Im worried and anxious about what to do for the best

[NetsaBaba]

I woke up this morning to a frantic phone call off my older sister who is 31 weeks and 3 days pregnant.
She had gone into early labour and was worried so i went to her and took her to the hospital, i then left and went back home to get some sleep. It turns out she has very very high blood presure and they couldnt wait to deliver the baby. But to cut a long story short later this afternoon she gave birth to her little girl stillborn.



Im really confused as to what to do now, im pregnant with twins and i want to comfort her but im sure it will make her feel awful as im pregnant. I dont know where this is going to go and im also scared that it might happen to me.
Sorry if this brings anyone down or scares them but i just needed to talk to someone about it.
Im really in shock

I dont know all the details and havent asked for obvious reasons

 

[xemmax]

oh my goodness, how tragic. huge for you and her. all you can do is be there for her however and whenever she wants.. i can't imagine how she is feeling or will react, but you are clearly a close, supportive sister to her. so sorry to hear this has happened. xxxx

 

[jollygood000]

What an absolutely awful situation to be in... My older sister is pregnant and about 25weeks, I so wish I could think of something you could do or say but your sister will take a long time to get over something like that. I am sure that she just wants to know you are there for her and when she is ready to talk she will.

Big hugs to you and all your family

 

[Kerrieann]

I so very sorry, just be there for her as much as you can and just because its happened to her there is no reason for it to happen to you too hun

 

[babytots]

Oh sweetie sending you and your family the biggest of

Going on experience of losing a baby myself just let her know you are there for her you may find she might push you away because you are pregnant and its going to be tough for her to see you continue with your pregnancy and give birth etc but as long as she knows she has your support thats all you can do.

Also do things to acknowledge that her baby was born and that she is still her child even though she is no longer with her. I hate that most family and friends have simply forgotten about my daughter and only my close friends talk to me about her and its nice to know they still think about her too and that they buy her little gifts for her resting place etc.

I'm sure if you pop over to the stillbirths,neo-natal loss and sids section the ladies there will be able to give you some more advise. Keeping your sister in my thoughts at this sad time. x

 

[mystika802]

omg, i have no advice but Im thinking of you and your sister, wish neither of you had to go through such a horrible thing

 

[keava]

Just a note to say my thoughts are with you all. Still births affect everyone in a family. i hope you are ok.

 

[NetsaBaba]

Thankyou so much everyone.

And i think i will be fine, just dont want to make her feel uncomfortable.

 

[charlottecco2]

oh gosh i am so sorry, that is devastating. My heart goes out to you and your sister xx

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

Huge I'm so sorry hun.

 

[Irish Baby]

OMG thats terrible, cant even begin to imagine how your sister (or you) must be feeling soooo sorry to hear that.... im just in shock my thoughts are with you and your family hun xxx

 

[mama.bear]

aw hun! that's such a terrible thing, i feel such sadness and sympathy for your sister and yourself ....
your sister is lucky to have had you with her... i've never been where you are now and don't feel right offering advice BUT from what the other mama's have replied with, i agree with everything that's been said.... let her know you're there for her, acknowledge that she had a beautiful daughter who will be with her in her heart forever..
frm my own experiences with grief/grieving friends, sometimes your presence alone and simply being there for them is powerful, sometimes (and oftentimes) there is nothing one can really 'say', but just 'being there' for crying/talking/silence/whatever is being experienced, can be so very healing
continue to look after yourself and don't worry about how things will unfold with your pregnancy journey.... everything IS, and WILL BE, fine
sending some brightness and peace yonder way...
xo

 

[rainbow_11]

Oh my god! I'm so sorry to hear! No advice hun! but sending you and your sister big hugs!xx

 

[Sarahkka]

What an awful situation.
I don't know how close you are to your sister, but I think you should say almost exactly what you said in your original post. Let her know that your heart is breaking for her and that you are deeply grieving the loss of your niece and ask her what she needs from you - and if that includes some space because she can't handle being around a pregnant woman right now, then that's exactly what you'll do for her.
I think the most important thing is to let her know that you are thinking of her, though. And huge for you, too. I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[MrsNovBaby]

So sorry for your sisters loss, sounds like you are a fab sister and are caring about what she is feeling at a time like this. Can't offer any advice, as I have never been in this sort of situation - but as someone said - pop over to neonatal deaths and stillbirths and see what they have to say. Lots of hugs xx

 

[NetsaBaba]

thankyou so much everyone and i will go over to that forum thanks for telling mee

 

[bubbywings]

OMG this is horrible. I am so very sorry to hear of her loss. Be there for her and I would even tell her of your worries.

 

[NetsaBaba]

Yeah im going to ring her first tomorrow as i dont want to just turn up if she doesnt want to be around anyone never mind her pregnant sister.
Im really shaken and im not sure why it has affected me so much.
I think its the fact it was so fast we were only baby shopping the other day
Im not actually upset as of now but im the type of person who has delayed reactions, i remember when my gran died i was fine for 3 months and wasnt really upset but then it was like it hit me all of a sudden that i could never talk to her again and i was a reck for a long time.

 

[trumpetbum]

I am so sorry. I think as has been suggested, just be there for her and help her to grieve for her LO.

 

[NetsaBaba]

Thankies hunnie, and does this increse my chances, im really worried now.