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Discussion in 'Postnatal Support' started by Serene123, Oct 1, 2008.
let your other half carry the load as well. . . dont push him out let him bath, feed baby etc
my advice would be to accept help that is offered to you by OH's family or friends.
also to go out daily with LO no matter how tired you are as it does the world of good (well, does for me anyway!!!).
don't know whether to laugh or cry!!! i had a woman come up to me in tesco speaking about how cute ali is. she then asked me if he slept all night (at the time he wasn't). i said 'no' and she then told me how 'odd' that is....for fsake he was only 4 weeks old at the time!!! weirdo!!!!!
wow, I didn't even notice this thread until now!! I agree with most of these, and definitely this one. I expected the worst; not to have a night sleep, screaming, frutration etc etc, I expected it was going to be so bad, that when the time came for me to be a mommy, it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be, it was easy in my eyes, because I expected a nightmare. My parents laugh at me for this one, but it's true!!
Also, and I live by this one, "tomorrow is a new day" if things go badly today, there is always tomorrow to get more sleep, or have a better day, and if not, then maybe the next day. I have not once had a day where I could not deal with Alexa myself, because I just remind myself there is always tomorrow.
What a great thread!! I would say the best advice is to love your baby, and don't worry about being perfect. Let others help too!!
This is such a great thread!! I would definately say to accept help from others. My mum is now a special person in Tobys life she was at the birth and I love seeing his gorgeous little face light up when he sees her. My OH mum also has her own quality time with Toby and she really appreciates me letting her have this time with him which is great. I made the mistake of not resting when he was first born and I had a few stitches and I paid for it in the 2nd week and could hardly move so do as your told and rest!!! Good Luck xx
I love the saying "It takes a villiage to raise a baby" (or something to that effect)
While absolutely trusting your own instincts and at the end of the day, its your baby and do what feels right to you, remember to seek help, seek guidance and seek support. If your feeling overwhelmed, there is no shame in asking for help. Its okay if things aren't okay.
Also, take time out every day, even if its just having a shower... hand the baby over to your OH and have a really LONG shower... because you cant hear if the baby is crying and so you can totally zone out and let him deal with the baby completely.
One more thing - dont worry about milestones too much, nobody ever makes it through to adulthood (to childhood in fact) without learning to walk, talk, communicate, eat with a spoon, hold their own cup and go to the toilet independantly. I worked in childcare and spent far too much time trying to 'fix' children who didn't need 'fixing' at all! That said, speech impediments are still important to watch for, as they do filter into adulthood, but, really, thats about it!
i have another one dont get wrapped up in ur birth if i didnt go as planned. i spent a long time beating myself up over jacks birth and still feel low about it today. i think if i had moved on sooner after the birth i wouldnt feel so low now x
What a great thread! Thanks everyone! I'm def. writing some of these down!
i so agree with this Claire.
I got so worked up over Ali being in the Neonatal unit for 8 days that i didn't really appreciate the first moments i had with him there and at home. Now i would love to have them back and not to have dwelled over the ifs and buts of my pregnancy. I really need to move on and thank god i have a healthy baby boy who is developing at an amazing rate (just didn't have the start to his life i expected).
I would say practical advice is not to buy clothes as you get so many as gifts, also dont buy lots of cheap bottles buy a couple of colic bottles like dr browns or tommy tipple do same style, made for alot easier feeding times and a happier baby. Other than that just love them and enjoy getting to know their little personality- oh and loads of pics so much can change in a matter of days
Take too many photos!
if you decide to breast feed, it hurts like shit the first few weeks, but gets better. Don't give up.
dont let your lo get used to sleeping in your arms!
Take loads of photos etc when she's really little, and back them up! I broke my phone last week and lost most of her early photos, it's devastating!
Get them into a routine as soon as you can, esp for sleep time. Not putting Seren in the moses basket in the day was the best thing I ever did, after a couple of days she started sleeping better in the night. She stayed in her chair in the day.
Make the most of your rest time when you come home from hospital, I tried to be a bit too active, getting up and doign housework etc when she was sleeping, and going out shopping within a couple of days, it made me feel 10x worse in the long rung, and ended up with a nasty infection because I wasn't resting enough and leting my body recover. Just make the most of having things done for you, and relaxing on the sofa with your baby!
Also make sure to eat plenty of fibre after having the baby, or get the fibre drinks with plenty of water, they are a God send!
Start reading baby books instead of pregnancy ones! I was a pregnancy expert but knew nothing about newborns!
enjoy every moment, they don't last long. Housework can wait!
fab thread - well done ladies, some real valuable experinces and advice coming through xx
If Breastfeeding is making you miserable then stop!
Continuing to breastfeed because of the guilt you might feel will affect your rapour with your baby. They'll know if you're unhappy and will reflect your emotions which will compound the problem.
I'll be honest; ceasing breastfeeding is the best decision I could have made for all my boys because we became happier almost instantly.
Controversial I know but true non the less.
I came on here to write exactly the same thing. I think if i had of carried on breast feeding i would be at the doctors now asking why i was so miserable. Its just not for me.