Insensitive ''oh''

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by Browning, Jan 31, 2011.

  1. Browning

    Browning Mother of Krystal NTNP #2

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    Hello everyone on B&B i am currently 5 + week expecting my 1st bean:happydance:. My 'OH' can't understand why i want a early scan:growlmad:. I want to have a early scan for a bit of reassurance that everything is alight. I keep reading a lot of horror stories on here and i am freaking myself out of what can go wrong:cry: I know deep down in my heart everything is fine with my baby.I am so mad he such a insensitive jerk:cry:. I thought he would be happy to see his lil bean but i was wrong.:hugs:. I am so mad i don't want to speak to him or see him right not ever :growlmad: Am i overreacting? :shrug: I can't see myself spending the rest of my life with someone who is such a xxxx:growlmad: Sorry for the rant...:hugs:
     
  2. tikaani

    tikaani Guest

    me and OH had a bit of a argument over a early scan but once i told him it will be march till i have any appointment at all he was all for it, but it took a while. I dont think men tend to understand the possibilities of something going wrong and how protective we get straight away. They think if its there its there!!!
    If it will reasure you i would go ahead and do it any way, no skin of his nose really!
     
  3. bumpno1

    bumpno1 Well-Known Member

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    me n my OH actually split up 3 days after finding out because he was being such an insensitive C*** !!! but we're okay now, men just dont understand what its like, as he keeps telling me, its inside me and i can feel it, to him it doesnt feel real yet.
    men are generally quite insensitive anyway and ur hormones are probably making u even more angry lol dw about it, when u get the scan and he see's the bub for real i bet it will change everything !! :)
     
  4. Browning

    Browning Mother of Krystal NTNP #2

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    Hello tikkani he knows am unlikely to get a scan till around 13-14 weeks in London. I am 5+ weeks that's nearly 2 months wait i am not waiting two months to see my baby i don't give a fuck.The only reason i told him i wanted to do a early scan because i thought its his baby and he got the right to know and i though that he would have showed some interest in seeing his baby.I don't care if he understands he should understand that i am worry i am super paranoid and i need some reassurance i don't care how much it cost for my peace of mind. I am going to do a scan and he not invited i ain't going to keep him posted on my progress throughout this pregnancy he can go straight to hell.
     
  5. Browning

    Browning Mother of Krystal NTNP #2

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    Hello bumpno1 i feel like splitting up with him and this time for good. When it comes to the welfare of my baby i am not letting anyone make it out to be trivial matter. [email protected] c*** tell me about it. My OH is super patronising too 'u wanted baby and i gave you baby and all you do is complain'' shut the **** up lol. I don't need to hear no patronising bullshit. He not invited to the scan and further scans i am not going to keep him inform on my progress. He had his chance and he blow it.:hugs: Hope u have a successful pregnancy
     
  6. bumpno1

    bumpno1 Well-Known Member

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    well if thats what you decide then good luck to you but im sure you'll change ur mind when you calm down!

    I got ''All u wanted from me was my sperm now you've got it you dont give a s*** about me!!'' hahaha. cuz i kept havin a go at him and he couldnt understand why.

    MEN!!!!!!
    once it sinks in to them everything will get better. xx
     
  7. Browning

    Browning Mother of Krystal NTNP #2

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    Thank you bumpno1 its only so much a person can take. To be honest i was thinking of splitting up with him before i got pregnant now i don't care that i am having his baby as far as am concern this is my baby and he can take a flying jump lol I am not going to let him spoil my happiness i am so thankful to God blessing me with this baby and that's all i care about. [email protected] you wanted was his sperm, well i guess that makes him a sperm doner he's done his job now so can piss off back under the rock he crawl out lol. It suppose to sink in now i am carry your blood a part of you and you can't get your head around that, are you a man or a mouse lol I hope things work out the best for you and you have a great pregnancy.:hugs: I am actually a very happy person but he brings out the worst in me lol:growlmad:
     
  8. bumpno1

    bumpno1 Well-Known Member

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    No its not like that at all lol he just took my hormones too personally n didnt know why i kept snapping at him. everythings calmed down now though he's gotten his head around it and we're both being more understanding to how the other one is feeling, as i guess it affects men and women differently in the first stages.

    anyway it sounds like he does bring out the worst in you so do what you need to do and good luck to you in ur pregnancy:) x
     
  9. Chelsmeister

    Chelsmeister New Member

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    My fiance is like that. He doesn't really understand anything. But one things for sure he really does care about his kid. But it just seems that men are so.... Insensitive. They never understand anything unless you spell it out for them. Sigh... He drives me crazy. It doesn't help that I am abit... Well.. Hormonal for that matter. I can understand the frustration though. But hey... Give him some time. He will come to his senses. Trust me. :p Have a great pregnancy.
     
  10. scots_mum

    scots_mum Expecting no2

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    Got to be honest here, if you were thinking of splitting with him before getting pregnant, why didnt you? as much as you say its 'my' baby its his too 50 -50% men cant really understand how early pregnancy feels and as much as i feel your concerns as im 5 weeks too in part i can agree with him. An early scan at this stage wouldnt show much or reduce the risk of miscarriage if its going to happen thats why scans are typically done at 12 ish weeks. I dont mean to have a go i totally get how scary it is being early in pregnancy and not knowing whats going on in there.
     
  11. princess_bump

    princess_bump Happy Wife & Mumma!

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    i'm sorry to hear of OH's not being supportive. this is the time when you need to both be 'on the same page' so to speak. bringing a child up together is the biggest test to any relationship imo, it's the most wonderful thing ever, but still hard as well.
    my hubby is the one that suggested the early scan, we had one with our daughter and he just wants some reassurance, which i do agree with. hopefully one your OH's hear that magical heart beat they will feel differently :hugs: xx
     
  12. XKatX

    XKatX Well-Known Member

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    Maybe your OH is just as scared. Seeing your baby and then, God forbid, something were to happen, maybe too much for him. Men deal with things differently, so maybe he doesn't want to become too attached until the highest risk part of the pregnancy is over.
     
  13. 05mummy07

    05mummy07 Well-Known Member

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    If an early scan will put YOUR mind at rest then go for it, some men just don't understand our fear and concerns I'm afraid, it's not them personally going through every twinge etc xxx
     
  14. Amygdala

    Amygdala Well-Known Member

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    I think you need to have a deep breath and think about what's best for your baby. When they're older, they're going to want to know their dad. Whether you stay in a relationship with him or not, deciding to not keep him informed about your pregnancy over something as trivial as a disagreement over a scan is very rash and really unfair to your baby. I could understand if he hit you or was otherwise dangerous but from what you've said so far there's no reason to assume he's not going to be a good dad. Men just deal with stuff differently. But you have to realize that even though you're carrying this baby, it's still 50% his. You have no more or less right to be in the child's life than he does. And your child deserves to know BOTH his/her parents. It's not about what you think of this guy anymore, it's about what's best for your child. And if you really find him so unbearable to be around, maybe you should have picked a different father for your baby. Now it's him and you should do the right thing and let him be a part of your baby's life. For your baby's sake.
     
  15. bumpno1

    bumpno1 Well-Known Member

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    Thats true babys/ children/ teenagers Need their fathers in their life.
    you may do fine without him but your child will need him and want him and could develop issues later in life
    im speaking from experience here and i know that if anything should happen to me and my oh i would allow him regular access,, 2/3 times a week so he can form a strong bond with our child and i guarantee the child will be happier throughout life.
     
  16. Browning

    Browning Mother of Krystal NTNP #2

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    Hello Scots_mum thank you for your honesty. We have been on and off for 13 months now, when we split up he always beg me to take him back, he always tell me he going to change he not going to make me :cry: anymore and like a fool i believe him:dohh:. I wanted a baby that's why decided to try for a baby. I got a good job, money in my bank account, supportive family. I am not going to sponge of the states whether single or not. My OH has a child from a previous relationship and he looks after his daughter. I know 100% he wold look after this baby.Don't get me wrong i am 100% happy about this baby i am just :nope: upset with my ''OH'' behaviour. I want a early scan for a bit of reassurance for my peace of mine and a lot of people say they might have not seen a 'heart beating' at this stage but they see something that shows that you are pregnant. I pray to God i might be one of the lucky ones who see a heart beating away, I just thought my ''OH'' would have been more supportive of my decision because like everyone saying this baby is 50% his. I don't look at a baby as a possession anyway. My baby was created by me and my ''OH'' its not my or his possession. Like everything else it belongs to God whether u believe in him or not
     
  17. Browning

    Browning Mother of Krystal NTNP #2

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    Thank you princess_bump nothing to be sorry about at least now i know what type of man he is, well he ain't going to get a chance to see or hear my baby heart beating. He had his chance and he's blow it. :hugs: Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy
     
  18. Browning

    Browning Mother of Krystal NTNP #2

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    Kat and i am not scared? Maybe he should try and put hisself in my position. I am expecting my first child i am on:cloud9: but very scared:nope: at the same time. That's a ''cop'' out ''Men deal with things differently'' i hear from men on here who OH are expected the love that they show to they partner is unbelievable they might be scared but they put that aside to be a supportive shoulder for they OH. Men don't deal with things different, if you a kind hearted man before your OH is with child, you will be the same kind hearted man when your wife is pregnant and hormonal. thank you H&H to you:hugs:
     

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