I'm baaaaack...1DPO

[doctorsookie]

So I was so exhausted this morning I didn't wash my hair. this will be day three since I washed it. Its limp and oily and just hanging there. A coworker/friend sees me in the hall and told me I looked great. What? Seriously? I actually said these word because I feel like crap. At the time she saw me I felt like I was moving very slowly to keep my stomach calmed. The only thing I've been able to eat and not feel nauseas is crackers. Its probably all the crap I ate last night: half a dozen chocolate mini donuts, a medium Oreo peanut butter milkshake, two chili dogs with cheese, four mozzarella cheese sticks, and a load of chips. I don't know what got into me...bit I'm hoping its a baby. LOL

 

[Dill]

Oh my goodness, I'd be nauseous after eating all that, too, haha!

 

[doctorsookie]

I still don't have any desire to eat. But I know I need to. My tummy is grumbling. I might have some oatmeal.

 

[Dill]

Oatmeal is a great plan. It will help your tummy in all sorts of ways.

 

[doctorsookie]

Well my temp dropped to 97.5 today. It was staying high and I had hopes but now...

 

[doctorsookie]

Well I saw some blood on the TP today. I'm out.
UPDATE: pencil eraser sized clot in toilet. It was a salmon color. With my crazy irregular periods I had been noticing a bit of a pattern and suspected AF would be coming around cycle day 21-25 this month. well, today is CD 23.

 

[Dill]

So sorry you're out this cycle! At least you had a short cycle. Hopefully they'll stay on the shorter side and that'll help you conceive sooner.

 

[doctorsookie]

Actually, we are taking a break. I am so stressed out with work and planning the wedding. I told Kevin the other day if we didn't concevie this month, we would just wait until we are married to actively try again. If it happens, then it happens, but honestly I think my baby days are behind me. I waited too long, or rather Kevin waited too long to decide there is no perfect time. I've been ready for four years and told him so four years ago but...oh well; but it did pain me a bit to see how agreeable he was to wait. Good luck to you and your precious sticky bean. thank you for all your support.

 

[Dill]

I have faith that it's not over for you yet! When is the wedding?

 

[doctorsookie]

Not till August.

 

[Dill]

Ohhh. Maybe you'll be one of those people that gets pregnant straight away once you quit trying.

Will you still be hanging out around B&B?

 

[doctorsookie]

If it doesn't depress me too much. I know I'm taking a gamble waiting...even my doctor says I should do it soon. But what am I gonna do? I'm totally stressing out but the thought of NOT trying stresses me too. Sigh...

 

[Dill]

As long as the two of you are still DTD 2 to 3 times per week, it's just as good.

 

[doctorsookie]

little confused now. Temp back up to 97.9 this morning. My cervix is still medium medium medium and haven't had any more spotting since passing that little clot.

 

[doctorsookie]

I'm so freaking moody and depressed today. Wedding plans fell apart again. I'm giving up. I have no help and Kevin hadnt even told his patents we are engaged. I have zero support trying to plan this thing. So the way it is looking is no baby and no wedding. Just the way he probably always wanted it. He could really care less as long as i am not bitching about it. he only ever is supportive of i get upset

 

[doctorsookie]

AF is here. Apparently BBT and cervical checking are pointless for me.

 

[Dill]

I'm so sorry.

 

[doctorsookie]

So I've been having spotting and very light flow for five days now. It's been going from bright spotting to brown nasty looking discharge. Looks like a long cycle this month. One of those months where I'm unsure of I should be counting this as my period at all. I had a little flow on day two but that's it. Just spotting mostly. Anything that is on the pad is just brown discharge. When I wipe sometimes its pink and other times red...mostly nothing at all. I'm afraid this might be perimenopause. My mom went through it 29. I got a few more years than jet and I wasted them. :'(