Insensitive things people say!! Urgh

[Melisa1985]

So I noticed during my pregnancy people are so freaken insensitive towards pregnant women. It's pissing me off so bad. Some of the worst things I heard are.

- "What do you have twins in there?" (pissed me off so bad, but I responded with a smile, and said "yes it's two baby girls...meanwhile im only having one baby and the woman that said it to me was aware of it)

- "You got fat" ( a 17 yr old said to me, which pissed me off so bad where are the manners??...my hubby is like she is young can't process what she is saying, I'm sorry but i dont buy that, at 17 I knew right from wrong and not to disrespectful toward people like that...Pregnant or not, you do not tell someone they got fat...so she pissed me off and i said "yeah maybe I did, but im pregnant, whats ur excuse for getting fat" meanwhile my mom is telling me i shouldnt have said that, really! im so fed up with people and thinking they can say whatever the hell they please to )

-"Your roots grew out" (oh yes i noticed when i looked myself in the mirror this morning, but dont wanna dye them bc of chemicals, I'M PREGNANT FOR GODS SAKES, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE)

- "Oh you are really showing now" (my response to that was, of course I'm! im having a baby next month)

- " aren't you scared that a babies head and arms and everything is gonna come out of your vagina"....(yeah im sure that was something that my friend should have said to me when my due date is approaching and she sees im pregnant and i believe im aware of where the baby will come out, no need to point it out. people are soooooooooo ANNOYING)

SOOOOOO SICK OF PEOPLE WITH THEIR RUDE/ INSENSITIVE COMMMENTS AND QUESTIONS. What is wrong with people? don't they understand a pregnant women goes through enough as it is, does she really need all this. I feel like if people don't have anything nice to say, they shouldn't say anything at all. & I can't believe all these comments are coming from other women, some that have been through pregnancy and have children and know what we are going through. It's really disgusting.

What are some things that have been said to you?

 

[MrsGards]

I've had nearly all of the above, its horrible. My mil knocked on my door a while ago and instead of "hi how are you" I got "wow you've got massive" so I shut the door on her. People seem to think because your pregnant its a right to ask stupid questions and touch your tummy, it makes me so cross. But its okay because in 8 weeks people will then think its ok to ask questions about baby and out there dirty finger in babies mouth (happened with dd) and proceed to tell you your dd is hungry. Lol, can laugh now, I did not at the time!!

 

[TwoRdue]

I got told today from one of my oh familyt members that I looked like a umpa lumpa.. well I dont think she will say anything again. I had asked my oh to make sure that know one says anything towards been fat or how much I have grown (26lbs so far) but he never got a chance to set her straight before I did. His aunty then says wow you have grown since I last saw you "really?? well I am growing a baby and the home stretch is where you pop the most"... makes me so angry

 

[ukgirl23]

Ive had all the above.. I do the school run twice a day and I usually get... wow you look tired and uncomfortable.. which is the worst Ive had because I feel the need to go home and put make up on when I really cba... I dont mind people I know touching my bump they are excited for me and usually ask first so Im not too fussed..

as for the comments they are pretty standard things that people say to pregnant women.. someone say wow youre big others say wow youre small. I take it with a pinch of salt and dont let it get to me. Just smile and tell them some random info about my pregnancy and carry on with my day.

its not worth getting so upset about!

 

[maggie111]

Gosh, I think there's a lot of pregnancy hormones in this thread!

Most people like to seem observant so they do come out with some insensitive comments. And they want to be involved in your pregnancy, and that can mean making a comment on it that they can relate too - the main one being how they see you and to say you've grown!

I met up with 6 friends last night who I hadn't seen in a month, I loved all their "huge" comments - they're my friends and they love me and they want to share in the fun!

If someone were to say to the baby after he's been born "Wow haven't you grown?!" you wouldn't be offended on his behalf that people were calling him fat would you??

 

[Erinsmummy]

Oh yes I feel the same, just made a thread " why?! Just a rant" x

 

[TwoRdue]

It can be depended on who says it and how they mean it... my hubbys family can say things that are not nice. Once when I put on a little weight on family member came up and poke my belly and said nice chesse rolls you have there and laughted so I tend to take affence when they say anything towards my pregnancy weight.
My mum pointed out how my face looks chubbier and I liked it as I know how it was meant and my nan kept saying I love it I love it ... referring to my bump and that made my day.
When hormones are high and you are feeling fat and uncomftable its also hard to hear as well.

 

[Dani_Ldn]

- you really need to stop eating you know ( said as a joke by someone artwork, but really hurt my feelings)

- wow, you still have 2 months to go, are you carrying twins or something ( said by a complete random I don't know who came to my work for an interview!!) I told our recruiter under no circumstances was she to hire him!

- you used to be so thin ( said by a friend who is not so close a friend anymore)

- aren't you scared that you re going to have to push that thing out ( said by a guy at work who I barely know)

- you are that big & only 7 months, you are going to have a 12 pounder for sure

It is very rude & very annoying, I would never make any comments like this to anyone pregnant whether I knew them or not!


Luckily I have not had anyone touch my belly, only a few friends have & they always Sk first

 

[hulagirl]

My supposed best friend was the worst.
While pregnant with my first she said " wow you got massive,bet you got loads of stretch marks" and "do you miss being attractive"

Now with my 2nd she said only last night " wow your so much bigger than with our first, good luck with losing that weight"

Funnily enough I don't have much to do with her anymore.
I wouldn't mind but a haven't actually put on any weight yet.

Sorry crashing from 2nd tri. X

 

[dozydormouse]

My nephew, in all innocence, said that he hoped everything went ok with the baby and that it didn't die afterwards like his teacher's did. I thanked him, managing to keep a straight face, and said I was sure it would be fine.

Then he asked, little face (aged 8 btw) all serious, "what will you do if it DOES die?" I just had to say we'd deal with that if it happened and changed the subject back to putting his shoes on!

I honestly didn't mind at all, thankfully I was more amused than anything else! Especially as I found out immediately afterwards that my sis in law, in the toilet close by, heard every word and was thinking "nooooo, just stop talking son!" she was so apologetic afterwards and did try to get him to think about what he says first.

But, unless they start off asking questions and saying the wrong thin when they're little, how are they going to know what (not) to say when they're older?!

 

[Mazzle]

Best so far- 'so, was this an intentional pregnancy?' (From a near stranger at work)

WTF?? DID YOU JUST ASK ME IF MY BABY WAS AN ACCIDENT? How is that your business???

 

[Mummy_to_be87]

My mum said to me last night ''You didnt even look pregnant with your DD, she was only 6lbs but look how massive you are...it might be a 10lb baby in there!!'' seriously from my own mother!!

My OH LOVES to point out that I am putting on weight on my face and puffs his cheeks out and tells me ''its like looking in a mirror!!''

One day I decided to walk the 1 mile journey into town, I felt great at being able to do this and I needed to stop ONCE going down the hill...My OH says ''why dont you just tuck your arms and head in and roll down the hill''

Another of my hates is being called ''Humpty Dumpty!!'' by my OH all the time!! I try to not let it show but it sort of annoys me!!

Then my OH has lost some weight and loves to brag about it and I say ''I wont be huge forever'' as I plan on getting fit after the baby comes and he says ''what? like you did the last time!! haha'' I wasnt laughing and I DID loss 1 stone after my first!!

My sister would joke about me popping but she loves that stage!!

People are so mean towards pregnant women!!

 

[mandaxx]

I don't find any of those type of comments that bad because they are just things people say because they can't think of anything else. The one thing I do hate is people telling me they bet I'm dying to have a boy this time because I have two girls. Erm, no, ill just be thankful no matter what.

 

[mandaxx]

My nephew, in all innocence, said that he hoped everything went ok with the baby and that it didn't die afterwards like his teacher's did. I thanked him, managing to keep a straight face, and said I was sure it would be fine.

Then he asked, little face (aged 8 btw) all serious, "what will you do if it DOES die?" I just had to say we'd deal with that if it happened and changed the subject back to putting his shoes on!

I honestly didn't mind at all, thankfully I was more amused than anything else! Especially as I found out immediately afterwards that my sis in law, in the toilet close by, heard every word and was thinking "nooooo, just stop talking son!" she was so apologetic afterwards and did try to get him to think about what he says first.
But, unless they start off asking questions and saying the wrong thin when they're little, how are they going to know what (not) to say when they're older?!

That's a really positive way of looking at what he said. I think you handled that beautifully! Most people would crack up and be angry, forgetting that he's only a child and they don't understand. He sounded genuinely concerned and you taught him well. Good on his mum too xx

 

[BabyUrq]

i'm getting tired of the size comments....i get them all the time at work from coworkers and customers....i've had customers asking if i'm close to my due date since 5 months!!!! that really bothered me and there's still ppl doing that now and i still have two more months to go!! i'm short and i've pretty much only gained in my belly so far so i think it must make me look bigger than i am....i measure on track at doctors visits with weight and belly measurements...
my hubby is 6'7" so i get that i'm probably going to have a long baby but even he was only 8lbs when he was born but he was 24" long...
my mother is constantly asking if i've asked the doctors about a scheduled c-section because its gonna be a big baby!! my answer to that is if there was anything to worry about delivery and the size of the baby the doctors would tell me and bring it up themselves or it will just be something that happens during delivery!!
i really don't feel as big as ppl are telling me i look!!!

another thing i'm tired of is ppl TELLING me its a boy based on the way i'm carrying!! that's really starting to piss me off most of all....we didn't find out the sex for a reason and yes its fun for us to imagine either one but ppl TELLING us what we are having is rude and defeats the purpose of us trying to keep it a surprise....i know that we're going to have a ton of "i told you so"'s if it is a boy!!....i know we will be happy with either a boy or a girl but its starting to make me hope its a girl just out of spite and i hate feeling that way!!

 

[Tiger22]

What annoys the crap out of me is my best friend every time I see her she comments on " how small my belly is" "aww your little bump" maybe it's a good thing im smaller but it really annoys me!!! It makes me feel like she's saying something's wrong with the baby!

 

[Mica]

Here are a few that rubbed me the wrong way:

"How far along are you? Really??!! You're so tiny/small!" Maybe people wouldn't think that would be insulting or upsetting, but it really is! I don't want to be worried about how much weight I'm gaining. The doctor says I'm on track, nothing to worry about. But when I'm looking at other pregnant ladies, and most are bigger than I am, and then everyone tells me that I'm too small, I can't help but fret over whether I've gained enough weight and then I worry about the baby.

I hate it when people chalk things up to hormones. I honestly don't feel like I've had a lot of mood swings or been overly sensitive. It's only happened a few times, but basically people trying to downplay my reaction to a situation because I'm pregnant and "hormonal."

Or when there are kids in the vicinity, acting hyper, or throwing tantrums, or making a mess or whatever, friends look at me and ask "Are you ready for that?" Of course I don't expect that having a baby is just going to be a walk in the park, but I don't want to have the expectation that it's going to be nothing but tantrums and puke and obnoxiousness.

This last one is just kind of a funny/wtf comment. I'm white, and my husband is Hispanic, so I have wondered aloud - as have others - what the baby's going to look like. (I can't wait to find out!) Well, two different people have said to me "Maybe he'll be black!" Seriously?!?! People are so silly.

I know that people aren't trying to be offensive. They're just making conversation. I don't really let it get to me that much. It's funny how aloof people seem to be about the things they say to pregnant ladies though!

 

[Sarahrei]

Yeah you've gotta love it eh?

"You look like you swallowed a basket ball!"

Nice thing to say to a pregnant woman who's gained 40 lbs...

 

[cupcake0406]

I haven't been bothered by any comments this pregnancy however before I had my daughter we had a missed miscarriage and a short while after I told my friend that we wanted another baby following the miscarriage and she said to me 'don't get fat like you did last time though, I mean AS fat' I was so so angry, i was a size 10 and went up to a 12 I hardly think that is fat! Plus she was a size 12 anyway! All that after going through a traumatic experience and losing a baby. Gosh I could have kicked her!

 

[mandaxx]

Flip, yeah she needed kicked by the sound of it! You should have said don't worry I won't get as fat as you he he x