Inactive Husband?

Atuck2

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I don't know what to make of this...
So we began trying last year and ended up with a miscarriage. I wasn't emotionally ready after that, so we just kept NTNP. Then we had a weird cycle last month (I'm convinced I was going crazy, DH is convinced I had a chemical/early miscarriage). He is now DEVASTATED and doesn't even want to mention babies. He says he still wants one, but he says he can't handle the roller coaster that this has begun and just wants to be left uninformed.

I know that we have barely started and I know it is a roller coaster to have to go on, but I just don't know how I feel about him checking out and being inactive in the whole process. Should this mean that we should really just wait to even try anymore if he isn't ready to be involved in the family planning? He keeps saying that he really wants a child, but cannot get emotionally invested because he crashes so hard... He keeps apologizing and says that he wants me to have someone to talk to about all this, but he just doesn't know if it can be him at this time.

Anyone else have this experience? What did you do? What would you do? Is this a sign that he isn't ready?
 
My DH doesnt want to know all the ins and outs. i tell him certain things BUT we have been trying for longer than you.

I tell him when i take any meds ( in case i have some crazy side effect and god forbid ended in the ER at least hed know what to tell them).
 
My DH didn't like talking about the TTC process, it would just stress him out. So I found us both were happier if we don't talk about it, keep things casual. If I really really need to talk, I can reach out friends, sisters, and my therapist. Honestly they are better at talking about that kind of stuff anyway. My DH is amazing at talking about so many things, but after a long day talking about uncertain things is not one of them.

You might find things more "light hearted" at home if you find another outlet to talk to. And only talk about things he really needs to know in the process. It might let him relax a little too and hopefully he'll be less cranky.
 
I have an inactive husband as well. I wish it were for a similar reason such as yours, but the truth is he just isn't interested. He would be happy not having kids, but knows I want one. I'll be 32 this year and don't want to wait any longer so we are more NTNP. I keep track of my cycle so I'm actually TTC, but he doesn't wanna know anything about it. So I keep all TTC stuff to myself.
 
I'm glad I'm not alone. I was starting to feel like I should just stop if he was so inactive, like he is secretly telling me that he can't handle any of this, including actually having a child together but too scared to say anything.
 

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