irrational feelings!

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by SianMA, Dec 23, 2009.

  1. SianMA

    SianMA Mum to Ryan TTC#2

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    I am dreading Christmas day! We are staying at my parents house which will be fine but will be spending the morning at my in-laws with DHs parents and his sister adn her husband.

    DHs parents are fine, althought I don't like goign there much as they are both heavy smokers. They have been amazing since I was pregnant, they never smoke in the room with me (I actually feel mean as they go outside their own home when we're there) but the house still often smells smokey which transfers onto Ryans hair/ clothes/ caarseat etc.

    Also his SIL who wants to constantly cart Ryan around like a doll is a heavy smoker and she hardly ever washes her hands after smoking and always goes right up to Ryans face with her smokey breath!

    Poor Ryan stinks when we leave there adn I hate it but how do I ask them to change their clothes when holding him or to wash their hands more often without seeming like an obsessed mother??

    I used to smoke btu would never hold a baby next to clothing I had been smoking in but none of them seem to consider it abnormal at all!! i just don;t know what to say to them.
     
  2. Lara+sam+bump

    Lara+sam+bump Well-Known Member

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    I know where your comin from and in an ideal world yes they shud change their clothes/wash hands. My Mum smokes, but not in the house, so I dont hav the problem of the house stinking and making him smell. But she smells when she holds him, but I dont say anything cos its rare that he's exposed to it as neither me or OH smoke, and my Mum loves Noah and is amazing with him, I owe alot to her. So I think sometimes even tho its not ideal you need to let things go. xxxx
     
  3. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    My Mum wears the most god awful perfume that makes me feel sick. It transfers onto everything and hubby is mildly allergic to it too. Before she holds Earl I get her to use babywipes to take off her perfume as I have said he is 'sensitive' to these things and I'd prefer him not to have a reaction. She does this without question now.

    I have it on very good authority that baby wipes are good at getting rid of smoke on hands and faces (my hubby smoked when he was a teenager and used to do this to hide it! :dohh:). Maybe you could say that he's had a bit of a chest on him and you'd prefer it if they would wipe their hands, neck, face etc before going near him. Pop a bottle of febreze into the changing bag and when you've left give his carseat a spray while he's out of it later that day. Get the women to wear their hair back too as this can harbour the fumes.

    You are quite within your rights to expect them to not expose your baby to the fumes and the chemicals linger on their clothes just as much as if they were smoking in front of him.
     
  4. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    My FIL (who lives with us) and my mother (who lived with us to care for LO for several months and will be returning soon) both smoke.

    The rules:
    Only outside or in the garage
    Never around the baby
    Always wash your hands and change your shirt before holding the baby
    For my mom: Pull your hair back and don't let LO's face near it.

    Full stop. Those are the rules. If they don't like it, they don't get to hold him.

    It wasn't easy enforcing those rules. Especially in the beginning. I felt like an orge and everyone that I have had to tell those rules to (even uncles and such) get all offended and think I am being cray and silly.

    I just stick to my guns and say, "Fine, think I am crazy. Maybe I am. But those are the rules."

    Good luck, hon. This is not an easy thing! :hugs:
     
  5. Snowball

    Snowball Resident badass

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