If you could give a new mum one piece of advice

I LOVED this point. So easy to forget. Tour guide to the world. Aaahh maybe its my hormones but I've gone all mushy xxx

 

My advice would be: go with your gut.
You know your child better than anyone. If someone tells you something, professional, friend or mean-weller & it doesn't feel or seem right to you, don't do it. You've probably heard this a million times by now, but a mothers instinct is truly amazing.
Cheers,
AboutWee

 

Take it all very slowly and enjoy the experience!

You might not feel amazingly in love with your LO straight away but its perfectly normal dont let it get you down!

Dont try and be a saint take help as and when you can, i didnt want help looking after my LO but my Mum came round did my dishes and put my bins out etc and it was such a help!

xx

 

Mine would be NEVER BE FOBBED OFF BY MEDICAL STAFF! I know for a fact mother's instinct is the best thing. Poppy was very poorly from birth, bringing up every feed, we took her to health visitor who said i was being dramatic, A&E where a doctor actually laughed at us and said we were over feeding her. Turns out she had Pyloric Stenosis. It was only because she choked on her sick and i insisted they keep her in that we found out when we did. They had told us to give her another week then take her back- by which point according to the surgeon who operated she'd have been critically ill if not worse.

If you think something is wrong, don't give in untill you're satisfied with what you've been told, baby's health is much more important than not wanting to be a pain xx

 

I followed the Chinese way of postnatal recovery. I didn't go out, didn't have shower, didn't drink any cold water and beverages, for a month. Taiwanese In-law came over, basically took over, from concocting chinese herb drinks to cooking marketing, house cleaning, showering baby, pacifying baby etch, all i have to do is feed baby. Lucky or sounds weird but i greatly appreciate it, only I gained more weight than I was pregnant.LOL! But one month is over and I am on my own now.
so my advice, if its possible, try the Chinese "WELAI". So good!

 

Its okay not to like your baby sometimes. You will always love her/him but that doesn't mean you always like her/him when they are crying and screaming and annoying you.

 

The only advice i can think of that applies to all is do not get obsessed with getting them to sleep through the night! They'll do it when they're ready and not before! As long as your baby has a good bedtime routine, enough food during the day, nice dark room etc there is nothing more you can do. My daughter slept through at 6 weeks then started waking once for a bottle for a month, slept through for a couple months, then started waking again, its happened 3 times now, we're currently on waking once!! I've given up getting upset and stressed about it, i just get up, feed her and go back to bed, works for us now i'm chilled about it

 

My best advice is: do NOT feel bad if sometimes you need to put your screaming baby in his cot, leave the room and splash some cold water on your face. Baby will be fine, and it'll do you a world of good.

Also, if you bottle-feed, buy the type where the measurements are molded into the plastic/glass. If you get the ones with the measurements printed on, it'll rub off when you wash them!

 

Be yourself. Remember you arent super woman and you are still the woman you were before being a mum so spoil yourself x

 

Regards BF i)be patient: it can take up to 4 wks to get the hang of it ii) see a lactation consultant asap if you feel you are struggling with BF.

For me, my little one hadn't really latched nor drank before leaving the hospital whilst crying for almost 3 days consistently YET within 5 mins, the lactation consultant was able to explain WHY my wee girl was struggling to feed by looking at her jaw length and my nipples. Now 4 wks on, she is feeding from both sides. Just amazing support!

 

Not sure if this has been mentioned or not.. But when people say "sleep when the baby sleeps".. Do it. I never did because I didn't want to feel lazy or have other people dealing with her if she woke up, but seriously in the first few weeks take advantage of the help people offer reguardless of if you want to or not. It makes all the difference

 

Go with the flow....
I seriously got myself in a state because of all the things my baby SHOULD have,SHOULD be doing etc etc..
Every child is different,dont beat yourself up if your baby doesnt WANT 20oz of milk a day,or if your baby hates tummy time,or if you cant bf but you wanted to,or that your baby should go through the night at 12 weeks,or that your baby needs weaning early or late..
All babes are different,special indivduals
Relax and go with it
xx xx

 

i totaly agree with yourself

also take time out babies are stressfull an dont come with a manual it takes time to figure out wht each cry is for xxx

 

if you cant BF your not a failure or a bad mum like i thought, it seriously isnt the end of the world. my body wouldnt give up my milk no matter what i tried and i felt SO terrible. now bottle feeding and at 20 days old he sleeps for 6-7 hours at night xx

 

Take care of yourself, a baby needs a mum in one piece. I over did it in my first 5 days, really cracked the breast feeding, no sleep and ended up back in A&E 24 hours later with a serious infection. 5 days in intensive care with no baby, giving up breast feeding and on a lot of medication completely ruined our first 2 weeks together.

Now I'm home, I'm accepting a lot of help and have been reassured that I am not a failure for having to throw in the towel with regards to BF. It was a situation out of my control and baby is thriving on formula and that's all that's important.

 

Aww! I cant imagine! Bless ya hun!

I really agree with taking care of yourself, I ended up with severe mastitis in both breasts from BFing, stopped that, but I make it a priority that everyday, at some point, I take a shower, put a dab of makeup on, blow dry my hair, and even if I only put pj's back on, at least I feel rejuvenated and human again so that I can be alert and there for my LO.
And I also agree with the sleep when baby sleeps, lol I thought it was complete crap, but here in the past 4-5 days I will let myself nap if I'm tired when she's sleeping and it has made a world of difference. I think I was starting to get a touch of post partum depression, but now I really think it was just due to being soo tired and over exerted. I'm still bummed about my body but its just something that I'm going to have to get used to while its the way it is, but as far as feeling down and depressed and lifeless thats gone just since I got some rest!

 

ooo i just read another one on here i whole heartedly agree with....

DON'T FORGET TO EAT!!!

I still catch myself doing it now, but its crucial and vital to being there (ur mind) with ur LO!!

 

some things that helped me get through:

-do what you need to do to survive. this means, don't worry about a schedule, how much they should be sleeping, etc. there is no schedule. sleep when you can.
-have a station set up wherever you and the baby will be. fill it with diapers, wipes, baby clothes, snacks for you, books, lip balm etc. the least you have to move around to get stuff, the better.
-if you don't want visitors, don't have them.
-when you feel up to it, take people up on their offers to help you. it may not be for a few weeks, or it may be right away.
-go with your instincts. books and comparing yourself to others will drive you crazy. you will know what to do. books help for insight, but it's not all black and white.
-you can't breast feed too much. on demand is ok.
-remind yourself and your partner that the first weeks really are the roughest. so when it gets ugly, tell yourselves that it's normal, even when you feel like complete shite.
-don't feel badly if you don't get outside for a long time. stick with what feels comfortable for you.

 

There is great advice here, that everyone should read!

This really got me thinking....Mine would be

- Don't buy too much before birth. Babies don't really need that much

- Get out of the house at least one a day

- Look after yourself first or let others look after you. So you don't forget to eat, shower or sleep The early days are really tough.. even just emotionally. Both me and my OH were in tears at one time or another! If you are not functioning propery, you won't be able to care for your baby as best as you can.

- There are a million right ways to care for a child, and only a few wrong ones! Do what is right for you

- Listen to your instincts, and your baby. You will soon get to know each cry and what there needs are.

- Although you will have times when you just don't know what's going on!!! It usally is only one of a few things.
1 - they are hungry
2 - they are tired
3 - they are over-stimulated
4 - they are borred or under-stimulated
5 - they are uncomfortable

I have rarely found that in the early days it was crying because of a dirty nappy.. they just love sitting in it!

- Don't get caught up in competative parenting.. it is so easy to get sucked in! Everybody learns to sleep through the night, eat food, walk etc.

- Let your emotions over your birth or guilt over bottle feeding go.. it really doesn't matter that much.

hehe - sorry, I've gone on a bit! It was meant to be ONE peice of advice??!

xxxx