I wish Men understood our need to have children!!!

[lovelaughlive]

Hey there Girls
First post,Im new!!!
I am 19,turning 20 in 2 weeks I am very broody, and have been for a while!
My BF and i have been dating for 5 years and living together for 3!
He is 23 and has his own business and i am in a VERY secure job that i love!!
We are still currently living with my parents but are going to start house hunting beginning of next year which i am very excited about! i am soooooo broody, i am an only child and i LOVE children to bits!! My partner also loves children but doesnt want to have any right now, he says we are not too young but he still wants to live his life a lil bit longer! I am hoping he is going to propose someday soon I am currently on the pill, i had stopped it but back on it due to my acne and raging hormones I am praying he changes his mind within the next year or so!! Hold thumbs for me ladies!! And i will hold thumbs for u ladies!!

 

[Beccaboop]

I know what you mean!! I think my husband would be happy to wait years and years to have a nabs if I let him!! He doesn't get exciting that it's getting closer and gets fed up when I talk about babies to much!!

I think it's because men can still make babies when their like 70 but women can't so they don't get that 'need' like we do because they have loads of time!!

I do agree with your boyfriend a bit tho. I wanted to wait until we were married and had a morgage on our own house before we TTC but being engaged and renting your own place would be ok too! Xxx

 

[Beccaboop]

I know what you mean!! I think my husband would be happy to wait years and years to have a nabs if I let him!! He doesn't get exciting that it's getting closer and gets fed up when I talk about babies to much!!

I think it's because men can still make babies when their like 70 but women can't so they don't get that 'need' like we do because they have loads of time!!

I do agree with your boyfriend a bit tho. I wanted to wait until we were married and had a morgage on our own house before we TTC but being engaged and renting your own place would be ok too! Xxx

 

[lovelaughlive]

Hey Becca
I agree totally with you!
My OH gets so over me when i talk about babies and marriage all the time! But he loves children almost more than i do and i love the smile on his face when he sees babies and plays with our friends children!
BUT, the other day i said to him can we maybe start trying end of 2012 early 2013 once we all settled and he said.........YES WE WILL SEE! thats the most ive ever got out of him so it sounds positive!!! YAY! And looks like he has said to his sister something about marriage because both of them have been acting very strange! hehehe! Oh i pray i pray hahaha!!

 

[poppy]

I do think Becca is right. When it comes to nature, it is our instinct to want to have babies and nurture and like Becca said, when only have a limited time frame to do it and this leads to an increasingly loud biological clock ticking. Whilst men have a lot longer and so it is not so pressing on them. However, mens' sperm quality is found to decrease as they get older and this can lead to issues in conceiving as well.

I know it is hard to wait when you are broody but, you are so young (I don't mean this to sound patronising), your OH is right, you have a lot of time left to be young and enjoy life, have a career, travel, go out, get qualifications, save up money, spend lots of time with your mates before you think of having children. Having children is amazing but it does change your life completely. You do feel tired a lot of the time and you do end up giving up most of your 'me' time and time as a couple. When you are young this could put a lot of pressure on a relationship. A lot of men find this hard as they feel they are now 'tied down' and this often leads to a relationship breakjing down. This doesn't seem to be the issue in your case as you have been with your man a long time and really commited - but have fun for a few years, live life to the full and then you will feel that you have really been young and enjoyed it before the responsibilty of kids come along.

Good luck.

xxx

 

[VeryLime]

I think my husband would say the reverse. When it comes to kids, I can wait. Him however, he wants to be a daddy so badly. Lol Actually, when we think I may have gotten pregnant by accident and now we have doubts (which I'm currently confused about) He's the one who wanted to actually start TRYING for a baby.

 

[Smile181c]

OP we're almost in the same situation OH wants to wait as he says we're too young etc but I'm always like young by who's standards? We don't act like other 20/21 year olds our ages, we only go out to pass the time! We're already living the life of "adults" so why is this the one thing that's holding us back

I also understand when people say how young we are, we should be enjoying it, travelling and learning etc but I've always said back "what if none of that is what I want though?" (Btw no offence meant to anyone that has said this - I'm just using it as an example )

Anyhow, I digress - just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat x

 

[lovelaughlive]

Thanks so much ladies for all your different views and advice!!
@poppy, i do agree with you in the sence of still having fun in life, one thing i would like to do is finish my studying! which is a 3 year degree! So we will see how it goes!
@Very Lime-OMG you must be the luckiest woman on earth hahahaha, i wish my OH was llike that hehehe!
@Smile, thanks so much! We are very much alike! My OH and i never go out and both of us hardly drink at all, if ever!
Goodluck to all of you ladies and thanks for all the advice!!

 

[poppy]

OP we're almost in the same situation OH wants to wait as he says we're too young etc but I'm always like young by who's standards? We don't act like other 20/21 year olds our ages, we only go out to pass the time! We're already living the life of "adults" so why is this the one thing that's holding us back

I also understand when people say how young we are, we should be enjoying it, travelling and learning etc but I've always said back "what if none of that is what I want though?" (Btw no offence meant to anyone that has said this - I'm just using it as an example )

Anyhow, I digress - just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat x

I understand what you are saying and definately agree that everyone is different and that some people are meant to be young parents and will be extremely good at it (and very happy to settle down). I do think it has to be really carefully thought through though (I suppose like any decision to become parents whatever age) as once you are parents you can't change your mind. So many people I know have mentioned how much it has changed their lives both for the better and the stressful side of things and how different it is to their previous idea of what being a parent was going to be like.
One of my friends had twins when she was in her early 20s (about 23). She was really broody and her and her husband were ttc before their wedding. Once she had her kids, she felt really overwhelmed and a bit depressed. Our group of friends were all still going out, travelling a lot etc and I think she felt like she had lost her youth. She love her boys so much and is coping really well now in her 30s but there was a while where she said she felt really isolated, even though people offered help. Now, obviously this is just an example and a lot of people in their late teens/early 20s would find parenthood easy and fit comfortably into the role. All I am saying is, that it is not a decision to be taken lightly, especially if one of you in the relationship is saying that you are too young. That is a definite warning light.

Obviously the decision to have a baby is personal and some could be ready for parenthood in their early 20s and some not ready in their 40s!

 

[Smile181c]

Of course thanks!

 

[NurseSooz]

Don't worry, I've learnt guy will not understand our hormonal urges and pangs. Let's face it, it takes them one act so really the rest is all play to them. They don't get that need to carry a sprog and let your body do its female thing.
You're gonna be great parents when the time comes. Get your hormonal support from the amazing ladies on here!

 

[Beccaboop]

I've heard most men don't really get excited until either the first scan or when the baby is born!! So I'm just waiting for that day to hurry up and get here!!

 

[cupcaker]

Yup, another one here waiting for the "yes". Wish it was something we could just sort by ourselves

 

[Teacher00]

The hubby keeps going up and down on this though. We've both talked about how much we want kids but one day he'll be really excited and talk about baby names, and the next think we should wait 5 years. We've been having this talk for almost a year and I thought we'd finally come to the point that we were TTC. When it happens it happens, but sometimes I feel like he's avoiding me because he know I'm ovulating.

There are so many sites out there that say "be sure you're on the same page before you get married" and we are. He very much wants kids but I think he's just nervous about how life will change for us. I've had baby fever for almost a year now and I'm dying! Nothing I do makes it go away. I don't want to pressure him in to anything but I hate the run around yes/no/maybe where we are right now.

 

[marie02]

Are you me? I think you could be as your story is exactly the same as mine!!! What do you do? I have to admit to being constantly miserable at the moment because of this not knowing...

 

[marie02]

Sorry, wasn't asking you what you do (I think I can guess that) I was trying to say what do you do about it all.

 

[lovelaughlive]

Hey Ladies
Hope ur all well today!!
I am feeling a teeny weeny bit better as i had a chat with my OH yesterday and he said Maybe in about a year but now i feel i want to wait a bit longer! I need to get a car,OH has one but i want my own! We need to get our own place and settle down and i would like to finish my studies! 3 year degree! So will see how it goes! oh yes and hopefully by then be married!!
Thanks to all of you and lots of luck!!
We will be there for each other!!

 

[Smile181c]

My DF is still as confusing as ever! Yesterday he was saying how he wasn't ready and this morning I tell him I had (another) baby dream last night and he was saying how we'd put them in the little box room when they're a baby and move them into the bigger spare room when they're older! Also went on to say how he hoped we'd have a boy first and that we wouldn't have to worry about buying too much cause a lot of people in our families have had boys so we'd get lots handed down

STOP GETTING ME EXCITED!!

 

[lovelaughlive]

Aww shame man!!
I KNOW, its horrible isnt it? They make us all excited and then the next day they like nah im not ready yet!!
Really works on my nerves!! Hahahaha!
Shame i hope you and your man can decide on a date asap! Its horrible to wait!
Im just glad to know im not the only psycho one!! Hahaha i drive my OH nuts! Then i start crying and hes like WTH why are u crying!!! Then hes really freaked out! LOL Too funny!

 

[lovelaughlive]

Smile, we have alot in common!! My OH and i have been together for 4years 10 months 2 weeks and 2 days today And we have 2 kitties!! My babys!! Now im just waiting patiently for him to pop the question!!! How old are u if i may ask? Im 20 in 6 days