Is anyone else finding being happy for others hard at the moment?

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by Dahl36, Apr 5, 2011.

  1. Dahl36

    Dahl36 Active Member

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    Hii Ladies

    I thought I'd "move in" from the TTC forum - DH and I have been TTC for 15 months with nothing - and so far this year it seems everyone has been at it and I think my excitement for others is wearing a bit thin now - we had another surprise announcement this morning that another good friend of ours is 12 weeks and I've just spent all morning in tears feeling so rubbish, I just hadn't expected their news so soon and as much as I really am pleased for them of course, I am so jealous and sad it's horrid, it just makes me think of all the time that's flying by - what's worse is all our friends with BFP's are all due in September which is when dh and I had originally said when we first started TTC that we'd really like a mini-us.

    None of our friends really know we're TTC so I just stick a great big smile on and be all excited but feel awful inside for a little while - something I'm sure lots of you can relate to sadly - it's just so unfair... I don't know how many more I can do just at the moment - and I don't know if it's just me but it seems that BFP's are everywhere at the moment - is anyone else finding that?

    Now, self-indulgent rant over with - thank you :) xx

    Me - Diagnosed with polycystic ovaries last month
    DH - first SA results; good count etc but 0% normal morph, currently awaiting forms for a re-test
     
  2. KittyCat82

    KittyCat82 Well-Known Member

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    I could have written this myself! We are on month 13 but ntnp for two months prior so 15 in total-nothing seems to be wrong with either of us. EVERYONE seems to be pregnant or giving birth at the mo. I am having to stay off facebook as it gets to me! A lot of our friends are hubbys age (33) so that makes me feel better ( I am 28) but now my friend whose my age told me yesteday she is 12 weeks and is not happy as it wasnt planned etc which irrationally annoyed me!

    I spoke to hubby who quite rightly said, you cant stop other people getting pregnant and hopefully our day will come..not to far away.

    It does make me feel like a bitch and I try and be grateful for what I have but its also about self preservation sometimes x
     
  3. Dahl36

    Dahl36 Active Member

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    KittyCat82 - my hubby said the exact same thing this morning x
     
  4. ao30

    ao30 Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: I think most of us have that same feeling too... pregnant bellies everywhere!

    I have a friend who found out by accident that we are TTC... a week after asking me about it, she and husband decided they were ready for #2. She got pregnant right away. It is so surreal to watch her stomach grow; to find out that she is having a girl; to hear the baby's name... it's going to be so strange to go to that hospital room and hold a baby that was conceived and born in less time than it is taking us to even get pregnant.

    Still, I try to remember that there's a reason for things. I firmly believe that our child/children will come eventually. They're just taking their sweet time.
     
  5. Rivetkitten

    Rivetkitten Well-Known Member

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    I was reading the news the other day, and it seemed like every celebrity was showing off their new bumps. You want to feel happy for them. Friends who accidently fall pregnant at a drop of a hat while on BC, I do want to feel happy for them, but they have no concept of how difficult it is to watch their bump pictures on FB, their scan pictures, hear about how happy they are...

    The hardest one though to feel happy about is a friend who is pregnant with twins. She conceived her first in the first month we started NTNP, now she's 28weeks pregnant with twins and not a single drug used. I would give my life to fall pregnant that easily. I want to feel happy for her. I really do. But it's so heart breaking.
     
  6. navywife04

    navywife04 Well-Known Member

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    I completely feel your pain. We have been trying for 17 months now.. I was there when my best friend found out she was pregnant, watched her belly grow, and now has a 5 month old.. My sister is currently 23 weeks pregnant and got pregnant on their first try, same with a cousin who are both due with girls in the summer. I'm surrounded by pregnant women, and it just makes my heart ache!
     
  7. wifeyw

    wifeyw Well-Known Member

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    Hey girls,

    I too can relate to this it is so true and makes u feel awful. We were NTNP for 5 years taking the if it happens it happens but properly trying from Jan this year, to find out DH has no sperm in SA. the first test result got back in Jan and within them 2 weeks after My aunt told me she was trying and long behold she got PG, My 2 friends then found out they were which weren't planned... Then after my mum comes round to tell me that my sister who already has 1st in a rocky relationship and can't afford another is PG - i finally cracked after trying to keep smile on my face theres only so much u could take and i was in tears to my mum. Thing is u can't hold life back just because we are having problems i know that but it doesn't make it any easier on us girls who are finding it hard. Then whenever we turn on the TV theres all programmes about PG it is everywhere- It's always been there but we just haven't noticed it as much because we weren't finding it hard to have our own little bundle. I told my my mum i want to be so happy for my sister but at the same time how can i be happy for someone when we are so sad about that situation. I feel ur pain girls xx
     
  8. Dahl36

    Dahl36 Active Member

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    big :hugs: to us all - it's soo hard.. But here's keeping fingers crossed we all get our long awaited BFP soon xx
     
  9. cranberry987

    cranberry987 Mum after ttc 16 cycles

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    Hi

    Im also bitter and twisted about it all. been ttc 16 months now and Ive just had to break contact with my best friend because I found out shes 11 weeks preg at the first try. I feel angry at every pregnant woman or anyone with children that I see. Its destroying me.
     
  10. BlueBoo

    BlueBoo 3 angels

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    Hi ladies, god I am soooo with you on this one. I've been ttc 2 and a half years, had 2 mmc, diagnosed with endo and in this time I have watched my sister (who already has 2 teenagers) and sister-in-law both pop out beautiful girls within 2 weeks of each other, 2 months after my first mc, then my much younger brother announcing his girlfriend of less than a year expecting, which I now have to face in 6 weeks time. That's 3 new nieces in under a year while we sit by and have hospital appointment after appointment, operations, scans, near breakdowns etc etc. That's not counting the friends, celebrities, muppets on TV shows, every second person in the street showing off their bumps...

    The announcements from my sister and SIL caused a huge amount of upheaval in our family, I ended up staying away from the in laws at Christmas and falling out totally with my own sister for several months as I felt she didn't show any empathy for my situation. I was pleased for her but it was so so difficult for me to get all excited and involved in the pregnancy and she just didn't understand this. My brother, on the other hand, was amazingly understanding when he announced his news and was so concerned that it didn't upset me.

    I think with those closest it helps to explain to them (if you can) how heartbreaking it is to be in this situation as people really cannot begin to imagine the pain it causes. I wrote a letter to my sister in the end and, although it was pretty hard-hitting, I think it made her realise how much my fertility problems have affected my entire life and changed me as a person. People don't understand how it impacts on you all day every day. Now my sister and I are closer than ever.

    I think it is totally normal to feel like you can't bear to see or talk to people who seem to have something so easily that you want so desperately.
     

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