I'm so disappointed I can't have the birth experience I want :(

[LullabyLover]

So I just read through the requirements for a water birth here in South Australia and apparently I can't have one purely because my BMI is over 35. I'm in tears as it's the one thing I desperately wanted for my birth experience.

What sucks the most is that I put on 30kg (66lbs) within the first 6 months of having my implanon in so my BMI was always around 30 before...not ideal but still better. After getting my implanon out on 15th November I found the weight dropped off with the same lifestyle and exercise so I lost 10kg (22lbs) before I found out I was pregnant on 29th January. I was told it would take 6 months to conceive potentially so I thought I was on track to lose the weight and be well within the weight range for water birth.

I know the birth is so far away but it's the one thing I wanted to strive for and it's taken away before my first antenatal appointment has even happened. Everything else with my health is going great and my PT even says I'm very fit for someone of my size....none of that matters though.

Have any of you had an early disappointments? I don't have much of a birth plan...just had an ideal that clearly isn't going to happen.

 

[darkriver]

I am sorry about your plans. I didn't realize that you have to have certain requirements. I am suffering from early disappointing due to the fact that I cant have a birth naturally. I will have to have a Cesarean and its another scar on top of all the others. However if it means the baby will be safe then I understand.

 

[NC_Sarah]

I'm so sorry to hear that. With regular exercise and a very healthy diet, would you perhaps be able to get under 35 BMI so you could still experience it?

 

[jojo_b]

Sorry you're disappointed all I would ever say to anyone witng birth plans is be really prepared for them not to go according to plan. My birth story is here fom my first little boy, and I'm SO glad I didn't have a plan, because everything went haywire, and I was, in theory, a low risk pregnancy. But you know what? It was THE best experience ever. Your baby being born will be wonderful, no matter what. Honestly xx

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/b...y-only-took-me-nearly-9-months-get-round.html

Here's my birth story if you're bored xx

 

[brunette&bubs]

i'm sorry hun


had no idea that was a requirement!

 

[darkriver]

Jojo_b I read the whole thing. Thanks for sharing your journey.

 

[jojo_b]

Jojo_b I read the whole thing. Thanks for sharing your journey.

Haha you deserve a medal! It's a epic rambling

 

[smallbean]

My birth plan with first was gas an air nothing else and a water birth. My baby was back to back with me there for her head wasn't hitting my cervix to help me dilate. I did my best to stay on gas and air but by 28 hour I was nackered and in agony I begged and begged for an epidural bt he was im theater so they gave me pethadine at 33 hours I was still only 4 cm an due to the fact it was most likely I was goin to end up havin a c section they brought him up to give me one. That ment my water birth was well and truly out the question but I was in agony. Finaly at 46 hours I had my lil girl I couldn wait for her to be placed on my chest like id seen in all the programmes but she wasn crying and was all floppy so they took her away they spent 20 min tryin to sort her out when they brought her back she was bright blue still floppy and not crying I was convinced she wasn't alive an struggled to get that first bond and I think its cuz they went off with her. This definatly was not the birth plan I had. In mind BUT I had a beautiful healthy lil girl and id give up all the pain relief water births and everything every time just to have a healthy baby. I no its upsetting but birth plans never go to plan due to baby bein so unpredictable so please dont be upset you could get a Labour like mine and that would be down to baby not weight. You have so much to look forward to x

 

[elociN]

Really sorry to hear about your disappointment. I agree with the others though, that there is probably still a chance you can drop some weight to be within accepted range. Unfortunately there is no way of going around the guidelines as your health and safety and your baby's health comes first and they have to follow the protocol .
I have never had a birth plan because there was no point really. My first baby died inside me so I had to be induced and because of the stillbirth being unexplained, all of my subsequent children were induced too. Plus I could not use the birthing pool as I had to have monitors on to keep an eye on my babies. With the last one I felt I had no say whatsoever as I was already 2cm dialated when i turned up for my induction so couldn;t have the pessary as I usually did, but instead they followed the protocol and broke my waters and gave me oxytocin IV which made the contractions go through the roof. And I also had PPH after that birth (possibly due to oxytocin I am not sure) so it was not a nice experience. The only thing I did decide myself in all my births was to have no epidural, so had practically no pain relief and gas and air makes me feel sick, so not a fan.
This time I am planning to discuss my "plan" with my consultant but its mostly asking lots of questions and being paranoid.

I really hope you can drop down to the acceptable weight and have your water birth.

 

[LoraLoo]

I'd have loved a water birth or home birth- I cant have either, but after losing 2 babies, so long as the baby arrives healthy I dont care! I'm sorry you aren't getting the birth you would like, I think its great to have a birth plan but just be open minded as things dont always go to plan x

 

[Perfect_pink]

I would love to have a water birth but as many have said at the time i dont think it will matter, the end result is the same and you wont care how you get it ! I will have a section at 37 weeks due to past complications and my little bly passing away but i know this is the safest route possible for me and my baby so i need to learn to be at peace with that x

 

[smallbean]

The other thing is please dont stress your self to try and loose the weight to be able to have one cuz as iv said it could turn out baby has other ideas and then you will have worked so hard still not been able to have one, a stressed mother in labour is not good for the baby. I no its upsetting but its still the same out come as others have said. You can still spend your most your labour in the bath at hospital. I spent 2 hours in the bath I jus kept pulling the plug out and fillin it with hot water. Id say make a new birth plan but still be open to change. Good luck with your pregnancy x

 

[Amygdala]

Just wanted to say, don't give up hope yet. I read somewhere that here, there's no water birth over bmi 30, which I was. But when it came to talking through my birth plan with the midwives, no-one batted an eyelid. I did have an unmediated water birth in the end and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had that if I hadn't had a birth plan. Keeping an open mind is a good thing of course but you're very vulnerable during labour and people might try to impose their opinions, even without medical necessity, so it helps to know what you want in advance. By all means prepare for things having to be done differently for medical reasons, but there's nothing wrong with imagining and thriving for a "best case".
Anyway, try not to be too disappointed about the water birth until you actually know for sure. Crossing my fingers for you!

 

[JessPape]

Can you have a home birth, and still do a water birth? some of theses requirements are stupid! Will let you labor in the water,until pushing comes? you have lots of time to talk with doctors and people.

 

[Cala]

Sorry for your disappointment.... perhaps, as others have suggested, you could plan for the birth you want with some planning, nutritional advice and moderate exercise?

For myself, I don't have any plans for birth, I know I can't have epidural due to two spinal surgeries so what will be will be, other than that I want to be in a hospital. I've known too many women, two sisters included, who have ended up with emergency situations.