ICSI & Surgical Sperm Retrieval - do we/dont we?

[Step Mummy]

Hi ladies,
We have been told that my husband has no sperm and our only option is to have the Sperm Retrieval surgery which means cutting him open and "fishing" them out. Then I have to have ICSI. We are trying to decide what to do.
We cannot have this done on the NHS as my DH has an 18yr old son. We have just had the blood tests etc and are waiting the results.

Looking at the process involved for him and the surgery, in addition to the cost of ICSI, and the what look to be low chances, we are wondering if it is worthwhile putting ourselves through this all for the next couple of years, and are considering the adoption route. But obviously like you all are desperate for a baby of our own. But it seems like such a long and hard and emotional and painful path is ahead, it makes you reconsider. My other worry is that although I am 32, my DH is 48, and I am worried about him having a baby at 50+ when he should be looking to retirement, although he says this is not a concern it is unfair on him.

I just wondered if I could get some real life guidance from you as to how hard it all is, and how long it really will go on for as I guess when you have a second and third go, you cant do it every month?

Thanks for any help Angela
X

 

[MissAma]

Angela, I read your message on the "Adoption after LTTTC" thread and guessed you meant SSR for ICSI.

Let me try and be succinct because the last thing you need now is more confusion and long winded wishy washy answers.

ICSI IS a long involved process. There are no two ways about it, it takes heart wrecking amounts of time and money for sure, in particular if you fund it (we paid for our first cycle out of pocket and we are STILL having huge debts from it). There are no guarantees, it takes forever, it makes you want to break things on a daily basis.

It may take one cycle meaning only a few months, making it far faster and cheaper than adoption, or it may take years and multiple cycles, no one knows. One piece of practical advice I have is that if you decide to do it, either go for quality or for quantity. E.g If you go for quality, Dr. Ramsey in London is one of the best specialists in male infertility in the world and clinics such as Care will give you the best odds, steroids, blasto, fresh sperm, etc. If you decide on quantity and want to play the numbers game then give the 4 packs guaranteed results packs at foreign clinics such as Turkey or Malpani in India a look.

Now for something you mentioned, how involved the procedure would be for him and how invasive. It sounds far worse than it is! Mine is nearly in tears when having a cold but went through two extractions without a glitch. It hurt somewhat the day after but the surgery in itself took 15 minutes, local anesthesia, no problem, easy breazy.

Last but not least it works, not for everyone and not right away and we thank God every day we were of the lucky ones but it DOES work. While we obviously never met ours beyond a few ultrasounds we met many SSR and ICSI babies and it's truly inspirational!

Don't hesitate to ask any questions you may have, feel free to private message me if you want.

 

[BizyBee]

Beautifully stated MissAma!

Step Mummy, I don't have experience with SRS but wanted to send hugs your way, as it seems like a difficult decision. xx

 

[Step Mummy]

Hi missAma

Thank you so much for your email, it is really helpful to hear from someone who has been there done it, and who is lucky enough to have succeeded - congratulations it is fantastic news!

I have printed it off so I can tell my husband about the surgery and that you mentioned its not too bad for them.

How many goes did you have, and how long did that take all in?

Thanks again for taking the time,
Angela

 

[MissAma]

We only had two, the private go in Spain and the equivalent of NHS here in Sweden and in total it took 3 years because we had an awfully long waiting time till the second go. If you count how long we tried before that as well and how long till we'll meet our Little Human Being then I think it's closer to 5.

He had two SSRs. I was worried about the severity of the operation on the first one, we even wondered if he could fly back from Spain a mere two days after. Not only that but the evening after the operation we went out to dinner and after that he had some discomfort but nothing an Ibuprofen and the collection of all the little bottles in the mini-bar in a plastic bag couldn't fix

This second time we had the procedures at the same time, him the SSR, me the EP -Egg Pick-up- and at first I was there in the surgery room before they called me for mine. They laid him down, prepared the green sheet over the family jewels and then gave him a serious dose of local anesthesia. I am guessing he had more than be because after mine, they wheeled us both into the same recovery room and he was only dozing in and out of sleep while I was in tears for a while there because my anesthetic was rather thin. He also got up from there and said he was hungry fairly quickly and got dressed easily -they are wearing protective jock-like bandages for about a week after the procedure after which all is ok, no wires to be taken out, nothing, just off with them and resume sex and sports and everything other- and then helped me out.

One thing to try is still attempt a healthy regimen of zinc, vitamins, healthy eating, nearly no drinking and caffeine, no hot showers, etc, for a couple of months or more before the procedure. There may be only a few good guys in there but they can all use improvement.

The scariest part is not the practical part of the procedure but waiting for the results, the nightmares of the potential "sorry, there was no sperm found" announcement. It happens rarely and should you choose Ramsey he is famed for almost always finding it, but still you can't help but worry.

Again, it's not a joyride in the least, I know I've put my body through hell for this, some people have it easier, I've doubled my weight, my ovaries hurt even now, etc and if you asked me after the failed attempt in Spain I could have sworn I'd never do it again but clearly I'd be lying and I'm happy that's so, even if something terrible would happen to this baby -and we evidently hope and fervently pray that nothing will- I would still do it all over again for these few months in which I carried our child.

Don't worry about my time, happy to help!

 

[Flake-y]

Hi Angela, my DH has the same problem, no sperm. You are not alone!

We've decided to go down the SSR & ICSI route. It is expensive, but I wouldn't be happy if we didn't try it, and DH is happy to go through the SSR. Of course we won't know until it's done whether or not we'll get sperm, but I think it's worth a shot.

Same with ICSI; I want to try it, if it doesn't work, we'll try again, and again until our money runs out!!! Although, I think 2nd goes etc are cheaper, and a shorter process if you use frozen embryos.

It's a very personal thing though, I didn't even consider not doing the ICSI, but you have to think about what's best for you & your DH.

Although adoption can also be very expensive, and a very long process too.

Lots of luck with whatever you decide to do & feel free to pm me if you want to chat; it's nice knowing someone else is going through the same thing. Oh, and we are similar in age, I am 31, and my DH is nearly 41!