I'm a bit worried about what my parents' reaction will be...

[ILoveShoes]

Hey everyone,

It's me again!

Ok, so, I'm 26 and my husband is 27. We've been married for 2 years, and are officially TTC as of tommorow!!!

We're not going to tell anyone (until there's something to tell...), but I'm really concerned about what my parents will think.

I'm an only child, and I have an amazing relationship with my Mum and Dad, but deep down, I think they still see me as their little girl, and I can't imagine what they would say if I told them I was pregnant!

Also, I'm just about to finish my 2nd year of a 3 year course at college. If I do get pregnant straight away (which I doubt will happen), then I'll defer my 3rd year at college and do it when I'm ready. I'm worried what they'll think about this, because I'm doing really well on my course.

Has anybody else felt like this? Please tell me it's not just me!

Thanks in advance everyone...

 

[DaisyBee]

I bet they will be thrilled - being close to your parents makes it all the more fun for them (once you are pregnant & have a child) Sometimes I think we worry too much about what other people think and not about ourselves. If this is what you and your hubby want then it is right.

 

[surreysharon]

I think you're overthinking it hunni. You're a married woman and the next natural stage in your relationship is to have children. Your parents know this and have their own experience of this as they had you !

Dont give it any more thought. Yes the college course will be deferred maybe but you have to weigh it up what is more important - a baby or the course. My guessing of you being on this site is that it is the first !

Think of it another way - they are clearly proud and have a close bond with you and so you will give them their much adored and cherished grandchild. I bet you this will mean a lot lot more to them than your college course!

Dont worry about it anymore sweetie as they know you lead your own life with your husband now and as long as you include them lots they will be chuffed to bits when you get a BFP

xx

 

[ILoveShoes]

SurreySharon, your post made me well up!
I know you're right; I just needed someone to tell me!
Thank you so much.
xxx

 

[bababas]

I think you are overthinking it also
I had two classmates who were preggers in university. They just went to the classes fully preggers it was cute. Then they gave birth and came back the next week. And sometimes took the baby along to classes. It was no problem in my university. The baby was only sleeping anyway through class, or starring at the teacher.

 

[ILoveShoes]

Hey Bababas!
Really?! Wow! That's amazing!
I may let my course leader know that we are trying, and see what she can suggest...
xxx

 

[MonkeyFeet]

I worry a bit what my mum will think, I'm 25 in a few weeks and her only child, DH is also an only child but we're married and we want a child and I'm sure our parents will be delighted...not sure how we'll tell them though!

 

[surreysharon]

Glad i could be of help and the replies have helped you see that any decision you make will never make them love you less x

Good luck trying x

 

[Crailly]

I'm worried about that too - but for slightly different reasons. My DH and I are not actually married, yet, it will happen, but we made a decision to try to have our first child before we get engaged. We live together, and it is the healthiest, most committed relationship either one of us have ever been in (he is 32 I am 31), but I know that there will be some people who will be a bit disappointed in us for having children before we get married.

What I do know is that this is something that both of us want very much, and we really want to share the love we have for each over with a child. When the time is right, it is right. No one can tell you what to do.

GL to you and me and everyone else - baby dust for us all !

 

[blondeNklutzi]

I worry about the same thing. I have two years left of college, and I'm young (20). My OH and I have decided to start TTC and I'm not sure how my family will respond. On the one hand, I'm sure they will be a bit peeved, but I know they won't stop loving me. Its not like this is an impulse decision and obviously we have discussed all the ramifications of becoming parents and we have decided the time is right for us. I still can't push the thought of my family's reaction out of my head tho.

 

[JayDee]

I think, whatever you think, parents always come round to the idea of having grandchildren. I know a few people who have got pregnant in less than ideal circumstances (v young, not been with OH that long) and parents have come round to the idea pretty quickly.

Sounds like you are all in stable relationships, so hopefully they should all be ok.

Personally, I'm wondering what the parents will say when we have to tell them I'm pregnant given we've been asked a few times recently when we are going to have kids, and have given a non-commital answer, but basically said not yet. Feel bad lying but want it to be between me and OH for now.

 

[ILoveShoes]

We are exactly the same, JayDee! Since we got married, people have always asked us if we would be trying for a baby soon, and we always said 'no.' It's only recently that we feel ready to try. So now, if anybody asks, I guess I'll just be like, "Hmmm, not yet..."
xxx

 

[Freyasmum]

I know everyone has already said it, but I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Your parents are probably secretly wanting desperately to be grandparents - it seems to be the way!
I'm a little nervous about telling people (mostly my mum) this time because we have spent the last 3 years or so telling anyone who'll listen that we're absolutely definitely NOT having any more kids!! Silly, I know, but there it is. I'm sure though that when it comes down to it, my mum will be well excited - or at least I hope so!

 

[JayDee]

ILoveShoes - we are exactly the same - only recently felt ready to look after a baby, my FIL wanted to buy us a cot as a house warming present a couple of years ago when we moved to a bigger house! We got a pet instead!!

Freyasmum - I'm sure you're right, I guess your mum is completely in love with your current daughter, and I'm sure she would be the same with any others that come along...

x

 

[MonkeyFeet]

My response to anyone who asks when we're having children is to say absolutely not yet, I don't want to tell anyone we're TTC and I don't want to announce any pregnancy until I've had the first scan, not even our parents. I know that might be silly and I do feel a bit frightened that if I got pregnant then had a mc it'd be harder to talk about as I'd not told anyone about the pregnancy but I try not to think about that. I just want to keep it all as a precious secret between me and DH. I also don't want the added pressure of anyone else knowing we're TTC!

 

[JayDee]

MonkeyFeet - I agree with you 100%, just hoping that I don't get too many early symptoms - morning sickness etc that people guess before I want to tell them!

 

[mrskx0x0]

My Mum and Dad both said the exact same thing when I told them we were ttc "Can you afford it?". I told them because when I finally announce my I do NOT want them to react with "can you afford it?" because that would kill my mood. lol me and DH work 39 hours a week each, what do they want me to sell a kidney or wait til I'm 54 and the mortgage is paid off? Parents just want to look out for you, it's their job but I bet they will be so happy to hold that bundle of joy when it comes.xxxxx

 

[MonkeyFeet]

If I'm getting symptoms like morning sickness then I suppose people will guess but I still wouldn't tell them myself until I'd had my first scan, let them think what they want!

 

[JayDee]

Yeah - think if that's the case for me, I'll just have eaten lots of dodgy take aways or something - ha ha
I am, however, hoping that I don't get morning sickness cos I really really hate throwing up (I'm sure there aren't many people that enjoy it but I REALLY hate it)

 

[imsoupset]

hi

dont worry i think like that all the time, me and my OH are just wtc at the minute and when the times right an we do ttc i'm also worried what my mum will think as im the youngest of 3 so im still the little girl in her eyes. but at the end of the day i think she'll be really pleased with another grandchild - and a little worn out as she has 4 at the minute all around the same age. try not to worry too much, im sure it will be fine.