I'm so angry......

[CDNmom]

I had my 19 week scan yesterday and DH and I have both agreed we don't want to find out the sex of the baby. We didn't find out for our first (a girl) and it was such a beautiful moment at birth that we decided we didn't want to know this time either. Well, when I walked into the scan room I told the tech and her trainee immediately that I didn't want to know. Although they didn't tell me when they seen the gender, the tech pointed it out to the trainee and the trainee started laughing and said "We know what you're having and we're not telling". The laughing and pointing led me to believe that this is a boy simply because it seemed like they were seeing a penis. You probably had to be there to understand what I'm talking about, but it just seemed so obvious that's what they were talking about. Later during the ultra sound they did it again and asked "are you sure you don't want to know?" I really would've rather they didn't say a word (like they're not supposed to), because now I feel like I know, even though I don't and it feels like the whole thing is ruined. If it turns out to be a girl, we'll be surprised, but the surprise of having a little boy is ruined. I don't expect anyone to understand how I'm feeling...I just needed to rant. I assure you the most important thing to us is that the baby is healthy. I just really enjoy the not knowing, and wondering until the last possible moment whether it's a girl or boy. I don't know what to do now, should I ask the OB if she knows what we're having, or should I just go on thinking I know.

 

[DragonMummy]

doesn't necessarily mean boy - girls are pretty obvious to spot too so maybe they were just laughing cos baby was a real exhibitionist! x

 

[Kaileymonster]

You still don't know 100%... Either way it's a boy or a girl so you'll be expecting one or the other...

If it's really bugging you because you almost know why don't you see if DH can find out and find a way to put your mind at ease...

 

[lady_t_0]

Omg I'd be well pissed if they did that not cause of the knowing but the fact their rubbing it in your face they know, where's the professionalism in that?!

 

[BabyRaff]

I would have been so annoyed at that. Didn't you say anything to them, I would have done. That's horrible, they may seen baby's day in and day out so it's not a big deal, but to us it's different urgh!!
I wouldn't worry because you don't actually know, me and OH think we are having a boy and even call baby he sometimes, but we still don't actually know, so it'll be a lovely surprise next week when we do find out.
Just think to yourself, we are leaning more towards a boy, but we don't have actually definate proof, so it could go either way

 

[baby05]

It sounds to me like you really still dont know!
They very well may have seen 3 very clear distinct lines and NOTHING sticking out and that is what they were pointing at.... esp since a LOT of the time people are told a girl but the pic is really not clear, and so they just guess girl if they dont see a boy part. A pic showing a clear girl is pretty rare.... it very well could have been a girl they were talking about.

FWIW, I have a friend who had her baby in december... she wanted to know, and they saw what they were SURE was a boy on the 20 week US... pic looked EXACTLY like a boy... and when the baby was born they were ALL stunned when it was a girl. it must have been a bad placement of a hand or the cord or something bc the baby is a girl even though they were told 100% boy.

I would be angry if they told you it was one gender or the other and you spent hundreds/ thousands getting the house ready for that gender and then you find out it isnt! But it sounds like they could have been talking about a girl to me... I mean seeing a clear shot of boy parts really IS NOT that unusual... but a clear girl shot is something to talk about!

 

[MrsPOP]

It depends on how they said it to you I guess, if they were doing it in a jokey manner they might have just been trying to be funny with you and to make you relaxed. The trainee may have been nervous and that's why she/he said that. I wouldnt say you knew tbh, it could have been an obvious girly shot too. Try not to let this get you down so much, either way you're getting a beautiful baby and that's all that matters

 

[CDNmom]

Thank-you to all of you. You've all made very valid points. DH agrees it could've just been obvious either way, that's why the trainee lady was laughing. However at the time it just felt like they were laughing at the boy parts floating in the amniotic fluid. But like DragonMummy said, the baby could've been a real exhibitionist. I'm just not sure if girl parts are as funny as boy parts for two women. Although DH did remind me that they weren't three years old. In any case, you've all made me feel better about the possibility that I don't know for sure. I still welcome more opinions. Thank-you!

 

[Purple_poppy]

I would have thought what you did... them immaturely giggling at a penis.

However, you don't actually know anymore now, than you did going in. You have an assumption, just like you may have before going in.

What I would do it contact their supervisor or at the very least tell your OB. You don't get a do-over with this child. And if you feel something has been ruined because of the lack of professionalism of the US techs... you should speak up about that. If not just for yourself, to perhaps save others from feeling like their surprise was ruined too.

HUGS.

 

[CDNmom]

The OB's office just happened to phone me today to change my appointment next week and I told the receptionist what happened. She was really angry and told me how much she hates unprofessionalism, so she's writing a letter to the ultrasound clinic to complain. This doesn't change anything for me, but hopefully it'll stop it from happening to someone else.

 

[CandyApple19]

I must say if i really did not want to know, i would be fuming with them. because my son made it very clearly strait away he was a boy, his willy was floating about and she was 100000000% sure he was a boy and it took her just a glance to know. Where as my big sister was kept waiting for a little bit so she could get a proper look to confirm.

im not saying you're defo having a boy, some girls bits are SO clear on US its surreal, but i feel for you.

 

[CDNmom]

Thank-you CandyApple! I know I don't know for sure, but I wasn't even laying down for five minutes when this all happened, so the fact that they saw the gender so quickly also made me think "boy"(just as you said). I'm excited about a boy, but now I'm in limbo because although I think it's a boy I still don't know for sure, but I'm so sure that I'm not thinking girl at all. I'm so confused.
I was so happy to go along wondering each day what this little one could be. Looking at old wives tales...etc...I'm just so upset!

 

[Pippin]

That is very unfair and I jumped to the same 'boy' conclusion as you did when I read what they said. I'm so sorry, maybe they were double bluffing you? X

 

[scuffer]

It just sounds very unprofessional, I'd be cross too!