inlaws!!! - rant

[missamoo]

we're currently stopping with dh's family as he's working with fil this week.ds is in a travel cot at the bottom of our bed and dd is on a blow up bed at the bottom of their bed.

last night i ended up sitting on the stairs cos they were watching something i really didn't want to watch, something quite disturbing, but they wouldn't turn it off and i had nowhere else to go - couldn't go to any of the bedrooms as kids asleep in them and otherwise there's just the kitchen.

before we came up mil made it perfectly clear that i sholdn't expect any help with the children, despite the fact that she's not working presently, doesn't have anything else to do and i'm struggling with morning sickness.

then last night ds woke up about 5am and the only thing u can do with him is leave him to cry himself back to sleep, he's just one of those kids. well next thing i know there are doors slamming and sil (she's in her early 20's) is hammering on our door. I told her we knew he was awake but there's nothing to do about it, that's the only way he'll go back to sleep. so she slammed the door shut and slammed back into her room. i'm sorry her sleep got disturbed when she's got work early today but i'm hardly getting any sleep at the mo as ds is waking up with the dawn. me and dh are struggling to sleep in a double bed (we're used to a king) and he keeps nicking all the quilt and takes up all the bed. plus for some reason he wet the bed last night (dh not ds!!)

but i'm not allowed any allowances for sickness etc and dh always takes their side.

plus ds and dd are being particularly naughty so that's not helping.

i just wanna go home!

 

[mamato2more]

I would make it very clear that this will never happen again, you staying with them, as it's misery. No help? Fine..They can do everything else, and you just sit back and take care of your stuff, your kids..Your DH needs to stop worrying about his folks, and back you up..Man, I would just run from there...

 

[Janidog]

Can you not just pack the kids up and go back home and leave your OH there?

 

[Missy86]

yeah I would just take the kids and go if you can, you dont need the stress

 

[Brady40]

Well it sounds like you don't want to be there and they don't much like it either.

I can see it from both sides TBH - I think it would be best if you stay at home with the kids and your OH stays there if he needs to.

 

[missamoo]

but then how would dh get home? we live 100 miles away. he's recently lost his regular work so we're really strapped for cash. and the only good thing about being here is i'm not having to cook which, with the ms, would be really hard.
i gave them a few (6 dolly mixture) sweets this afternoon and she said they shouldn't be havinig them as they'd been naughty, implied i'd not given ds a drink all day and started muttering under her breath because i'd given ds his juice and she'd not heard him say thank you!

i'm going potty here!

 

[a_c]

I'd seriously just leave - your husband needs to support you!

 

[mordino]

I'd seriously just leave - your husband needs to support you!

Yeah, that is what I would want to do - take the kids and go home.

 

[missamoo]

unfortunately that's not really an option for me - i just need to be able to get thru the next few days. i was planning to take them out for days out so i wouldn't have to spend too much time with them but the morning sickness has been so bad i haven't been able to go out anywhere.

 

[Newt4]

I'd leave or tell you husband to talk to his family or your out of there.

 

[Linz88]

im sure coach wudnt e more than £20 for him

 

[NYCBride]

Personally, and I hope you dont take offence from this, but I would go back to my own home, with the kids where they can be around their own things.

Your MIL doesnt want to help with the kids, and thats fair enough, and her choice, imagine how your kids feel knowing (and they will know) that there is an atmosphere. Its not as if you're there for a fun holiday (which is no doubt obvious)...

Stressing out isnt going to help your morning sickness, being on edge etc, so perhaps your MS wouldnt be so bad if you were at home.

Your DH can stay there during the week and come home at weekends surely and give you a break from the kids.

I know it seems like your SIL was being mardy but be fair shes not used to having young kids in the house, waking up and crying like that, and suddenly there are another 4 people in the house, things are of course going to get tense....
She had to get up for work, and perhaps shes a bit annoyed because this new situation was just dropped on her? I'd be tempted to apologise to her for upsetting her sleep...

As for your sleeping arrangements, 4 people cramped up in one room, even if you are all family is going to be stressing everyone out if you're all used to your own space....
As for the duvet and bed thing with your DH..... just think of the nice big king bed you've got at home, that could be all yours!
And you said your DH wet the bed last night and not your DS.....?! Is that right?

 

[BoLt_InFeRnO]

i think if your DH can sit there and let his family treat you this way, you have a right to leave. he's a big boy and can make his own way home!!

 

[missamoo]

I did apologise to sil but it was the way she went round slamming doors.
i didn't manage to get online yesterday much as everyone else had the laptop!
things were improving yesterday but ds woke up again at 5.30 this morning - the curtains in the bedroom are really thin plus i think we disturb him a bit. and he spent the morning working out how to climb out of his travel cot!!! so i can't even leave him there anymore!
the inlaws are improving but the situation is still terrible. but the ms is so bad there's no way i could drive 2 hours home, plus stops for me and dd to go the loo.
i'm stuck here until dh says we can go

 

[Lellow]

And you said your DH wet the bed last night and not your DS.....?! Is that right?

Thats what i wondered but im sure she meant DS not DH?!!

You know what Misamoo - Im afraid your only option is going to be to stick it out...Its only for a few days as you say so grin and bear it....Make light of every issue and dont leave on bad terms just incase you ever need to return there or need there help.

As for morning sickness....I was exactly like you , unable to do anything and i finally gave in and saw GP who prescribed me travel sickness tablets....Im fine now....Infact perfect!!!

 

[missamoo]

no, it was dh!!!!!!!! dunno where that came from, weve been married 5 years, never happened before!!

boy was awake at 5.10 this morning
going home tomorrow

 

[MrsGlitz]

If your morning sickness is so bad and lasts all day you should pay your GP a visit.

 

[missamoo]

thing is i'm never actually sick, i just feel nauseaus all day.
its been a bit better these last 2 days.

 

[NYCBride]

in that case if it was DH, perhaps he's suffering from stress? Did it wake him up, or did he just sleep in a wet bed?

I know feeling poo takes a lot out of you, but I really think after the 2 hour drive, once ur home, and the weight is lifted, you'll feel a lot better....
Have you tried sea bands for sick feeling?
I have mine still from feeling sick up till 16 weeks, if you pm me your address, I'll happily post them to see if they help.... theyre used but youre welcome to them xx

 

[subaru555]

I understand everyone is telling you to leave and of course that would be the best option. Unfortunately you can't and that's a shame but you really need to confront your mil. I did this before and it caused a huge arguement but then now it's quite good because they (IL's) know that I won't have the piss taken out of me.

Perhaps if your shy just approach your mil calmly and mention to her that you are trying your best to get on with things there but you really would appreciate it if she left you to it since she told you she didn't want to help.

If she does mutter anything to you I would turn right round to her and say excuse me? I would personally make HER feel embarrassed because she's clearly just trying to make you uncomfortable and take the piss out of you.

Stand your ground mummy!

x