In two minds about gender!

[xCookieDoughx]

I'm not entirely sure where to start as my head is all over the place! And I feel stupid for feeling how I do.

Basically I have one beautiful boy who is 23 months. Me and OH are NTNP at the moment and just going with the flow.

I have suffered a couple of losses in the past and we have always been under the impression that due to my hormone imbalance, I can't carry girls. I accepted this when I was pregnant with my son and was just happy to be having a healthy baby.

But now we are sort of planning another, I feel almost heart broken that it's highly likely to be another boy. People ask me if we will try for a girl and I have to force a smile and say 'oh no, I'll be happy with all boys' but I know in my heart that I long for a little girl.

Does anyone know how I can make this ache go away? I want to be able to relax when i eventually get pregnant again, not feel on edge cause of the gender

I feel so stupid writing this but I can't help how I feel

 

[Eleanor ace]

. When you say that you are under the impression you cna't carry girls, is that something you have been told by your doctor or more of a guess? If it is a medical diagnosis I would try to focus on the fact that you will have a boy, as you sadly wouldn't be able to have a girl, and try to come to terms with that before ttc.Some things that might help you (some of these will probably sound stupid but I'm just throwing them out there!)
- Look at cute baby boy clothes
- Talk to people who have 2 boys about how awesome that brotherly bond canbe
- Talk to adult men who have a brother about what they appreciate about having a brother
- Plan a nursery fit for a little prince
- Remind yourself of all the lovely things about having a baby (the squishy cuddles, the lovely new baby smell,watching them grow and develop) and focus on having those things, rather than not having a girl.

If you are working on an assumption that you can't have a girl maybe talk to your doctor about whether that is likely to be the case, so that you know the situation before you go into ttc? And then if you find that there is a chance you could have a girl I'd still suggest preparing yourself for a boy and thinking of all the fab things about boys, but at least you might not stress so much about ttc?
Good luck!

 

[lauraemily17]

I desperately wanted my second & last to be a girl. There's a little girl imagined inside my head who I really wanted to meet.

It wasn't meant to be though as I've just had my second boy & you know what, I am completely ok with that.

I had a gender scan at 16 weeks to find out ASAP so I could get over the disappointment & I'm so glad I did. Yes I was sad, I cried quite a bit & then felt awfully guilty about it which just made me cry more but, after about 2 weeks I came to terms with it. I basically needed time to mourn the loss of the little girl in my head. As time went by I got really excited about a second boy & the relationship he'd have with DS1. I've always thought same sex siblings have a closer bond and hope that they'll grow up the best of friends.

Now he's here the gender disappointment is forgotten. I have my 2 amazing boys, our family is complete & I couldn't be happier!

 

[motherofboys]

I have been told that unless you carry a genetic disorder that only affects girls (meaning you could carry her but she may not survive, and theres still a chance you won't pass that condition to her so could still have a healthy girl)then theres no reason a woman can not carry a girl. Some women can not carry boys as their body will view the Y chromosome as something which shouldn't be there and reject it, causing them to lose the baby. But as girls are XX, the same as their pregnant woman, that wont happen.

I have 4 boys and sadly there isn't anything you can do to make that feeling go away. It takes time and acceptance, and focusing on positives. Eventually you come to accept how things are but still have days when you wish you could have a girl too.
All I will say is once you are pregnant the baby is who they are, and who ever that is, you will love them.