In a bit of a kerfuffle..

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by thesockqueen, Oct 17, 2008.

  1. thesockqueen

    thesockqueen 3rd Trimester

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    I'm not sure what to do about my SD (sperm donor lol). We haven't spoken in about a month since a major bust up, although last week he made the effort and spoke to me on Facebook chat. It was just a polite conversation, I didn't want to come on too heavy, and the only thing regarding the baby that we discussed was that he wanted to be at the birth, so I said that he could (more so I can abuse him than anything else lol). However he's made no effort to talk to me since. It was always me that made the effort before, which is partly why we fell out (we were on the way to being on good terms before I discovered him saying nasty things about me and the situation and lying to me), so I don't want to go crawling back to him (metaphorically) but at the same time I'd rather at least be on semi good terms with him before I go into labour, as it'd be rather awkward at the hospital if we weren't. I also want to ensure whether he definitely is or isn't coming. I know what he's like, I don't want to be wondering where he is when I'm in masses of pain. I have 10 weeks to go, should I try to start rebuilding things now or just leave him to come to me??
     
  2. Younglutonmum

    Younglutonmum Mummy To Maya & Bump

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    Bloody hell, i'm surprised you're letting him be at the birth tbh!!!

    I'd just leave him to come crawling & when he does you need to have a chat. Trust me hun, you don't want to be stressed when you're in labour. Makes it alot worse
     
  3. thesockqueen

    thesockqueen 3rd Trimester

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    It's so I can hit someone's head against the wall lol! He said he wanted to be there, and I figured he was going to be there anyway (before the arguments) and if he annoys me I can at least tell the midwives to get rid of him. I just don't want any tension, and I'm sick of the arguments and of holding grudges and of having a verbal 'cold war' and of cutting my nose off to spite my face. A lot of what has been said is hearsay and chinese whispers as well, it's so 'high school'. This doesn't mean in any way that I have forgiven him, and it's not one of those 'last chance' situations, its just me doing what I had originally planned, but this time if something doesn't go my way, instead of blowing up (like I'm prone to doing), I'll just walk away without a word. I've spent so long asking the opinions of others, asking people 'what they would do' (like I just have now), that in all honesty I don't know how to make decisions anymore. I need to start blaming myself for things, not thinking 'oh I took the wrong persons advice, I'll ask someone different next time'. I'm supposed to be an adult, and being an adult is about taking responsibility. I took responsibility for my baby, so I can do it for my decisions to. If I make the wrong one, its only me to blame. Wow...I think I just answered my own question! Obviously some people will think I made the wrong choice, and I appreciate your opinion, but you know when you have a gut instinct about something? Well this is one of those times, so I think I'm just gonna follow it and if it doesn't work out...oh well.
     
  4. brownhairedmom

    brownhairedmom Well-Known Member

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    Let him come to you then forget about it.

    I have no time for jackasses these days
     
  5. Novbaby08

    Novbaby08 Mom to Harley & Piper

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    see if he remembers my Ex asked to go to a couple of my appts and never did. Though he would not be allowed at the birth no matter what....that jackass can go jump off a cliff for all I care, I hope he catches herpes!
     
  6. navarababe

    navarababe Mummy To Brooke :-)

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    Im soooo sorry if this is going to sound harsh, But if he cant make no effort to talk to you apart from that once, he doesnt deserve to be at the birth, im sure your family member or someone else would LOVE to be there. Or just take him with u and give him a few black eyes when u need to push...haha, soz i need to stop being agressive with men

    LOL xxx
     

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