I'm really scared... Of everything!

[AlwaysDreamin]

I'm finding it all quite difficult.

Don't get me wrong, I'm so incredibly happy to be expecting our first baby and I really can't wait to be a mom.

But I'm terrified of everything.
I'm nearly 8 weeks pregnant and I've barely had chance to come to terms with everything.

I'm scared of hospitals... I've never been admitted myself, the only times I've really been there was to visit my best friend who sadly passed away.

I'm scared of having something growing inside me... Even though its an amazing thing.

Most of all, I'm terrified of giving birth. Absolutely horrendously terrified.

I've mentioned before how I was scared of the birth. But my fears aren't going anywhere soon... If anything it's getting worse.

I got my first letter from the hospital yesterday for my first scan. There was a pregnancy booklet in there... And after reading it, it's completely freaked me out.

I feel so ridiculous and horrible for feeling like this, especially so early on in my pregnancy. I should be looking forward to everything, but instead I want the weeks to drag so I have more time to get my head around it.
I'm worried about how much stress and anxiety I'm feeling... What if it affects my baby?

Did anyone else feel like this with their first?

I keep telling myself 'well it can't be that bad because women wouldn't have more kids if it was' Lol.

I'm sorry for the long post, and I do apologise if this offends anyone as I understand women on here have experienced losses... I feel so selfish for feeling this way xx

 

[vixie27]

Don't feel selfish!! I'm pregnant with baby 6 but have had 3 losses so this will be baby 3. I've already thought oh god labour again but I don't know why I have been lucky really. I was only 20 when I had my son I didn't have a clue what to expect. I thought I would be in labour days and need lots of stitches. I got my ass up of that bed and walked my whole labour. 5 hours 11 minutes from start to finish and not 1 stitch. Of course it hurt like nothing before but was a good pain I was going to meet my baby. My second labour was only 3 hours and 6 minutes and not a stitch.

Everyone gets nervous especially first time mums you have the what if I don't wake in the night when my baby cries, what if my baby doesn't like me, what if I don't know what to do, what if I'm not good at being a mum but you know what as soon as your baby is born and laid on your chest you just know what to do. When your baby cries and you hold him or her close they relax. Try not to panic being a mum is the most incredible thing in the world x

 

[vixie27]

Oh and if your in uk most birthing suites now don't feel like a hospital. My local one you give birth in the labour room.....,very cosy not clinical looking at all, own en suite bathroom etc then you go into your own private room again not clinical and very private. You wouldn't know you were in hospital. If your not set on an epidural consider a home birth in a birthing pool x

 

[AlwaysDreamin]

Thank you so much

Hospitals really do scare me, bit silly, I know. I think I just need to hear more positive stories like yours, your kind words really do help to calm me and I appreciate you taking the time to reply

I don't think I could handle a home birth... I think I need the reassurance that If anything were to go wrong (praying that it doesn't) there would be more people and equipment to help...

I just really hope I manage to put my fears to one side and start enjoying my pregnancy. I'm sure after I have my scan and start looking at buying baby things, I'll get more excited lol.

I keep telling myself that I'll be so proud once I've done it all and I have our little baby... It's just I have no idea what to expect.

Thanks again for your reply, I really appreciate what you said xx