, why can't my husband see the benefits like I do. Having children is the hardest job in the world but also the most rewarding, momentous and joyful experience and I know if I did it all again now I'd make sure to enjoy every second without the same worries that you have with your first. I also think about our future and feel that the difficulties we'd face in the short term would be totally outweighed by the benefits of having a larger family when they're all grown up.
I don't know, I just wish there was a way to turn off the feelings but ultimately you can't help how you feel. It's definitely a massive challenge for a relationship when you both want something so fundamentally different from life but my love for my family unit and my husband outweighs the desires I have and I would never do anything to jeopardise that.
Wishing you ladies lots of luck and hope you find peace with whatever your destiny is
xx
I've been broody since my LO turned 3 and he'll be 10 in a few months It's not the same overwhelming broodiness that I had for about 5 years but I still do hope deep down that I'll be blessed with another baby.MY DH is completely adamant he doesn't want anymore, we planned to only have one and he found the baby / toddler stage so unbelievably tough (was a SAHD) that he doesn't give an inch! He enjoys parenthood much more now our son is older although he still finds the sense of responsibility hard at times. He can't understand at all why I would want to rock the boat or make life tough again
I've not been on any contraception for about 3 years and rely on the pull out method, every month without fail I wonder if perhaps I have fallen pregnant but at nearly 37 I know my age is starting to work against me. I do wonder too whether I'm almost at an age where I wouldn't want to have any more, I think if it doesn't happen within the next year or two that I will be able to let it go. At the moment I'll be 43 and him 45 when our son turns 16 and I can't really wrap my head around the notion of being in my 50s if we had another by the time they reach 16.
I'm definitely more at peace than I used to be, I love my LO so dearly and am so very grateful to have him in our lives and I also love my husband and know I need to respect his wishes. But we're both very big believers in what's meant to be so if I am lucky enough to be blessed with another child I know my husband will come around eventually.
I've just found out a childhood friend is pregnant with their second and it did stop me in my tracks, I'm so happy for them but I can't help but think why can't it be me, why can't my husband see the benefits like I do. Having children is the hardest job in the world but also the most rewarding, momentous and joyful experience and I know if I did it all again now I'd make sure to enjoy every second without the same worries that you have with your first. I also think about our future and feel that the difficulties we'd face in the short term would be totally outweighed by the benefits of having a larger family when they're all grown up.
I don't know, I just wish there was a way to turn off the feelings but ultimately you can't help how you feel. It's definitely a massive challenge for a relationship when you both want something so fundamentally different from life but my love for my family unit and my husband outweighs the desires I have and I would never do anything to jeopardise that.
Wishing you ladies lots of luck and hope you find peace with whatever your destiny is
xx
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