:-( im so ashamed..

[Happy2810]

Im so ashamed to post this but i had been tryin to conceieve a baby with my partner for 6 months, and we had a massive row split and i ended up having a night with my ex :-/ I had a positive ovulation clear blue smiley test on the saturday and had tried with my partner that day and a few days before and on the sunday.

Then the following thursday early hours i slept with my ex (with protection).. now im pregnant, racked with guilt.. but hope someone could help me. If that condom split.. (im having nightmares of this) could i still have fallen pregnant so far after the positive ovulation test? I know ive brought this is on myself..I should never of done this.. it has made me feel sick with worry. I know i'm to blame. I cant speak to anyone about this.. :-*(

 

[SillyHale]

Hey there. I can understand why you feel so bad. I'm not in any position to give advice because that's a tough situation. Do you think the condom split or have any reason to think it didn't work? I would say it's your partners based on when you guys were together during ovulation. I mean you did pretty well to cover your bases. The only problem is there will always be an unknown. Would it tear you and your partner apart if you talked and shared this? Could you live with yourself if you didn't? What happens if it's born and looks like this other person? I'm trying to put myself in your shoes to offer advice but honestly I wouldn't know what to do either. My hubby would be devastated. Good thing is you just found out so maybe take some time and think on it. You also don't want this to stress you out so bad that you lose the baby either. I hope you figure it out and find a way to save your future family

 

[Happy2810]

Hello, thank you so much or replying xxx i did not see or feel that the condom split.. i am over the moon to have this little baby, im so unhappy withmyself, this should be a special time for me and my partner... im so racked with guilt that i have been going to sleep early because its making me feel sick... im having nightmares. My partner is black, i am white.. im terrified at the thought off the birth now.. my ex is white..so I would know staright away. If i say anything it will be over and i couldnt put him thru this, but then how can i leave it ive never been in such an awful position. I was hoping the clearblue smiley ovulation test on the sat would mean the following thursday would be too late.. and having used the condom would have safeguarded me. I dont know what to do :-*(
I really appreciate your thoughts xx

 

[Madrid98]

I think you're right and that from Saturday to Thursday it's very unlikely you were O then. The clearblue says you'll O after the smiley 24-48 hours after. I think the baby is probably your partner's.
Regarding the sleeping with your ex I can't judge.

Good luck!
XX

 

[rdy4number2]

Go on Maury. He can hash it out for you.

 

[redbubble]

I'd say it's more than likely your partners. Maybe it's somebody up there's way of telling you that you are your partner are meant to be together.
Take some time to think it over
Were always here if you need us Hun
Xx

 

[AllMacsNow]

Your egg can only live a maximum of a day after you ovulate... my guess is that if you got that positive on Saturday, and weren't with your ex until Thursday, I really don't think it could be his.

Best of luck to you, I hope you get everything worked out the way you want it.

 

[Happy2810]

I have truly learnt my lesson girls I would never do something like this again xxx I just pray that i have my baby and partner at the end of this. xx

 

[dreamer1978]

I agree. I really don't see how the baby could be the other man's, because of when you got your .

 

[emsie_123]

When a condom splits, you feel it (at least I did)

I understand you feel guilty which is a good sign. Our mistakes dosnt define us in any way and as long as you know that you love your partner and want a baby with him, dont beat yourself up about the past. We all make mistakes, and especially when we are in a bad place (ttc for 6 months and fight with ur partner)

You have a baby on the way, with a loving partner! Be happy and dont let your temperary lack of judgement get in the way of your happiness the next 9 months - enjoy it!

 

[honey08]

mistakes are lessons learnt ?xx

 

[Sewergrrl]

I agree that the chances are slim to none that the baby is your ex's.

As far as telling your partner about your affair, what would you want to happen if the situation were reversed? Would you rather not know, as the fling isn't one of love but lust, or would you want to potentially destroy what you have because of one night of bad judgment?

 

[Girlnextdoor]

oh gosh, i can't imagine the stress you are under right now. i agree that it is likely your partner's baby, but there is always a chance that you O'd a little later however, since you used a condom i really think it is very unlikely and you are just freaking yourself out because of the guilt. i have had a condom break before and i agree that you can feel it.

i guess it is actually good that the two guys are different races so at least you won't be consumed with guilt worrying if it is your partner's baby or not. it does suck because i'm sure it will make the pregnancy very stressful for you though. i really think it is highly unlikely that this is the other guys though.

 

[Tiff]

Moved out of the TTC forums as generally we don't talk about pregnancy there. I will say though that the "Go on Maury" comment was highly rude and uncalled for. If people cannot be civil and helpful to the OP then please move on from this thread.

 

[punk_pig]

I think that the use of a condom means you are OK, but could you ask your ex whether he thought it looked intact when he removed it?

Whether to tell or not to tell: I can't say but I know some mixed race children who don't look mixed race at all - will you freak out if the baby doesn't look at all black?

 

[Miss Duke]

Yeh I was thinking this too. Especially when they are first born, they tend to be paler at birth. My friends mixed race child seemed white at birth, but it became obvious as time went on that he is mixed race. So don't panic if this is the case. It seems highly unlikey the baby is your ex's, fingers crossed.

However will he cause trouble when he hears you are preggers?

I really hope this works out for you xxx

 

[KateT]

Aww hun, everyone makes mistakes, and if you're feeling as guilty as you say then it's obvious that you really do care so much about your oh.
It's a shame that it happened, it but its in the past now, and you now need to focus on giving your baby the best start, so start taking folic acid, eating well, not drinking or smoking etc.... And also, try your hardest to enjoy the pregnancy, but pregnancy is such an amazing thing.
I hope you get the answer that you want. Good luck, and welcome to the forum xx

 

[Elakizim]

i have made plenty mistakes, so i aint judgen you girl. i feel for you, your not a bad person, sometimes our emotions make us do this out of character.

i agree with the other ladies, my guess is 90% your partners.

if i were on the other hand a bad mistake like what you did i wouldnt want to know, unless the relationship just wasnt working and there was no chance of it going anywhere. so i would say keep it hush.

but is there a chance your ex will freak out and spill the beans one way or another, does ur ex and partner no of eachother? are they likely to cross paths and is ur ex likely to cause trouble? think carefully hun xx

 

[Lara310809]

I think you're right and that from Saturday to Thursday it's very unlikely you were O then. The clearblue says you'll O after the smiley 24-48 hours after. I think the baby is probably your partner's.
Regarding the sleeping with your ex I can't judge.

Good luck!
XX

IT's possible you conceived when you were DTD with your ex. I conceived my daughter 4 days before I ovulated, so I suppose it's possible to also conceive afterwards. But the chances are, if you used a condom, it will be your OH's baby. I don't know what other advice I can give you though hon, what a tough position to be in.

 

[punk_pig]

IT's possible you conceived when you were DTD with your ex. I conceived my daughter 4 days before I ovulated

Surely though that is down to sperm hanging around for up to 5 days, so the sperm from sex 4 days previously were still there to meet the egg when it appeared. I don't think eggs live as long do they?