I was adopted so feel free to ask me anything

[Amanda]

I'm 36 and was adopted at 5 weeks. I have tried to find my birth mother, but with no joy. So feel free to ask me anything about what it's like to be adopted. I'll try to be honest with you.

 

[sophie]

My SIL was adopted, she wont talk about it though. Its good that u can talk about it amanda, she's quite angry person if that makes sense! Sometimes its just good to get it off your chest!
XX

 

[KX]

My mum was adopted, she talks openly about it too, says she had a lucky escape from her birth mother who isn't a very nice person.

 

[Amanda]

Like I say, I've never managed to trace mine, but my brother did, and Wayne and Waynetta Slob spring to mind!!!!

 

[loulou1980]

my sil was adopted off at 6 years of age and she has a lot of hate towards my mil and fil

 

[weestar21]

My OH cousin was adopted at 6 weeks old they named her Elaine and shortly after they named her they found out that was her birth mothers name Elaine hasnt tried to trace her birth mother as she knows why she was adopted. Her birth mother was 14 years old when she got pregnant and back then (22 years ago) it was prob the best descision for her. Elaine was brought up in a loving family and now has her own little girl so who knows what teh future will hold for her, if she will look or if her birth mum will look for her

xxxxxx

 

[Wobbles]

I was fostered as a child I do wish they had of adopted me though

 

[Amanda]

if she will look or if her birth mum will look for her

Because I was adopted before 1976, my birth mother has no way of tracing me. It has to be me that does is. When she put me up for adoption, she was told that there was no way I could ever find her, but then the law changed in 1976.

When I decided to trace her for the first time, I had to contact the social services and go for councilling so I would understand that I may be rejected.

TBH, I wouldn't mind the rejection, i would just like to be able to find her and maybe have a photo so I could see if I had any of her features.

 

[weestar21]

i know u might find this stupid but have you tried jeremy kyle or the trisha show you see it all the time people who have never met their real birth parents, i always cry . My sister (oldest one) has never met her real dad, i think she wants to find him but think she is too scared of the rejection and now 30 years on i dont think she will find him now

 

[Amanda]

I have thought about trying them, but TBH, I don't really want to broadcast my life on national tv. I know it may get me the outcome that I want, but I just feel a bit funny about it. Does that make sense?

 

[weestar21]

yeah it does make sence hun dont know what else to suggest babes i know you said at the top of this that your brother had found her

'' I've never managed to trace mine, but my brother did, and Wayne and Waynetta Slob spring to mind!!!! ''

or did i pick that up wrong? I really hope one day you find something your looking for even if its just a picture xxxxx

 

[Wobbles]

Amanda have you got many details about her?

I know a long shot & maybe one you have tried but theres sites like friends reunited etc.

 

[loulou1980]

my sil traced my mil through social services,she was gave up in 1976,think the social worker that works for aoption services did it through electoral rolls etc

 

[Amanda]

Amanda have you got many details about her?

I know a long shot & maybe one you have tried but theres sites like friends reunited etc.

She's not on here, I tried this. I'm also registered on all the adoption sites, but she isn't. She obviously doesn't want to be found.

Oh, and loulou, she's not on the electoral roles under the name she was when I was born. But, there is not death certificate for that name, but neither has she got married under that name. She obviously covered her trail well for a reason. I do have quite a lot of details about her, but just keep hitting brick walls.

Weestar - yes, my brother did find his mum. He had the address she was living at when he was born, was in the area through work, so went and knocked on the door on the off chance, and and she still happens to live there!! But he's never been back. He said he didn't dare drink the Tea, and was constantly looking out the window to make sure the wheels remained on his car!!!!

 

[weestar21]

no wonder he didnt go back then

 

[Amanda]

Honestly - he said the whole area was awful, and you could tell what she had eaten for dinner for the past week just by looking at her t-shirt!!!!

He was in a £500 suit, driving a brand new Citreon C5, and she asked him if he was after money from her!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[weestar21]

omg sorry but thats the kind if thing my mother woul say too

at least he got to see her though and hopefully one day you will see your mum too

 

[lilshortass]

i have a question - when a child who was adopted as a baby, and always knew he/she was adopted, has attachment problems due to not having that primary attachment to their mother, can this ever be reversed? can the baby as an adult fully attach with people, ie boyfriend / girlfriend?
i know there are lots of theorys on it, but i was wondering if from your personal experience, have you been able to bond with people fully? i know this is a very deep subject but in the past it meant a lot to me to find out (for reasons im not going to go into) and i think if i could know now, it would make me understand my past more.
thanks

 

[Amanda]

I don't think I've had any problems, but not having anything to compare it with, I'm not 100% sure. I am on my second marriage, and also had a 5 year relationship in between that, so you could say I do find it hard to bond, but then again you could say that I pick the wrong men!!

I definitely don't have any problems with bonding with my parents, brother, or children. I look on myself as totally normal there. My mum is my best friend, my dad is the advice giver, my brother annoys the hell out of me but I love him to bits, and the kids, well, I love them both.

I do admit to finding it difficult to keep friends though. Very very easy to make them, but then I get crap with keeping in touch and they tend to disappear.....

 

[Aquarius]

I'm adopted too, at 6 weeks old.