Infertility... please read

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by pixielou, Oct 21, 2008.

  1. pixielou

    pixielou Well-Known Member

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    It doesn't really matter if you believe in god or nature or fate. It just kind of fits.
    What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?”
    Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," or "things happen for a reason", of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.
    "These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?

    "What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?
    "I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.
    "No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less travelled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down.
    "Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

    "While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."
     
  2. DaisyDuke

    DaisyDuke Matilda Tasya's mum :)

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  3. Helen

    Helen ICSI Twins + miracle BFP

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    Thank you. I particularly like the line about thirst and a long drink. It felt particularly apt.
     
  4. polo_princess

    polo_princess ♥ Brookes Mummy ♥

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    :hugs:

    That was lovely, very refreshing to see such an attitude towards the whole subject of infertility
     
  5. missmarls

    missmarls Well-Known Member

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    Well said...I'd like to print out copies and hand them to people who make those remarks to me..
     
  6. natthecat

    natthecat 2 years TTC #1

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    you know I startde to read this and almost thought it was gonna be preachy and nearyl stopped after the first 2 lines, but, WOW that is truly beautiful! :)
     
  7. rachelle1975

    rachelle1975 And then there were 3!!

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    That is lovely and very true - don't think i could love DH more because of our 'fork in the road' :hug:
     
  8. HoneySunshine

    HoneySunshine * powered by fairy dust *

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    made me cry!! lovely! I can so relate to that!
     
  9. grover

    grover Well-Known Member

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    That is beautiful, made me cry. We've just failed our second round of IUI, but got to keepo trying, i guess.... even though its sooooo hard at times.
     
  10. jacky24

    jacky24 Mom of 37w2d Angel

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    Thank you, you said all the right words:hug:
     
  11. chefamy1122

    chefamy1122 hating infertility

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    Thank you for posting this. It really does help to know that other people understand:hugs:
     
  12. hopeful4baby

    hopeful4baby Please stay with us

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    So beautiful!! I still have a lump in my throat...

    I think I'll send it to all my "very sensitive" friends...

    thank you
     
  13. lonate

    lonate TTC #1 for 2 years

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    Wow, that is very moving. Thanks hun. Lets me know not to give up hope.

    :hugs:
     
  14. pixielou

    pixielou Well-Known Member

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    Glad you liked it, my friend sent it to me via face book and I also at first thought it was gonna be a bit cheesy but after reading, thought that it made sense and rang quite true!
     
  15. akcher

    akcher Mom to twins!

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    That was a lovely read. I could never have expressed it so well. Thank you for sharing.
     
  16. Trying4ever

    Trying4ever Well-Known Member

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    That was really nice and really true. I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I need help with my fertility after trying for nearly 2 years. My DH and I have become closer working on it together and I thinkthat's one of the reasons god decided to delay me getting pregnant ...to make sure I have a rock solid relationship with my DH and we can bring kids into this world to give our undivided love and attention to that we crave so much to give.
     
  17. FunnyBunny

    FunnyBunny Mummy 2 a gorgeous girl

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    What a lovely way of summing how a lot of us feels. I was just thinking the other day what lesson got is trying to teach me - is it patience perhaps or a true feeling of longing?

    Thanks for sharing.
     
  18. bryany1

    bryany1 Well-Known Member

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    Wat a lovely read that was and so true too. Myself and dh have become closer due to everything we have been through. Has made me cry reading this
     
  19. pink_glitter

    pink_glitter Well-Known Member

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    Fab - although i do not belive in a religion/god, i believe it has brought DH and I close together and when i hold my first born in my arms they will be SO special and the wait and stress i have had to undergo will disapear and it will all be worth it!

    x
     

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