I've started telling Joseph a little story about when he was born and he really likes it, he can even tell it back to me now (in his fashion). I say "It was eight o clock in the morning and Mummy's water went swoosh, so Daddy took her to the hospital and Mummy said aw aw aw and the nurses said push push push and Mummy said aw aw and the nurses said push push and then the doctor came in and said POP! And there you were!" Joseph tells it back to me as I am saying it with all the swoosh-aw-push-pop words and the final "there you were." It's very cute. Tonight my mum heard me telling it to him and that got us talking about everything that happened on the night he was born and she has told me something I didn't know and it's made me really angry. His was quite a difficult birth, my waters broke at 8am on Monday and Joseph was finally born at 2:02am on Tuesday and then only because a doctor finally came and gave me an episiotomy. By that time I was away with the fairies and so I don't remember much about it. What I do remember is one of the nurses getting a bit funny with me and telling me that I had to push harder because I "wasn't helping my baby" and that my baby was getting distressed because I wasn't pushing hard enough. By this point I was exhausted and slipping in and out of a daze where I wasn't aware of what was going on. She really upset me because I felt like she was saying that if Joseph died during his birth it would be my fault. I mean, they did all know we had lost two babies so she should have known I was trying my best to help get Joseph out. I honestly couldn't feel anything except pain, you know how you can feel the muscles when you push, well I couldn't feel them anymore, I had no idea if I was pushing or not. Anyway I do remember that but what I didn't know is that this same nurse was horrible to my mum after Joseph was finally born. He was very squashed and probably dazed himself and he wasn't crying. So my mum asked if he was alright and this nurse said "Well, obviously, he's pink isn't he!?" in a really nasty tone. I can't believe she would be so nasty when she knew what we had been through before and I am furious now that she got away with saying that to us. I want to go back in time and slap her! I know it's almost two years ago but still, I'm angry about it now I know about it.