Im looking for a little info on home births, please?

[Louise]

I really DONT wanna go to the hospital, that's one thing I am dreading majorly.
So it's meant to be the safest place, but for me it would make my anxiety ten times worse.
I spoke to my MW about this, asked her if she could be at the hospital to deliver my baby, she said she only does home births to which I then asked if I could go with that!
She didnt recommend it but said if I feel I really cant go to the hospital then we will discuss it at my next appointment.
She feels I wont be able to cope with a home birth, though I believe it would totally put my mind at ease if someone I know, and have gotten to know over the course of my pregnancy, is there to deliver the baby, and not just some random MW's working at the hospital.
Home births for a first time mother are generally a no no, right? but has anyone here ever given birth at home with their first baby?
I wouldn't mind going to the hospital AFTER I have delivered Nicky, (though I know thats defeating the object a little), I just wanna feel 'safe' whilst Im in labour, and comfortable with the people around me. If Im in the hospital I just know Im going to freak out.
MW thinks it's slightly contradictory that I would be willing to get checked over after giving birth in my home, but I guess it's each to their own.
Just wondering if any of you ladies can give me some adivce and shed some light on how home births work.
Thank you.​

 

[ablaze]

arent you getting induced?

 

[Louise]

arent you getting induced?

Obstertrician said at my last appointment that if I havent given birth by 38 weeks, then they will see me and discuss on the day if Im to have an induction, yes. But I dont wish to go into hospital, this is the thing. I dunno what it is but I have a fear of dr's. I need to feel comfortable, so I would prefer to go 2 weeks over if it meant being at home for the birth of Nicky, rather than being induced.
Gillian is also having the same discussion at her 38 week appointment too. ​

 

[ablaze]

https://www.homebirth.org.uk/

tht site has alot of info on 1st time home births

how would your dad feel if u had a home birth?

 

[Louise]

https://www.homebirth.org.uk/

tht site has alot of info on 1st time home births

how would your dad feel if u had a home birth?

He's not keen on the idea and said he would simply have to go out or atleast stand outside every few hours or so.. not many people are keen on me having baby at home, but its about comfort really.
Thank you so muh for the link, I'll take a look in a mo. x x x

 

[Wobbles]

Kina had a home birth She might spot the topic & be filled with some info for you x

 

[ablaze]

whos going to be your birthing partner if you dont mind me asking?

 

[Louise]

whos going to be your birthing partner if you dont mind me asking?

Without going into too much detail and boring you all on the forum. I havent got anyone.
In my family theres just me and my dad (whos actually my grandfather biologically) so if it seems kinda strange that I would give birth with my dad in the house, you know why. Theres nobody else in my family.
Well theres my dad's son (my adoptive brother so-to-speak)whos actually my uncle lol, but we wont go into that.​

 

[Louise]

Kina had a home birth She might spot the topic & be filled with some info for you x

Hi wobs LOVING your signature. It's very 'girly'. OBVIOUSLY LOL​

 

[ablaze]

do u not have a close friend who could be there for you?

 

[Louise]

do u not have a close friend who could be there for you?

I do but She lives in skegness and has her own family.
I did actually want my dad to be there, whether it be in hospital or not- but everyone thought it was kinda strange; but what they dont understand is, there is nobody else. He's been a mum, dad, grandma and grandad to me, all in one.
I have a great aunt, but she stopped talking to me when i got pregnant because she cant have kids. Kinda harsh huh?​

 

[ablaze]

can you not tell ur dad this then? ull need support hun, giving birth is very emotinal

 

[Louise]

can you not tell ur dad this then? ull need support hun, giving birth is very emotinal

Oh he knows. I have had the discussion with him about going into hospital. He said he doesnt like the thought of seein any of his family in agony, but if need be he would be there but prefer to wait outside the room. Like I told everyone else who thought it was strange to have him there, aslong as he stays at the top end of the bed, it's fine... but still.
If I have baby at home, and dad stays in the living room, aslong as my MW is there its ok because I know her. But if im in hospital and I dont know ANY of the people who are around me, and my dad is waiting outside the room, I will panic.​

 

[ablaze]

but ur mw isnt there to support u, shes there 2 get the baby out, u need someone who can reassure u an egg u on!

 

[Louise]

but ur mw isnt there to support u, shes there 2 get the baby out, u need someone who can reassure u an egg u on!

Then I guess I'm kinda on my own.
I can understand its going to be a little uncomfortable for my dad though, as it would any father whos seeing his 22 year old daughter giving birth.
I'm sure i'll be alright, as long as theres someone around me who I know... ​

 

[ablaze]

could you not try talking to him again? as u said, if hes at top end then hell just be supporting u an helpin u breathe etc

 

[Louise]

could you not try talking to him again? as u said, if hes at top end then hell just be supporting u an helpin u breathe etc

He did say he would be there if theres absolutely no body else willing to help me, but it wont be very nice for him which is understandable. I mean bless him, hes 62.
This was one of the main reasons I had been pushing and pushing for a C-Section, because I know I cant do it on my own, so it's best to just get me into an operating theatre, though again, MW seems to think that Im failing to understand esactly what goes into performing a c-section. But in my mind I just want it painless and over with ASAP (as im sure many people do) I'll deal with the aftermath when Nicky is out.
Sorry to waffle on by the way! x​

 

[ablaze]

im sure ull find outmore on ur 38 week appt!

would u not feel uncomfortable going into hosp for c section tho? as u wud b in hosp longer as they need 2 keep an eye on u etc

 

[KX]

Trust me ur fear of hospitals will go out the window as soon as these contractions come fast and furious, ur main aim will be get Nicky out!

I agree a home birth would be nice, but I definitley am glad I had my 1st in hospital, and will be having the 2nd there too. I just simply couldnt stand the pain, but was told this was partly due to being induced and becky was back to back.

We suffered some complications so it was a relief to be at hospital and that is why they recommend ur 1st in hospital.

Kina has a lovely story re Alex, but Im sure Ella her 1st was delivered in hospital round Christmas time.x

 

[Louise]

im sure ull find outmore on ur 38 week appt!

would u not feel uncomfortable going into hosp for c section tho? as u wud b in hosp longer as they need 2 keep an eye on u etc

yup, I sure would. But what can I do? Im being refused a section because they say its not a good enough reason, yet when I go into labour, if I start having panick attacks, it can affect the baby so I just cannot win. May aswel just bite the bullet and get on with it havent I?nay-mind! x​