I'm so stressed out..

AlyssaDeVaul

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The baby daddy says I'm not affectionate enough and freaks out on my everyday and we fight literally all day long because he'll throw a fit about the tiniest shit and says I "neglect" him. Gets upset if I don't kiss him but he barely ever showers and NEVER brushes his teeth. How could I? He complains all the time of how he's going to kill himself and that it's all my fault. I'm 11 weeks pregnant and I'm so stressed out and I'm so worried about my baby. Today he twisted my arm and threw me on the ground because he tried to run down the road and run away with my phone. I have stress blisters all over my hands and My stomach hurts so bad, I realize I can't really ask random people on the internet if my baby is okay because you guys don't know but I guess I'm just venting because I have nobody.
 
I am sorry you are going through this. Domestic violence is very serious and I think you should leave before he ends up seriously hurting you or your baby. Please seek help. I'm not sure where you are but in Australia we have something called the Domestic Violence Hotline where you can ring them and they advise you of your options. Is there something similar where you are?

Also, please go to your GP/Dr and at least talk to them about all this so they have a record and can refer you for a scan if you are worried about your baby.

Please look after yourself and your baby above anyone else xx
 
I'm sorry but you need to leave him. He is physically and emotionally abusing you, and he will do it to your baby. Technically, he already is. Honestly, I would have already called the police and kicked him out. My dad did the same to my mom, and she got a restraining order. It was the best thing she ever did. He went to therapy and became the best husband and father. I have high anxiety disorder and amblyopia directly from the stress my mom experienced from being abused during my pregnancy. Get out. If not for you, for your child.
 
I second these ladies! Abuse of any kind is never OK! Please find a safe place and leave! Leave everything! Do it as soon as possible, research women's safe house in your area.
 
If he can do that to a full grown human being who's pregnant, what will he do to your future child? Do this for yourself and get out of this situation. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for your child. My father was abusive to my mum before I was born and abused me every day I had to live with him. Once, he got angry with me for something and came to hit me (because he would beat me up), so I ran to my room and locked the door. He literally broke my door open to get to me. My mother still refused to leave him. I'm so thankful that I made it out of that situation alive because if he wasn't going to kill me, I was sure I'd kill myself. You and your child are worth so much more than that!!! Don't let anybody put their hands on you, and do NOT make excuses or take the blame for this. If you need help getting out of this relationship, there are domestic abuse resources who can help you find a safe place to stay and even give you assistance if you need it.
 
If he can do that to a full grown human being who's pregnant, what will he do to your future child? Do this for yourself and get out of this situation. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for your child. My father was abusive to my mum before I was born and abused me every day I had to live with him. Once, he got angry with me for something and came to hit me (because he would beat me up), so I ran to my room and locked the door. He literally broke my door open to get to me. My mother still refused to leave him. I'm so thankful that I made it out of that situation alive because if he wasn't going to kill me, I was sure I'd kill myself. You and your child are worth so much more than that!!! Don't let anybody put their hands on you, and do NOT make excuses or take the blame for this. If you need help getting out of this relationship, there are domestic abuse resources who can help you find a safe place to stay and even give you assistance if you need it.

Wow what a horrible experience you had to go through :hugs: I'm glad you made it out of that environment alive.
 
Alyssa (my name too!!). My ex husband was abusive physically and emotionally. He would pick me up and throw me across the room. He cheated on me constantly and ran me down. I made excuses for him, I protected him, begged him to go to counseling, the list goes on. He even spanked our daughter once so hard she stopped breathing. It was the scariest thing I have ever been through. I finally kicked him out and divorced him a year and a half ago and wish I would have done it 10 years go when he was cheating on me while I was pregnant with DD. It's scary to take that step, but please please get help and support. His threats of suicide are his own and you aren't responsible for his depression or if he decides to commit suicide. My ex played that card too. Please report him to th authorities for the abuse and suicide threats. *hugs*
 
Alyssa (my name too!!). My ex husband was abusive physically and emotionally. He would pick me up and throw me across the room. He cheated on me constantly and ran me down. I made excuses for him, I protected him, begged him to go to counseling, the list goes on. He even spanked our daughter once so hard she stopped breathing. It was the scariest thing I have ever been through. I finally kicked him out and divorced him a year and a half ago and wish I would have done it 10 years go when he was cheating on me while I was pregnant with DD. It's scary to take that step, but please please get help and support. His threats of suicide are his own and you aren't responsible for his depression or if he decides to commit suicide. My ex played that card too. Please report him to th authorities for the abuse and suicide threats. *hugs*

You are so strong xx
 
If the op finds her way back here, I wanted to add that I had a friend whose husband had a gun to her head in front of her children. But the courts ruled that since, at that point, he had not physically threatened or harmed the children but just their mother that he still had his paternal rights to unsupervised visits. Even once he began hitting the daughter, there wasn't enough evidence for years before they finally took his paternal rights away. So I cannot say enough how important it is to get out and get out now.
 
If the op finds her way back here, I wanted to add that I had a friend whose husband had a gun to her head in front of her children. But the courts ruled that since, at that point, he had not physically threatened or harmed the children but just their mother that he still had his paternal rights to unsupervised visits. Even once he began hitting the daughter, there wasn't enough evidence for years before they finally took his paternal rights away. So I cannot say enough how important it is to get out and get out now.

It's just devastating that anyone should be subjected to such horrible behaviour. Really breaks my heart.
 
As everyone has said, get out for you and your baby. Please update us to know you are alright.
 
Alyssa (my name too!!). My ex husband was abusive physically and emotionally. He would pick me up and throw me across the room. He cheated on me constantly and ran me down. I made excuses for him, I protected him, begged him to go to counseling, the list goes on. He even spanked our daughter ... His threats of suicide are his own and you aren't responsible for his depression or if he decides to commit suicide. My ex played that card too. Please report him to th authorities for the abuse and suicide threats. *hugs*

You are so strong xx

Thanks. The hardest part is the between the bad stuff times when they gaslight you and make you think it wasn't as bad as all that or make you think you triggered them or make you think they are reforming themselves and it won't happen again. But does. It always does unless they decide to change themselves and get some serious help. The problem is that we as the partners are somewhat geared to want to try to help, so any hint that they are doing better feeds the hope that we can some how help them get better. I can tell you- that is never the case. Change can't come from the outside. Only the inside.
 
I hope you're ok. Please get checked out to make sure the baby is ok and as the others have said, leave him. I was in an abusive relationship for four years, I'm lucky I survived. I wish I'd got out when he first hit me and it didn't have to take him strangling me for me to realise he would kill me one day. Things will only escalate, please leave 💕
 
Alyssa (my name too!!). My ex husband was abusive physically and emotionally. He would pick me up and throw me across the room. He cheated on me constantly and ran me down. I made excuses for him, I protected him, begged him to go to counseling, the list goes on. He even spanked our daughter ... His threats of suicide are his own and you aren't responsible for his depression or if he decides to commit suicide. My ex played that card too. Please report him to th authorities for the abuse and suicide threats. *hugs*

You are so strong xx

Thanks. The hardest part is the between the bad stuff times when they gaslight you and make you think it wasn't as bad as all that or make you think you triggered them or make you think they are reforming themselves and it won't happen again. But does. It always does unless they decide to change themselves and get some serious help. The problem is that we as the partners are somewhat geared to want to try to help, so any hint that they are doing better feeds the hope that we can some how help them get better. I can tell you- that is never the case. Change can't come from the outside. Only the inside.

Absolutely. I can see how they would target people who are empath's and want to try understand and help. It's a vicious cycle though and ultimately you can't help anyone who won't help themselves. I feel for all you girls going through what you have. :hugs:
 

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