In laws feeding food to breastfed only baby.

[laura11111]

Hi there,
I'm having a problem with my inlaws giving food to my five month old breastfed only son, despite my disapproval. My husband is not being supportive.

We were at a b day party, the other day, and my father in law, who was holding my son, asked if he could give him some ice cream cake. I looked him in the eye and firmly said no. He gave some to him anyway and everyone laughed.

A couple weeks ago, he gave him a taste of his eaten off pizza.

As his mother, I've decided to introduce solids when my doctor tells me to (6 months) and to do it slowly (one food type at a time). My husband works all day everyday (so I'm the primary caregiver), and doesn't care to educate himself on the issue.

I have no idea what to do. Do I just ban them from babysitting and holding him when we're around food? That's going to cause issues between my husband and I. Do I let it go, hope my son doesn't choke or get sick, and allow them to disregard my authority as a parent? That's going to cause more issues in the future.

Help, please.

 

[x__amour]

Absolutely stand your ground. Your child, not theirs. Firmly tell them no and remove baby if it continues.
There is nothing okay about disrespecting parental wishes.

 

[ready4num2]

I would intervene if they do it again. After telling them no and they don't listen, I'd get up and remove your LO from the situation and nicely remind them you said no!

 

[Prinny_1]

I would be furious. It sounds to me as if you've been very tolerant. Might be best to communicate your feelings about respecting you rules now as these issues will continue to crop up as your LO grows. I know how you feel, my MIL and I have very different feelings about how much sweet stuff my 3 year old should be eating, but she seems to be finally getting the idea that I'm the one with the right to make these decisions...it took me two years to get the message across, I hope you manage it sooner. X

 

[Sqwidge]

I would intervene if they do it again. After telling them no and they don't listen, I'd get up and remove your LO from the situation and nicely remind them you said no!

This totally this!

 

[Kirsty3051]

I wouldn't even mention it. Every time it happens, pick up your baby and walk away. They should respect the choices you make for your son. They'll take the hint eventually

 

[Baby_Dreams]

That's horrible. I would definitely move your little boy away if they try this again xx

 

[mummylynds]

Wow this is terrible!! Pizza!! I would definitely have to say something this is dangerous and disrespectful. Hopefully it doesn't happen again for u x

 

[Linnypops]

Since your OH isn't bothered by it then the in-laws (according to my pop psychology insight ) will probably just keep doing it even if you object ... and probably say things like 'Lighten up' and generally be resistant. So, i'd say your hubby is the one to get on board...They're more likely to respect your wishes if it's the party line. In the past when DF and I have disagreed about approaches i've sent him a ton of info on why I think things should go a certain way and generally it's convinced him. Try that? That way you don't have to get into a confrontation with them on your own.

 

[mel28nicole]

I wouldnt care if it was some type of fruit or veggie but pizza and ice cream? Wtf? Stand you ground and tell them no, take the baby away. That is so disrespectful and very unhealthy

 

[c1403]

Why are people so obsessed with introducing food early! I keep getting people say to me oh maybe she wants more than milk or when are you going to give baby porridge. When I say not till six months I get rolled eyes and oh but she's hungry, my response is to say babies do not need food so young and if I catch you giving her any then We will fall out (in a jokey tone but they get the message)

Your in laws are being terribly rude and I would be blunt with them NO food or you don't get to hold LO.

 

[TTC First]

I really doubt that you will ever find anyone who disagrees with you. I would be soon pissed. Its terrible that they are trying to feed a 5 month old, its terrible that they were feeding junk, the worst part is that they disrespected you! What is the next issue that they are going to ignore your wishes on? I would be so upset with dh on this one!

 

[NoodleSnack]

First of all let your fil knows that when he didn't listen to you when you said no, that's very disrespectful to you as the mother and you wish he won't do it again.

As for the food issue, if it's your doctor's recommendation specifically for your child that he starts at 6 months and one food at a time, then everyone needs to get onboard for his health's sake. Take your husband to the doctor with you if you need to to make him understand, then make it clear to everyone.

If your wishes are based on general recommendations, maybe it's good to know that they are changing and without a family history of food allergy, there's no need to introduce one food at a time or wait until 6 months if he can sit on his own.

Foodwise, I don't agree with stopping doting family members from feeding a healthy baby, at the appropriate age, a bit of "junk food" at a gathering.

 

[LoveMyBaby786]

I would also be furious! I have chosen to wean my daighter at 5 months (only been a few days) but thats ny choice and if anyone tried to give her food before that i would be fuming and would definately let them know. I was at a wedding once my son was just over 5 months (i had weaned him at 4 months) and someone fed him spicy rice i flipped and started yelling at them as my son was clearly burning up in his mouth from the spices! Stand your ground hun dont let them disrespect your rules

 

[Larkspur]

I agree that you need to get your OH on board first, or at least give him a fast-and-easy heads-up on weaning. "I'm not going to go into the details unless you're interested but the long and the short of it is that medical organizations recommend six months as the earliest age to start food. I want to give our son the best start in life and giving him junk food before he's ready is not good for his developing digestive system. I'm not going to let your father do it again and I hope you'll have my back."

Then I would go zero-tolerance on FIL. If he looks like he's going to give LO food, or asks again, say no firmly, adding "His doctor says six months is the earliest for food". Personally I would go as far as going and getting the baby right away so that he doesn't have the chance to disrespect you, and if he protests, just say in a cheerful tone, "Sorry Stan, last time you asked and I said no, you couldn't help yourself, so I'm just getting in first this time."

 

[jasslot]

I'd firmly say no and educate them what could have happened (eg. allergies n stuff).

 

[MrsT&Ben]

Pizza and icecream??? What is the matter with some people? My mil wanted to give chocolate as a Christmas present to my 4 month old daughter she was told a very firm no. She doesn't like me all that much so I'm not overly bothered if I upset her over weaning. My child my rules.
Tough situation but stand your ground.

 

[Brightxeyes]

I would have flipped! Your baby hasn't even been weened onto baby food never mind about adult food. And pizza.. Cake? Wtf

Next time they try it and you say no and they insist say 'don't disrespect my wishes'

Makes it a clear no, and that you're in charge of your babies feeding habits.

 

[Brightxeyes]

Plus I think it's wrong for someone to take away your babies 'firsts'.

Like the first time you sit your baby down to try some baby food rather than milk. It's bonding, it's special. It's ours. Not someone else's moment..

 

[staralfur]

I would be having a serious discussion with them about this. It's not okay to disrespect your wishes, and I would be livid.

I'd probably say something along the lines of "I've done the research and come to the conclusion that waiting until six months to introduce solids is the best choice. As the mother, that is my conclusion to make," and then maybe offer to print off some info from any number of health orgnanizations that recommend exclusively breastfeeding/no solids until 6 months.

I'm pretty relaxed about most things but weaning was one I was a real stickler on and I had to have a similar discussion with my MIL. Thankfully she understood, if she had continued to blatantly disregard what I wanted for my own child I think I would have had a very difficult time having my LO around her without watching them like a hawk.