I'm having my first ultrasound next week and I'm scared to death :(

[Rei]

My last and first pregnancy ended in mc and I didn't find out till my first appointment at 8 weeks when they did the ultrasound. I had a bad feeling because I started bleeding at 6 weeks bright red, but everyone told me not to worry and to get excited for my ultrasound. So I did. I remember being so excited to see my little baby for the first time, except it was a blighted ovum and all we saw was emptiness. I was absolutely devastated. I had never been so depressed and heartbroken in my life.

This pregnancy my doctor is doing things differently because of what happened last time. She has taken blood almost every other day for about two weeks now and they are rising like they should so she scheduled me for an ultrasound next week. I know she warned me that we might not see a heartbeat yet (I will be 6+1 weeks) and not to get discouraged but I'm so nervous she will give me bad news again. >.>;
I'm so scared I'm gonna start bleeding bright red soon and I'll lose this baby and see an empty sac T_T

 

[bcos21]

I'm so sorry this happened to you! I can definitely understand your anxiousness. I haven't been through this myself but wanted to send hugs. I've heard it's very rare to have a blighted ovum again and your Dr doesn't seem worried (easy for them to do!) I hope this scan puts you at ease.

 

[gaiagirl]

It's normal to be worried! But I will say I've never known anyone IRL who has had 2 blighted ovum in a row. In fact, I don't even have any friends who have had 2 MC of any kind in a row. Repeat losses really are not very common. You have a lot on your side

 

[Rei]

Thank you ladies very much! I'm slowly starting to get excited about it XD I'm just nervous and I think I will always be nervous until at least my second trimester lol

 

[bcos21]

I know how hard it can be. I was fortunate that my first pregnancy was pretty much textbook but this one... My dh made an off the cuff remark about a miscarriage and I had some spotting I didn't have with the first and I cannot shake the feeling something bad is going to happen. We worry about our kids even when they are teeny tiny.

 

[Rei]

Bcos21 that is so true! I told my mom that if this pregnancy is successful it's probably going to be a girl because she is already stressing me out XD

 

[_Meep_]

This happened to me a long time ago (over a decade, actually). I had a blighted ovum too which caused me to have a missed miscarriage, meaning my body thought it was still pregnant, and carried on doing everything it should - only at my first scan, there was nothing there. It took a few weeks from that day for my body to get the message and expel the pregnancy.

I was 17 and emotionally unequipped to deal with any of it, and it was awful every day for the longest time, but now when I think about it, it isn't with the same hurt and emptiness that was there before. I have beautiful 16.5 month old girl now, and while I don't like to think of her as a 'replacement', she is everything I could have dreamed of and more.

I was very frightened throughout the first trimester, and no doctor would agree to give me an early ultrasound on the basis of just one previous MC, so I had to wait until I was 12 weeks ... but she was there, and perfectly formed, kicking and squiggling all over the screen. It was (apart from her birth) one of THE BEST experiences of my life.

I truly thought it was going to happen to me again. It didn't.

Good good good luck.

 

[Rei]

Thank you so much _Meep_
I am very sorry that happened to you but I am glad you have a healthy baby girl now. I'm hoping and praying every day that I will see a little bean on this scan. She told me not to be too disappointed if I don't see a heart beat but she just wants to start measuring things. But I'm REALLY hoping I see a heartbeat. It will put my mind at ease

 

[_Meep_]

I hope you get to see the heartbeat! By the time we went for our first scan, I had managed to pick her heartbeat up on my home doppler - I think I was about 11 weeks at that point - so I knew she was alive. But I was still scared she would die before we got there. I think it's natural when you have had a bad experience - it just reminds you how quickly everything can go wrong, and there will be worry and anxiety at every stage, but it does get easier the longer that baby stays in your belly. Still, by the time his/her bum has been lodged somewhere between your liver and your neck for weeks on end, you'll be dying for it to come out lol.

 

[jenmcn1]

I will be saying a prayer for you...not easy to go through at all.
When it comes to your u/s and it being that early...If you don't see the heartbeat on the screen right away, hold your breath. Literally. I'm on baby #4, with my first baby I was only 5w6d and they could barely see my son, so the technician told me to hold my breath. Sure enough:..there was the little flicker of the heart.
So with this baby I'm currently pregnant with, I went into the ER with bleeding, they did a quick u/s at only 6 weeks, and they thought they could see something but not sure, so without hesitation I held my breath..:the doctor said...ohhhh there's the heartbeat.
I'm just putting this out there, doesn't mean you will for sure see something that early if you old your breath but it's a little tip to help
Hang in there mama...hugs

 

[Rei]

Thank you ladies so much ^_^
jenmcn1 I have never heard of that but you better believe I will try it XD Thank you so much for telling me about that.