If you had postpartum depression, please can you share?

[topsy]

I have had depression on and off for the last 12 years and been treated by meds and therapy ( didnt always work!)

I was diagnosed with PND within 2 weeks of LO birth, I was literally crying 24/7 would not go out of the house, did not want to hold LO would give him to anyone else (DH my parents) when he cried as i would cry. I was put on meds again, I just got worse and worse until he was 8 months old and I was diagnosed with severe PND and psychosis and was hospitalized with LO in a mother and baby unit for almost 9 weeks. At that point I barley recognized my baby and husband was suicidal and in a very bad way. I never felt I bonded with Lo and they helped with that and got my medication straight ( at the time) I still have PND now and am being treated at my local mental health hospital, twice a week. Its been a long road and I still have a way to go.

Please if you are worried speak to your health vistor, midwife or dr hun.

I have friends who have had depression and have not had PND so its no way set in stone hun.

take care.

 

[sequeena]

I suffered with depression previously (due to things in my childhood, that went to court. I attempted suicide. It was a dark time). My son and I had a rough start. I had a hard pregnancy and almost lost my son. I almost lost my son again when he contracted Sepsis at 2 weeks old.

I had no idea I was unwell again. I broke down in front of my HV when my son was 7 weeks old and it just went from there. I did try anti depressants but I'd started having reactions to them whilst I was pregnant (severe vomiting) and it's stuck with me. I went to a PND group once a week but stopped going because I needed something more one on one. I was able to get counselling through action for children and I went once a week for 7 months. It's made a huge difference.

I still have down days and the last few weeks/months have been especially hard as my son has recently been diagnosed with a disability and has lots of appointments (with more to come in the future) but I'm doing ok. I ask for help now rather than try to do everything myself.

 

[AnneD]

.

 

[Miss Vintage]

I had a depression that I came out of a couple of years before I had my son. I do have PND. I felt disconnected from my son as soon as he was born, and spent most of my time grieving for my old life, despite him being very much planned and wanted. I recognised it and went to the doctor and got put back on antidepressants. It was the right thing for me, they saved my life (no exaggeration). I'd say that it's definitely not a foregone conclusion that you will get it, but if you do recognise any of the signs, get help, don't wait. I'm sure you know to do that any way.

As for me, my son is 9 months now and we have a great bond. I still have the depression and he's a high needs baby, which doesn't help. But, we're getting through it together and I can see a happy future for us. Good luck, PND is hard, but you can get through it if it comes to that.

 

[lauren_88]

I never suffered from depression before, and started suffering from anxiety after my grandfather died when I was 21. I hated the fact that death was something that was outwith my control and that the fact I would've done anything to stop it, couldn't.

Fast forward 3 years to having my son and I felt so alone and trapped with this tiny baby who relied on me for everything. My whole pregnancy it just never really sunk in that I was going to be a mum, kept worrying something bad was going to happen. So when he arrived and was perfect, I was totally shocked. I was in hospital for 10 hours in total before I was discharged.

I really struggled with adapting at first and had a serious lack of family support and not one of my friends came near.

My son then developed severe colic at 2 weeks old and it lasted until he was approx 3 months old. I don't know how many times during this 3 months that I felt like leaving my oh and son. I couldn't handle the 40mins sleep a night, no napping during the day, constant crying. The hoover was my saviour. I used to keep it on for hours at a time as it was the only thing that would stop him crying. I remember being glad that I could tick another day off on the calender as it was another day I had survived being a mum. I spoke to my health visitor about my concerns after I lost 2.5stone in 6 weeks. She told me it was the baby blues and not to be silly.

In hindsight, I was too ashamed to admit that I wasn't coping and that by admitting I felt how I felt made me a terrible mother. I was terrified my son would be taken from me if people knew what I was thinking.

Now, my son is my world. He is so easy to deal with now the colic has gone and we have a great routine. Don't get me wrong, he has his moments and at times I feel all the old anxieties return. But for some reason, being a mum just seemed to click for me at some point. It took a while though, and for that I still feel bad.

If I could give you any advice it would be to speak out if you want to let people know how you're feeling. Don't be afraid. Also, know that you're not the only one who feels the way you do. Places like this are great and I only wish I used this forum so much more in those early months. Good luck xxx

 

[Livebythesea]

I have had depression on and off for the last 12 years and been treated by meds and therapy ( didnt always work!)

I was diagnosed with PND within 2 weeks of LO birth, I was literally crying 24/7 would not go out of the house, did not want to hold LO would give him to anyone else (DH my parents) when he cried as i would cry. I was put on meds again, I just got worse and worse until he was 8 months old and I was diagnosed with severe PND and psychosis and was hospitalized with LO in a mother and baby unit for almost 9 weeks. At that point I barley recognized my baby and husband was suicidal and in a very bad way. I never felt I bonded with Lo and they helped with that and got my medication straight ( at the time) I still have PND now and am being treated at my local mental health hospital, twice a week. Its been a long road and I still have a way to go.

Please if you are worried speak to your health vistor, midwife or dr hun.

I have friends who have had depression and have not had PND so its no way set in stone hun.

take care.

You are so kind to share what you have been through. I would think that this could be my outcome, but yes hope it's not set in stone. I had never heard of being hospitalized with LO. Are you in the US? How are you all doing now? Do you think the biggest help was medication or hard to say? How was it on the baby unit? I was hospitalized for one week during my first depression because I was so worried about everything I literally could not sleep, was not working, lost a bunch of weight and was so out of it I could barely speak or walk.

Thank you so so much for sharing. My friend who's suffered from mild depressions had severe PPD and she said had no connection with LO and husband had to spoon feed her at one point but got medication and it helped a great deal.

Again thank you.

 

[Livebythesea]

I suffered with depression previously (due to things in my childhood, that went to court. I attempted suicide. It was a dark time). My son and I had a rough start. I had a hard pregnancy and almost lost my son. I almost lost my son again when he contracted Sepsis at 2 weeks old.

I had no idea I was unwell again. I broke down in front of my HV when my son was 7 weeks old and it just went from there. I did try anti depressants but I'd started having reactions to them whilst I was pregnant (severe vomiting) and it's stuck with me. I went to a PND group once a week but stopped going because I needed something more one on one. I was able to get counselling through action for children and I went once a week for 7 months. It's made a huge difference.

I still have down days and the last few weeks/months have been especially hard as my son has recently been diagnosed with a disability and has lots of appointments (with more to come in the future) but I'm doing ok. I ask for help now rather than try to do everything myself.

Thank you very much for your post. Can you tell me how you think therapy helped you? I ask this because with each depression I have I feel no way out of whatever the problem is and so no matter how many times someone may tell me that things will get better at the time I ambit reasonable and can't see at all that they will get better. I am sorry about your son's disability but hope you feel as I do now after so many years of trying, that each baby truly is a miracle.

I am terrible at asking for help but am so glad you are able to ask and get help! I would think that would reduce the depression.

I should see if there are groups anywhere that I am or close by.

Thank you

 

[Livebythesea]

I had a depression that I came out of a couple of years before I had my son. I do have PND. I felt disconnected from my son as soon as he was born, and spent most of my time grieving for my old life, despite him being very much planned and wanted. I recognised it and went to the doctor and got put back on antidepressants. It was the right thing for me, they saved my life (no exaggeration). I'd say that it's definitely not a foregone conclusion that you will get it, but if you do recognise any of the signs, get help, don't wait. I'm sure you know to do that any way.

As for me, my son is 9 months now and we have a great bond. I still have the depression and he's a high needs baby, which doesn't help. But, we're getting through it together and I can see a happy future for us. Good luck, PND is hard, but you can get through it if it comes to that.

I am thinking this might happen to me, feeling disconnected right away from my son - and it don't have mild depressions - I am just gone, no feeling, no smiling, no life - I am not a human..ugh so awful. Any chance you can share a bit about his high needs? I am 40 and husband is 43 so I know there are some risks for having a baby with issues.

Thank you and so glad to hear medication helped and things are better for you and your family.

 

[Livebythesea]

I never suffered from depression before, and started suffering from anxiety after my grandfather died when I was 21. I hated the fact that death was something that was outwith my control and that the fact I would've done anything to stop it, couldn't.

Fast forward 3 years to having my son and I felt so alone and trapped with this tiny baby who relied on me for everything. My whole pregnancy it just never really sunk in that I was going to be a mum, kept worrying something bad was going to happen. So when he arrived and was perfect, I was totally shocked. I was in hospital for 10 hours in total before I was discharged.

I really struggled with adapting at first and had a serious lack of family support and not one of my friends came near.

My son then developed severe colic at 2 weeks old and it lasted until he was approx 3 months old. I don't know how many times during this 3 months that I felt like leaving my oh and son. I couldn't handle the 40mins sleep a night, no napping during the day, constant crying. The hoover was my saviour. I used to keep it on for hours at a time as it was the only thing that would stop him crying. I remember being glad that I could tick another day off on the calender as it was another day I had survived being a mum. I spoke to my health visitor about my concerns after I lost 2.5stone in 6 weeks. She told me it was the baby blues and not to be silly.

In hindsight, I was too ashamed to admit that I wasn't coping and that by admitting I felt how I felt made me a terrible mother. I was terrified my son would be taken from me if people knew what I was thinking.

Now, my son is my world. He is so easy to deal with now the colic has gone and we have a great routine. Don't get me wrong, he has his moments and at times I feel all the old anxieties return. But for some reason, being a mum just seemed to click for me at some point. It took a while though, and for that I still feel bad.

If I could give you any advice it would be to speak out if you want to let people know how you're feeling. Don't be afraid. Also, know that you're not the only one who feels the way you do. Places like this are great and I only wish I used this forum so much more in those early months. Good luck xxx

Thank you so much for sharing all you and your family have been through. And thank goodness for the Hoover...I cannot imagine how hard it must be to have a baby with colick!!! I am so happy to hear how things have improved, gives me hope if I do get it.
So happy to have this forum. Many thanks.

 

[sequeena]

I suffered with depression previously (due to things in my childhood, that went to court. I attempted suicide. It was a dark time). My son and I had a rough start. I had a hard pregnancy and almost lost my son. I almost lost my son again when he contracted Sepsis at 2 weeks old.

I had no idea I was unwell again. I broke down in front of my HV when my son was 7 weeks old and it just went from there. I did try anti depressants but I'd started having reactions to them whilst I was pregnant (severe vomiting) and it's stuck with me. I went to a PND group once a week but stopped going because I needed something more one on one. I was able to get counselling through action for children and I went once a week for 7 months. It's made a huge difference.

I still have down days and the last few weeks/months have been especially hard as my son has recently been diagnosed with a disability and has lots of appointments (with more to come in the future) but I'm doing ok. I ask for help now rather than try to do everything myself.

Thank you very much for your post. Can you tell me how you think therapy helped you? I ask this because with each depression I have I feel no way out of whatever the problem is and so no matter how many times someone may tell me that things will get better at the time I ambit reasonable and can't see at all that they will get better. I am sorry about your son's disability but hope you feel as I do now after so many years of trying, that each baby truly is a miracle.

I am terrible at asking for help but am so glad you are able to ask and get help! I would think that would reduce the depression.

I should see if there are groups anywhere that I am or close by.

Thank you

Without going into it too much I was abused as a child/teen which had impacted on every aspect of my life. I didn't even know it was happening. My counselling was primarily for the abuse but helped me with my son too. It made me realise that the safety behaviours I was doing wasn't normal. My counsellor helped me completely change my way of thinking. She helped me realise that it wasn't my fault, and because it wasn't my fault I don't have to go over the top with my son thinking I can do everything myself, I'm the only one who can look after him etc.

Counselling isn't for everyone but I really do suggest that you look into it and stick with it. It is very hard to open up, but it's easier opening up to a stranger x

 

[Livebythesea]

I suffered with depression previously (due to things in my childhood, that went to court. I attempted suicide. It was a dark time). My son and I had a rough start. I had a hard pregnancy and almost lost my son. I almost lost my son again when he contracted Sepsis at 2 weeks old.

I had no idea I was unwell again. I broke down in front of my HV when my son was 7 weeks old and it just went from there. I did try anti depressants but I'd started having reactions to them whilst I was pregnant (severe vomiting) and it's stuck with me. I went to a PND group once a week but stopped going because I needed something more one on one. I was able to get counselling through action for children and I went once a week for 7 months. It's made a huge difference.

I still have down days and the last few weeks/months have been especially hard as my son has recently been diagnosed with a disability and has lots of appointments (with more to come in the future) but I'm doing ok. I ask for help now rather than try to do everything myself.

Thank you very much for your post. Can you tell me how you think therapy helped you? I ask this because with each depression I have I feel no way out of whatever the problem is and so no matter how many times someone may tell me that things will get better at the time I ambit reasonable and can't see at all that they will get better. I am sorry about your son's disability but hope you feel as I do now after so many years of trying, that each baby truly is a miracle.

I am terrible at asking for help but am so glad you are able to ask and get help! I would think that would reduce the depression.

I should see if there are groups anywhere that I am or close by.

Thank you

Without going into it too much I was abused as a child/teen which had impacted on every aspect of my life. I didn't even know it was happening. My counselling was primarily for the abuse but helped me with my son too. It made me realise that the safety behaviours I was doing wasn't normal. My counsellor helped me completely change my way of thinking. She helped me realise that it wasn't my fault, and because it wasn't my fault I don't have to go over the top with my son thinking I can do everything myself, I'm the only one who can look after him etc.

Counselling isn't for everyone but I really do suggest that you look into it and stick with it. It is very hard to open up, but it's easier opening up to a stranger x

Thank you for writing again. My regular therapist has just moved away to another state so I have her referrals for people to help me if I'm in trouble, but probably better to set something up soon.

Thank you very much.

 

[Miss Vintage]

I had a depression that I came out of a couple of years before I had my son. I do have PND. I felt disconnected from my son as soon as he was born, and spent most of my time grieving for my old life, despite him being very much planned and wanted. I recognised it and went to the doctor and got put back on antidepressants. It was the right thing for me, they saved my life (no exaggeration). I'd say that it's definitely not a foregone conclusion that you will get it, but if you do recognise any of the signs, get help, don't wait. I'm sure you know to do that any way.

As for me, my son is 9 months now and we have a great bond. I still have the depression and he's a high needs baby, which doesn't help. But, we're getting through it together and I can see a happy future for us. Good luck, PND is hard, but you can get through it if it comes to that.

I am thinking this might happen to me, feeling disconnected right away from my son - and it don't have mild depressions - I am just gone, no feeling, no smiling, no life - I am not a human..ugh so awful. Any chance you can share a bit about his high needs? I am 40 and husband is 43 so I know there are some risks for having a baby with issues.

Thank you and so glad to hear medication helped and things are better for you and your family.

Hi, well he has had severe reflux from 3 weeks old and has cows milk protein intolerance. This is all mostly under control now with medication/dairy free diet. He is a 'clingy' baby, wakes several times a night and gets screaming hysterical if he is not picked up straight away (it's 2.30 am here and I've just finished rocking him back to sleep after the third wake up of the night). He also hates being away from me during the day, I can put him down but he has to be able to see/touch me or again he gets hysterical. It's hard, but now my depression is being managed I can see that it will probably mean we have a very tight bond in the future. Despite everything, he is a happy, smiley baby, which helps as I was worried my PND would have a negative effect on him, like he could sense I didn't love or want him at first, but this doesn't seem to be the case. I am his favourite person!

 

[Livebythesea]

I had a depression that I came out of a couple of years before I had my son. I do have PND. I felt disconnected from my son as soon as he was born, and spent most of my time grieving for my old life, despite him being very much planned and wanted. I recognised it and went to the doctor and got put back on antidepressants. It was the right thing for me, they saved my life (no exaggeration). I'd say that it's definitely not a foregone conclusion that you will get it, but if you do recognise any of the signs, get help, don't wait. I'm sure you know to do that any way.

As for me, my son is 9 months now and we have a great bond. I still have the depression and he's a high needs baby, which doesn't help. But, we're getting through it together and I can see a happy future for us. Good luck, PND is hard, but you can get through it if it comes to that.

I am thinking this might happen to me, feeling disconnected right away from my son - and it don't have mild depressions - I am just gone, no feeling, no smiling, no life - I am not a human..ugh so awful. Any chance you can share a bit about his high needs? I am 40 and husband is 43 so I know there are some risks for having a baby with issues.

Thank you and so glad to hear medication helped and things are better for you and your family.

Hi, well he has had severe reflux from 3 weeks old and has cows milk protein intolerance. This is all mostly under control now with medication/dairy free diet. He is a 'clingy' baby, wakes several times a night and gets screaming hysterical if he is not picked up straight away (it's 2.30 am here and I've just finished rocking him back to sleep after the third wake up of the night). He also hates being away from me during the day, I can put him down but he has to be able to see/touch me or again he gets hysterical. It's hard, but now my depression is being managed I can see that it will probably mean we have a very tight bond in the future. Despite everything, he is a happy, smiley baby, which helps as I was worried my PND would have a negative effect on him, like he could sense I didn't love or want him at first, but this doesn't seem to be the case. I am his favourite person!

You are giving me much hope - thank you so much! It sounds like you have had a very hard time and your LO too with the reflux and needing his mom so much - but warms my heart that you're both finding your way and so glad you're well and his favorite person

Thank you very much

 

[Miss Vintage]

I had a depression that I came out of a couple of years before I had my son. I do have PND. I felt disconnected from my son as soon as he was born, and spent most of my time grieving for my old life, despite him being very much planned and wanted. I recognised it and went to the doctor and got put back on antidepressants. It was the right thing for me, they saved my life (no exaggeration). I'd say that it's definitely not a foregone conclusion that you will get it, but if you do recognise any of the signs, get help, don't wait. I'm sure you know to do that any way.

As for me, my son is 9 months now and we have a great bond. I still have the depression and he's a high needs baby, which doesn't help. But, we're getting through it together and I can see a happy future for us. Good luck, PND is hard, but you can get through it if it comes to that.

I am thinking this might happen to me, feeling disconnected right away from my son - and it don't have mild depressions - I am just gone, no feeling, no smiling, no life - I am not a human..ugh so awful. Any chance you can share a bit about his high needs? I am 40 and husband is 43 so I know there are some risks for having a baby with issues.

Thank you and so glad to hear medication helped and things are better for you and your family.

Hi, well he has had severe reflux from 3 weeks old and has cows milk protein intolerance. This is all mostly under control now with medication/dairy free diet. He is a 'clingy' baby, wakes several times a night and gets screaming hysterical if he is not picked up straight away (it's 2.30 am here and I've just finished rocking him back to sleep after the third wake up of the night). He also hates being away from me during the day, I can put him down but he has to be able to see/touch me or again he gets hysterical. It's hard, but now my depression is being managed I can see that it will probably mean we have a very tight bond in the future. Despite everything, he is a happy, smiley baby, which helps as I was worried my PND would have a negative effect on him, like he could sense I didn't love or want him at first, but this doesn't seem to be the case. I am his favourite person!

You are giving me much hope - thank you so much! It sounds like you have had a very hard time and your LO too with the reflux and needing his mom so much - but warms my heart that you're both finding your way and so glad you're well and his favorite person

Thank you very much

You're very welcome, I really hope things work out for you xx

 

[teal]

I had postpartum depression. In hindsight it started not long after my son was born but I was scared I was failing and being a bad mother so I kept telling myself I was fine and I'd feel better. When my son was 8 months I just broke down to my health visitor and then my GP who diagnosed PPD. I took antidepressants for 6 months. Then fell apart again, in February 2012 I started AD'S again but this time combined it with counselling. I've stopped the second lot of antidepressants 4 months ago and so far I feel ok.

Counselling helped because it gave me a chance to talk through the traumatic birth and recovery I had.

xx

 

[Livebythesea]

I had postpartum depression. In hindsight it started not long after my son was born but I was scared I was failing and being a bad mother so I kept telling myself I was fine and I'd feel better. When my son was 8 months I just broke down to my health visitor and then my GP who diagnosed PPD. I took antidepressants for 6 months. Then fell apart again, in February 2012 I started AD'S again but this time combined it with counselling. I've stopped the second lot of antidepressants 4 months ago and so far I feel ok.

Counselling helped because it gave me a chance to talk through the traumatic birth and recovery I had.

xx

Thank you. So so glad you are feeling better. 8 months is a long time to go without help. My therapist just moved so I really do need to get a new one. Would you mind sharing, in a PM, about your birth difficulties? I would like to have more info to know possible causes of PPD. If not I totally understand.

Wishing you so much happiness with your son and family. Thank you.

 

[topsy]

I have had depression on and off for the last 12 years and been treated by meds and therapy ( didnt always work!)

I was diagnosed with PND within 2 weeks of LO birth, I was literally crying 24/7 would not go out of the house, did not want to hold LO would give him to anyone else (DH my parents) when he cried as i would cry. I was put on meds again, I just got worse and worse until he was 8 months old and I was diagnosed with severe PND and psychosis and was hospitalized with LO in a mother and baby unit for almost 9 weeks. At that point I barley recognized my baby and husband was suicidal and in a very bad way. I never felt I bonded with Lo and they helped with that and got my medication straight ( at the time) I still have PND now and am being treated at my local mental health hospital, twice a week. Its been a long road and I still have a way to go.

Please if you are worried speak to your health vistor, midwife or dr hun.

I have friends who have had depression and have not had PND so its no way set in stone hun.

take care.

You are so kind to share what you have been through. I would think that this could be my outcome, but yes hope it's not set in stone. I had never heard of being hospitalized with LO. Are you in the US? How are you all doing now? Do you think the biggest help was medication or hard to say? How was it on the baby unit? I was hospitalized for one week during my first depression because I was so worried about everything I literally could not sleep, was not working, lost a bunch of weight and was so out of it I could barely speak or walk.

Thank you so so much for sharing. My friend who's suffered from mild depressions had severe PPD and she said had no connection with LO and husband had to spoon feed her at one point but got medication and it helped a great deal.

Again thank you.

Hey hun, sorry I am in the uk. There are very few mother and baby units over here, i was 2.30-3 hours drive away from home and that was my nearest unit The unit I went to was an amazing place, it was a 6 bed unit for mother and there LO under a year, they said I should have been in there a LOT soon than i was all the other babies were under 4 months. where LO was 8 months when i went in. I didnt have a clue what was going on when i first went in it was a n incredibly tough and sad time in my life. The mother and baby unit gave me my bond back with LO the month before I went in I was doing minimal feeds, baths, naps times. I wasn't being a mummy the medication lessened the psychosis, although I still hear voices now and struggle to care for my LO on my own, I have help everyday through family or carers. It has helped my depression/anxiety but it hasn't gone, I am still having a bumpy time but currently on a med change-which is always up and down. i am seeing my psychologist tomorrow.

This gives a bit of info on mother and baby units in the ukhttp://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/help-and-information/support-services/mother-and-baby-unit.html Sorry not sure if there is anything like that in the US hun.

Just to say some people on the unit had had depression before and had children before and didnt suffer but did on there 2 or 3rd child-there really seems there's not set pattern that anyone will get PND or not.

I am sorry you are going through a divorce, hun that must be tough. Can you make family member aware of the symptoms of PND hun, so IF you do suffer ( fingers crossed you wont) then they know what to look out for sweetie.

xxx

 

[Livebythesea]

I have had depression on and off for the last 12 years and been treated by meds and therapy ( didnt always work!)

I was diagnosed with PND within 2 weeks of LO birth, I was literally crying 24/7 would not go out of the house, did not want to hold LO would give him to anyone else (DH my parents) when he cried as i would cry. I was put on meds again, I just got worse and worse until he was 8 months old and I was diagnosed with severe PND and psychosis and was hospitalized with LO in a mother and baby unit for almost 9 weeks. At that point I barley recognized my baby and husband was suicidal and in a very bad way. I never felt I bonded with Lo and they helped with that and got my medication straight ( at the time) I still have PND now and am being treated at my local mental health hospital, twice a week. Its been a long road and I still have a way to go.

Please if you are worried speak to your health vistor, midwife or dr hun.

I have friends who have had depression and have not had PND so its no way set in stone hun.

take care.

You are so kind to share what you have been through. I would think that this could be my outcome, but yes hope it's not set in stone. I had never heard of being hospitalized with LO. Are you in the US? How are you all doing now? Do you think the biggest help was medication or hard to say? How was it on the baby unit? I was hospitalized for one week during my first depression because I was so worried about everything I literally could not sleep, was not working, lost a bunch of weight and was so out of it I could barely speak or walk.

Thank you so so much for sharing. My friend who's suffered from mild depressions had severe PPD and she said had no connection with LO and husband had to spoon feed her at one point but got medication and it helped a great deal.

Again thank you.

Hey hun, sorry I am in the uk. There are very few mother and baby units over here, i was 2.30-3 hours drive away from home and that was my nearest unit The unit I went to was an amazing place, it was a 6 bed unit for mother and there LO under a year, they said I should have been in there a LOT soon than i was all the other babies were under 4 months. where LO was 8 months when i went in. I didnt have a clue what was going on when i first went in it was a n incredibly tough and sad time in my life. The mother and baby unit gave me my bond back with LO the month before I went in I was doing minimal feeds, baths, naps times. I wasn't being a mummy the medication lessened the psychosis, although I still hear voices now and struggle to care for my LO on my own, I have help everyday through family or carers. It has helped my depression/anxiety but it hasn't gone, I am still having a bumpy time but currently on a med change-which is always up and down. i am seeing my psychologist tomorrow.

This gives a bit of info on mother and baby units in the ukhttp://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/help-and-information/support-services/mother-and-baby-unit.html Sorry not sure if there is anything like that in the US hun.

Just to say some people on the unit had had depression before and had children before and didnt suffer but did on there 2 or 3rd child-there really seems there's not set pattern that anyone will get PND or not.

I am sorry you are going through a divorce, hun that must be tough. Can you make family member aware of the symptoms of PND hun, so IF you do suffer ( fingers crossed you wont) then they know what to look out for sweetie.

xxx

Thank you for the information. I will look into finding out if they're available in the US. My psychologist just moved unfortunately but I have a psychiatrist who prescribes my medicine, when I need it, even though it never works.

It sounds like you are on such a journey to be a good mom. Amazing how hard it can be for some and others don't experience any of it - just like depression or mental illness in general - so unfair that some never experience it and know how hard and truly devastating it can be. I always say that unless you have been through it there is NO POSSIBLE way to understand it.

So glad you have help and wishing you even happier times ahead. Thank you for your posts.