I'm really fed up

[beancounter]

I'm so tired of hearing people's opinions being stated as fact.
You know, the people who feel obliged to come up to you and tell you for no obvious reason how you body will change and never be the same, or how your baby will act and how you are going to feel and just generally seem to gain some kind of mysterious benefit by trying to upset you with lies and crap.

HOW DO THEY KNOW?
Do they have some amazing predictive powers?

Or do the genuinely believe I am going to give birth to *their* child and then just completely alter my personality and become them because I have had a baby?

I'm in such a bad mood today

 

[codex]

I am with you on this one. I HATE when people say or that body will not be there after baby and wait till baby is up crying all night or sick etc they just seem to like to say bad things to make themselves feel better. No baby is alike and neither is any mom/dad so they should just mind their business.

try not to let them get to you too much or just say..."oh really...I though I would look like twiggy after babe is born and sleep all night" sometimes cheeky works ha ha ha it did with this one lady that tried to get that way with me.

 

[Dragonfly]

Yep had a mate who used to go on like this untiil i fell out with her, I m glad I did as I was getting sick of hearing the negitive crap sprouting from her mouth. She believes she is righ,. she is the pregnant martyre and supermum. She aint all that! her kids are brats that smash my house up yet she feels the need to tell me my kids will be like hers, am i sure i know what i am doing (bet late now for that talk ffs!) your life is over now, you will never sleep again, say bye bye to ever leaving the house or even going to the loo, you have all this to look forward to (while her kid smashes my xbox controllers because he isnt happy at loosingor not getting what he wants) or at the same time saying that while her kids who has been caught at 13 years old takes drugs just like its bloody dad does in front of him! GRRRRR!
why do they assume you will make the same mistakes as they did? why do they assume all kids are brats like theirs? why is it such a chore if they didnt want bloody kids they should have used contraceptive not spread around the crap of how awful it is when its a godsend that you can have kids when there are people out there TTC that cant! appreciate what you have ffs!
oh yeah and the fav one was "oh its going to get much worse" thanks!

and breath! thats my rant for the day.

 

[beancounter]

I am with you on this one. I HATE when people say or that body will not be there after baby and wait till baby is up crying all night or sick etc they just seem to like to say bad things to make themselves feel better. No baby is alike and neither is any mom/dad so they should just mind their business.

try not to let them get to you too much or just say..."oh really...I though I would look like twiggy after babe is born and sleep all night" sometimes cheeky works ha ha ha it did with this one lady that tried to get that way with me.

Heh.
the next person to start a sentence with 'just you wait' gets a poke in the eye.
I'm whittlin my pokin stick right now.

 

[VicLl]

One of my friends said to me the other day "just wait til you've got two of them, one is easy but two of them is really hard work" and "when your husbands on nights you are going to really struggle." It really annoys me too, we'll find out for ourselves. Having kids is hard work but it's also the greatest job in the world. Why don't they talk about the positives, I think it's revenge for all the people that said the same to them. XXX

 

[beancounter]

Yep had a mate who used to go on like this untiil i fell out with her, I m glad I did as I was getting sick of hearing the negitive crap sprouting from her mouth. She believes she is righ,. she is the pregnant martyre and supermum. She aint all that! her kids are brats that smash my house up yet she feels the need to tell me my kids will be like hers, am i sure i know what i am doing (bet late now for that talk ffs!) your life is over now, you will never sleep again, say bye bye to ever leaving the house or even going to the loo, you have all this to look forward to (while her kid smashes my xbox controllers because he isnt happy at loosingor not getting what he wants) or at the same time saying that while her kids who has been caught at 13 years old takes drugs just like its bloody dad does in front of him! GRRRRR!
why do they assume you will make the same mistakes as they did? why do they assume all kids are brats like theirs? why is it such a chore if they didnt want bloody kids they should have used contraceptive not spread around the crap of how awful it is when its a godsend that you can have kids when there are people out there TTC that cant! appreciate what you have ffs!
oh yeah and the fav one was "oh its going to get much worse" thanks!

and breath! thats my rant for the day.

It kind of makes you want to say
'Really? I don't know anyone else that happened to? Perhaps you are just cursed??'

 

[beancounter]

One of my friends said to me the other day "just wait til you've got two of them, one is easy but two of them is really hard work" and "when your husbands on nights you are going to really struggle." It really annoys me too, we'll find out for ourselves. Having kids is hard work but it's also the greatest job in the world. Why don't they talk about the positives, I think it's revenge for all the people that said the same to them. XXX

i promise I am not going to say those thinks to pregnant people in revenge, because although I am a stick poky rage machine at the moment, I am not a barsteward. I don't see how being so negative helps either party, to be honest.

 

[VicLl]

Nor do I! Who needs it? xx

 

[Dragonfly]

bean counter what a great answer! lol

and the "just you wait " part wtf is that all about? my best friend dosnt even say that to me ffs and this other girl done nothing but tell me that.

I think some just want to bring you down , why say that to someone who is having a baby and its maent to be a happy time?

 

[o0oCharlieo0o]

lol i got this all the tim when i was pregnant with brendan, how hed be up screaming all night for months, and be a little terror blah blah!! he has been an angel, he slept 6 hours through the night at just 2 weeks old! and hardly ever cried! just ignore it hun i know its hard but they have no idea what they are talking about, every baby is different

 

[enigma]

I have an 'in one ear out the other' policy going on, people tell me this and that, but i just ignore them.

 

[mummymadness]

Sorry you feel crappy today hun **Hugs** .
Some people just love to be opinionated and cannot help it , I think they genuinly dont see how negative they are been and should learn no matter how hard to tell expectant mothers its the most prescious beautifull person in the world your child , And allthow hard lifes much better with your child .. Either say that or just learn to shut there gobs lol . xxx .

 

[mellllly]

Yes I know what you mean.

I get the 'your house wont be this tidy when the baby comes/grows up'
And that comes from my SIL who has 2 little brats (aged 3 and 6), who herself doesnt get up at weekends until around midday whilst her husband is at work, letting devil children run free from 6am!

O M G !!

They obviously do not know me!!! I am a clean freak! Almost OCD!
So yes it will be clean and yes it will be tidy!

Grr makes me angry, we will work it out for ourselves when/if it happens!
Rant Over!

 

[Logiebear]

Hun I hope you are feeling better now. People always try to piss on your chips and they will carry on doin it just don't let get to you and smile and walk away xxx

 

[Hevz]

Coz mine are 6, 4, 10months and Smudge is busy....people say "rather you thn me" or "you'll be busy"


Yep....rather me than you and I will be busy,but I'll have 4 times the gorgeous kids and never ending cuddles and kisses

 

[Shifter]

Sorry to hear you had a crappy day yesterday hun

I haven't had this really, apart from one girl trying to scare me about the labour. She said she was trying to prepare me, which I think is what these obnoxious people believe they are doing. But it doesn't "prepare" anyone.

I think we all know the realities of labour and parenting, but most of us knew what we were doing when we got pregnant! Every baby and every parent is different. We all handle things in different ways and have our own ideas about how to do things.

My house is a terrible mess atm, and not just because we're getting ready to move, but I am so unbelievably determined to turn it around and have a nice tidy home for when bubs arrives. I see my SIL's place and cringe so much, there's no way I'm letting that happen! People can say it's inevitable when you have kids, but it clearly isn't as my house when I was growing up wasn't like that... I had a bloody toy cupboard!

 

[beancounter]

i think it started before I got pregnant, people said some pretty mean stuff to me. About how I shouldn't have a child if I am mentally ill (the person that said that was schizophrenic and had two kids but apparently THAT was ok). And yesterday someone was basically telling me I would never be able to wear a strappy top again, though even if my boobs never went down, I see people with D cups and beyond wearing strappy tops and I don't get why she thought I was intrested in her opinion anyway.

As you've all said, I think we have a grasp of the process in hand, It's not like I thought all babies were delivered by a stork and came complete with nanny. I'm 31 and i have a PhD old enough to make my own choices but I still get treated like a child-idiot, especially cos i look young.

thanks for all your answers they have helped

 

[Shifter]

i think it started before I got pregnant, people said some pretty mean stuff to me. About how I shouldn't have a child if I am mentally ill (the person that said that was schizophrenic and had two kids but apparently THAT was ok). And yesterday someone was basically telling me I would never be able to wear a strappy top again, though even if my boobs never went down, I see people with D cups and beyond wearing strappy tops and I don't get why she thought I was intrested in her opinion anyway.

People can say some very ignorant things about mental illnesses and depression etc.

Besides, Bravissimo do wonderful strappy tops with full bras concealed in them and even before I descovered those I would just wear a bra witha strappy top, like most women! I don't care if the straps show.

As you've all said, I think we have a grasp of the process in hand, It's not like I thought all babies were delivered by a stork and came complete with nanny. I'm 31 and i have a PhD old enough to make my own choices but I still get treated like a child-idiot, especially cos i look young.

thanks for all your answers they have helped

Happy to help

 

[sophie c]

i know how you feel, i work with kids with disabilities and they can often behave really badly which does stress me out sometimes ill walk out the room and be like *grrrrrrrrr* and some other member of staff feels the need to say something like "hey you'll be having one like this sooon soph so atleast you can get away from this atm just you wait, they'll be screaming like that too" and im like "did i ask for your fooking opinion about what my own child will be like FFS!!!" lol


xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[pennysbored]

You mean, my life won't be the same? EVER? I thought I could just treat my LO like a dolly, to be put away when I was bored, and that I was going to not only bounce bak to where I was, but back to when I was 17?
I wish someone would have warned me......

Jeez, sometimes, people who state the obvious piss me right off.