I'm falling apart...

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by FemmeFatal, Dec 27, 2009.

  1. FemmeFatal

    FemmeFatal Wishing he were here.

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2009
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    0
    This has been by far the worst holiday I could possibly have.

    OH and I drove to Ohio to visit my family for Christmas Eve and the few days before. The second day we were there we had gone out for a late lunch with my grandparents after doing some unfruitful shopping. OH and I both had a shrimp dish, though I managed to be the one to get food poisoning. It lasted through the rest of our visit and the eight hour drive home on Christmas Eve. We finally made it home around 1:30-ish Christmas morning and I had to be to work at seven and a half hours later which wasn't too bad. I came straight up to bed at OH's insisting while he brought in the main portion of our things. I wasn't asleep too long before I was running to the bathroom to toss what little I had managed to put into my stomach on the way home. I was in and out of the bathroom for the next few hours. At seven I just gave up and OH got up to lay on the couch and watch t.v. with me. I decided to still go to work as I felt bad for wanting to call in since I had rearranged my work schedule so that I could see my family. My shift was supposed to be from nine to six, but as I wasn't feeling so well and making frequent trips to the bathroom they allowed to me to leave at 1:30. OH was at his parents house visiting them when I texted him to come pick me up. He was going to bring me over there for dinner since I was getting out early. This would be the first time I would meet his parents, since they are incredibly antisocial and had no real interest in meeting me. By 2:00 OH still hadn't come by to get me. I was texting him, calling him... no answer. I figured he just hadn't left when he said he was on his way and his phone was on silent while he was at his parents. A few minutes later a car pulls up and opens the door to me. At first it didn't click into my head who it was. It was his grandfather. After I got in the car he told me that Tony had been in an accident on the way to get me. My heart fell, I wanted to cry but I couldn't allow it until I knew what condition he was in. We drove past the accident and OH was nowhere to be found. The other car had already been taken away. His car was a mess. The whole passenger side pushed in and just totaled. We pulled off to the side of the road and I got out and ran to the fireman that were still waiting at the scene to ask where the driver had been taken. They weren't sure which hospital he had been taken to but he was headed to the hospital. We called OH's father and found out where they were headed since OH chose to ride there with him instead of in the ambulance. We both pulled in one right behind the other. I ran to help OH out of the car and started bawling instantly. He keeps telling me it's not my fault, but it feels far from. If I had just stayed at work a little while longer and finished out my shift this never would have happened. Other than being bruised with a few cuts on his right hand from the passenger door being pushed all the way into to his side of the car he is fine. The fact that he was alright was such a relief. If only that were the end of it. It should have ended with him coming home and all being well again, but that's not how it's going. He's staying at his parents house for the next long while. They're discussing whether or not I will be able to move in here, but they aren't going to allow him to move back here with me and since they are helping him fix this whole mess, they call the shots. There are a lot more details as to why they are calling the shots that I just don't have the time or energy to go into at the moment. So they dropped me off late last night after we all had dinner and watched a movie together. It was a pleasant end of the night, but it still didn't change the fact that I came home alone, to our bed. I slept in his clothes with a pile of them next to me and I just couldn't sleep. To top it all off we were supposed to get married this morning, nothing special just a few friends down at the courthouse, but it was something I was looking forward to. Now it's been postponed till god knows when. *sigh* Merry Christmas to me.
     
  2. goddess25

    goddess25 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2008
    Messages:
    11,262
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sorry to hear you had such a bad day! It sounds awful, I am so glad your OH is fine. DId not want to read and run hun, I have no real advice apart from i hope you are feeling better soon.
     
  3. FemmeFatal

    FemmeFatal Wishing he were here.

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2009
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you. I suppose there really isn't any advice to be offered. I just need to get it out some how. My head is a mess. I just want him back where he belongs.
     
  4. Amygdala

    Amygdala Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2009
    Messages:
    6,499
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sorry to hear you had such a bad time! But how can his parents tell him where to live? I assume that you share the flat you're in? He needs to put his foot down about that one!
     
  5. Essie

    Essie Very proud mummy

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2008
    Messages:
    3,434
    Likes Received:
    0
    Didn't want to read and run. I don't have any words of advice, I'm glad your OH is okay but I'm sorry the living situation is such a mess. I hope you find a solution soon.
     
  6. KA92

    KA92 Guest

    Hug sorry you've had a bad few days,but glad to hear your oh is okay.cx
     
  7. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2008
    Messages:
    1,022
    Likes Received:
    0
    So sorry to hear ur feeling like this...

    firstly Im so glad to hear ur OH is well!!!

    Secondly, ur OH's accident wasnt your fault. Its just one of those things that just happened unfortunately, seriously dont go blaming urself about that else you'll get yourself into a horrible state chick! it was not ur fault u were ill... blame the naughty fish restaurant i say!!

    Thirdly, I presume you share the flat? If so you're OH needs to really talk to his parents about coming back. Its not really fair that you had to go home on ur own, theres no way I would ever do that to anyone, especially when their main concern is their OH who's just been in an accident... sending you home alone was abit ( in my opinion) selfish, and harsh!

    Fourthly, im so sorry to hear about ur wedding plans as well... I bet your OH is feeling just as down as you are about the situation. I really hope you get to see him today and get things sorted out with his parents... In laws can be difficult sometimes, but try to remember that they only have his best interests at heart. I really do hope things pick up for you hun, I really do.

    :hugs: :hugs:

    Lou
     
  8. needausername

    needausername Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2009
    Messages:
    4,439
    Likes Received:
    9
    Not sure what the background of the whole situation but I hope everything gets sorted out.

    As for the accident....definitely not your fault so don't you be blaming yourself.
     
  9. FemmeFatal

    FemmeFatal Wishing he were here.

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2009
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    0
    I really appreciate the kind words from all of you. I know the accident wasn't my fault, it was the other driver's fault for barreling through the yellow light. It just feels as though I could have done something to prevent it. I felt alright enough to stay just a little while longer so it feels like something I could have done to prevent this. When something happens to someone so close to you, most of us look at the situation and think of what we could have done to prevent it.

    We don't live in our own flat, we rent with a couple of his friends. As for his parents, they are a little hurt at the moment. While he was in the hospital getting checked some information came out that he had been keeping from them. A couple of months ago he lost his teaching position at the college. He wasn't fired and is more than welcome to have his position back once he finishes his degree. Trying to be a man, he wanted to sort this whole thing out without telling his parents. Prove to them that he can take care of himself. I'm working so there is stable income to keep us afloat. Since this information slipped his parents are trying to help in the only way they know how, by taking over. If he moves back home they'll help him get his schooling finished so that he can not only get his job back, but get it as a full time position which pays a great deal more.

    I saw OH today and we discussed some of what is going on. He is talking to his parents about me moving in there. He's waiting for the right moment to tell them we plan to get married rather than us just setting a date again. I've been invited over for New Year's and he plans to make sure I am over there more as I only just met them on Christmas. OH is trying to be as logical as he possibly can in this situation. If they allow me to stay there with them we won't have to pay rent and will be able to save up for the house we were hoping to purchase, though if I'm not moved in there soon he won't stay there regardless of their help because he doesn't want to stay without me. For now it's just a waiting game. He's found a way for the four of us to bond over a common interest which will aid in the getting to know each other stage.

    He's trying to do the right thing and I can't blame him. It's just really hard to handle. He tells me to be strong for him, but when it comes to something like this, being strong is the most difficult thing to do. I'm not the only one hurting. I think what hurts the most is watching this otherwise strong and stubborn Italian break down in my arms. Daily life just isn't the same without him in my way.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice