In debt up to our eyeballs :'''o(

[farmerswifey]

I have no great advice like the other ladies have already given you - but they sound like they know what they are talking about! Some wonderful plans and ideas to start on. I just wanted to send you hugs and make sure that you know things will get better!!
xxxx

 

[winbig82]

Thank you all so so much xx I will be emailing all my credit cards debts later to sort them out - The OH rang our rent office yesterday and explained whats been happening and that we will do everything we can to pay extra to get the debt paid off and they were happy with that - Im just not sure what will happen when he gets made redundant next month but for now I do feel a bit better about things xx I have been sticking my head in the sand and ignoring it all and I know its stupid but I got so lost with all the letters ive been getting I didnt know what to do - Well I have a pile of fresh letters from who I owe money to so I will start the scary task of opening them later and actually dealing with them - Even now I dread to think what they will say but the main thing is that I do something about it Honestly you lot have been absolutely brilliant with all your advice - Im so so SO grateful xx Thank you all xx

 

[Sweetk1]

I've come to realise I will always be skint while I'm with my OH.
Work this out, he earns £1600 a month. Total outgoings around 600. Yet i still have to lend him money at end of month!! I pay for everything, i pay the mortgage, bills, council tax, phone, sky you name it!! Our childcare bill is £450 a month. Last month he bought a puppy, i told him I'm not having a puppy in the house, I already had to give my dog to my mum as my toddler would not leave it alone. He still went ahead and bought it, needless to say the next day he gave it away! Then he tells me the god cost £100 and now he hasn't got his share of the childcare bill so I ended up paying that too!!

 

[xxsteffyxx]

I've come to realise I will always be skint while I'm with my OH.
Work this out, he earns £1600 a month. Total outgoings around 600. Yet i still have to lend him money at end of month!! I pay for everything, i pay the mortgage, bills, council tax, phone, sky you name it!! Our childcare bill is £450 a month. Last month he bought a puppy, i told him I'm not having a puppy in the house, I already had to give my dog to my mum as my toddler would not leave it alone. He still went ahead and bought it, needless to say the next day he gave it away! Then he tells me the god cost £100 and now he hasn't got his share of the childcare bill so I ended up paying that too!!

Wow - we could be twins! lol Chris was like this to start with until I sat him down and told him I wasn't having it... I said, either pay up or get out. He didn't want to face the prospect of not being his baby everyday so he started paying up.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't leaving him... I just couldn't afford to 'keep him' as such, espcecially when he was still buying alcohol and Xbox games, so I said he can move back to his mums if he doesn't start paying towards the bills...

The mortgage is mine and all the bills are in my name... so I am the one who gets screwed if he doesn't pay.

Fair play to him though, he has changed now.

 

[mummylove]

Why u with him?

He dont deserve u!

If my OH was like that i would rather be on my own!!!!!

 

[winbig82]

I have emailed all the debtors I can think of offering them £1 a month so now the balls in their court and they should stop harassing me so much now ive got in contact I feel better about things now - Especially as the massive pile of unopened letters are now open and dealt with xx My mans not perfect, he cant save money for toffee but then im hardly great with cash - I just worry more about the impact of it all - It doesnt make him a bad person and I still love him to bits, we both need to grow up but we will get there in the end im sure xx

 

[Sarah24]

A lot of us have been there hun, myself included. It's an awful situation to be in but don't panic about it you'll fall into a giant black hole and it's all you can think about.

If he won't take responsibility then you'll need to do the legwork but once you get going it's not as scary as it seems. You have a lot of rights and lots of options nowadays. advice on this thread is all great, the only other things I would say is to get organised - sort out a financial plan of your incomings and outgoings. Sort out your debts into priority and non priority (the only things that you should deal with straight away are rent, council tax, utilities, and TV licence) everything else can wait DO NOT LET THEM SCARE YOU!!! it's their job to take your money in any way they can. Take your time : )

Still paying off my debts in a flexible debt management plan (accumulated over £30k since I turned 18) nearly done with it now so as others have said, PM me if you need any advice. Good luck xxxx

 

[beccad]

Well done for taking the first steps. Just make sure you follow up those emails - it's probably best to call them to be honest, as they're unlikely to do business by email as it's not secure. Better still I'd send them a letter.

Try and keep a record of everything you buy - write it down in a notebook - and I mean everything, even just a packet of sweets or whatever. That can help you realise where your money is going to sometimes.

 

[tink30]

definetly reccomend consumer credit conceling service cccs (call them its free) and they will send you template letters for free to send to all your debts (and reccomend token payments) until your up to date with your utility bills. Council tax, water and gas and electric need to be upto date first.. (they are the only ones that have power to visit your home.. credit cards and banks have no power.. cccs will make an appointment on the phone with you and sort it all out. Your best then doing everything in writing with the companies.. cccs charge nothing for all the help.
Money Martin .. excellent website.. check out the forums also for support.. yl be relieved within no time xx

 

[Sherileigh]

DH was horrible with money, well still would be if he had control over it. No chance would I've had a baby with him and got a house with him if I didn't take over the finances. I get his paycheque and when he needs money he gets it. I pay all the bills with our paycheques and save money etc...it works for us.

 

[tink30]

DH was horrible with money, well still would be if he had control over it. No chance would I've had a baby with him and got a house with him if I didn't take over the finances. I get his paycheque and when he needs money he gets it. I pay all the bills with our paycheques and save money etc...it works for us.

I do the same.. and i think OH is relieved that he no longer has bank charges etc and we have money left over and are able to save.. easier to see what you have when its grouped together.. best thing we ever did