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Is CC/CIO now my only option?

Nurse told me that if u carry/hold ut baby a lot there is research that shows these babies become independent with high self esteem as they are secure in the knowledge that you will always be there for them...dont beat urself up...goodluck xxxx
 
I'm gonna be the minority here and tell you to definitely let him CIO. My dd was exactly like that at 6 months. I tried everything. I was up every 30 mins pacifying. One morning I went o our pediatrician in tears I was exhausted and decided that she may as well sleep with us forever. Well, the dr scolded me and told me to ferberized immediately orelse this would continue endlessly. I was reluctant but decided to give it a go. Dr advised baby go to bed by 7pm and that I don't go back in the room until 6am no matter what. I had a video monitor and watched her. It took 5 days. I put her down after her bath and bottle at 7pm and ofcourse she woke and cried for her pacifier. I stayed strong and the first night was hell she cried a lot and then every night after that the crying time became less and less until it stopped completely on 5 th day and she never ever ever uttered another peep at night since! Since then she slept 7pm-8am!!!!! Every single night. Best thing I ever did. She is nw 27 months and the happiest kid ever! We have an amazing bond! Dh and I are so happy we listened to the dr and will be doing the same with this baby too. Alll our friends followed ith their kids too and all of them sleep 13 hr nights with no waking. My daughter slept through: fevers, teething, colds u name it. She's a maters at self soothing. To understand the logistics I read " the sleep sense program" and honestly I can't tell you how happy we are that we did it and that she's slept in her own bed since. We have parties here all the time and my dd at 7pm waves goodnight and heads off to bed happily! If u want to keep your sanity I strongly advise that u give it a good go.
 
thanks everyone. i phoned the HV in tears yesterday and she came by today. she is going to speak to the GP to ask about the progress with the referral so I can get to the bottom of what's bothering him and I suppose if he gets the all clear from that then I will have to consider CIO/CC.

he's just crying most of the night now and i have no clue anymore if he's doing it so it because he's got into bad habits with his sleeping or he's in pain.

i'm feeling so despondent to be honest :(
 
honestly hunnie if there are no medical reasons for his waking, I don't think his naps are the issue. You may have to eliminate rocking to sleep. I'm a sleep training advocate at the right age (which your LO is at). Babies need their sleep and so do their mommies. Black circles under the eyes don't sound good :nope:

I would really advise against cc or CIO :( but I would say you should check out the book called 'no cry sleep solution' it's really good and gives you a good understanding into why a baby doesn't sleep much. It also tells you why you should avoid these cc/CIO methods :)

Good luck! X

No Cry Sleep Solution was my baby biggest purchase regret. So much so that I actually wrote my first Amazone review to bash it, eeeeek! My baby cried for longer and slept less when we tried Elizabeth' methods. She did however start to sttn 3 nights after doing cc and she still is. It's fine if you're a CC/CIO hater, but these methods do work for some families and every one is happier as a result.
 
honestly hunnie if there are no medical reasons for his waking, I don't think his naps are the issue. You may have to eliminate rocking to sleep. I'm a sleep training advocate at the right age (which your LO is at). Babies need their sleep and so do their mommies. Black circles under the eyes don't sound good :nope:

I would really advise against cc or CIO :( but I would say you should check out the book called 'no cry sleep solution' it's really good and gives you a good understanding into why a baby doesn't sleep much. It also tells you why you should avoid these cc/CIO methods :)

Good luck! X

No Cry Sleep Solution was my baby biggest purchase regret. So much so that I actually wrote my first Amazone review to bash it, eeeeek! My baby cried for longer and slept less when we tried Elizabeth' methods. She did however start to sttn 3 nights after doing cc and she still is. It's fine if you're a CC/CIO hater, but these methods do work for some families and every one is happier as a result.

I have been meaning to write a bad review for that book too, I actually read it twice because I thought am I missing something? I mean it goes into great lengths to explain the problem but actually has no real solutions.

I NEVER thought I would even be considering CC but honestly my baby, when you look at him, looks sleep deprived i swear he has dark rings under his eyes from never sleeping so if I rule out any medical reasons then I will have to resort to his.
 
Most if not all babies wake up in the night, yet in the case of those that "STTN" you would never know they have woken as they put themselves straight back to sleep again.

My LO was very similar to yours, woke 10-15 times a night and needed to be breastfed (for comfort) or rocked back to sleep and then carefully lowered into her cot without her waking up or else the whole process would start all over again.

Like you, I also read all the books and tried to understand why this was happening and what I could do to change it. So here's what I did...

Remove all sleep aids - this could be rocking, dummy, breast etc. Replace with a lovey or teddy if you think they might like it (my LO never took to one).

Golden rule: Don't take LO out of the cot.

Night 1: (I decided to move bedtime back 1hr on the first night as I knew she would be more receptive to it if she was more awake, if she was over tired she might have become more upset) Gave LO a bath, then feed, then story. Placed her into her cot (wide awake) and sat by the side of her cot with her. She played in there for a while, then she got tired and started to cry a little and was asking to be taken out. I left her in there but stayed by the side of the cot with my arm on the bars so that she could touch me, lean on me, hold my hand - whatever she wanted to do. There was a fair bit of protest and crying but it was all out of anger and frustration, I didn't see real tears once - just lots of shouting! She protested for around 2 and a half hours before eventually giving up and going to sleep. Night wakings on night 1 I treated as I normally would by feeding her back to sleep.

Night 2 and 3 - repeat the process. I remember thinking sometime around night 2 or 3 "this isn't working" and was tempted to quit, but just keep going!!

Night 4 (or whenever you feel ready) - Now apply the same theory to night wakings. When LO wakes, go in and sit by the side of the cot close enough to touch until they work out how to get themselves back to sleep.

By night 5 my LO was sleeping through the night for 12 hours without a peep. She has slept through the night every night since (it has been a few weeks now since we started).

I couldn't bring myself to do CC or CIO as I couldn't bear the thought of my LO crying all alone in her room, I was worried she would feel abandoned. That's why I decided to adapt it and that I would stay in the room with her the whole time to reassure her that I was there for her and that we were in this together! Yes it was hard I wont lie, and there was still a lot of crying at the time but in the long run she is a much happier baby now and the improvement in her moods, eating during the day etc has been amazing.

Good luck whatever you decide!
 
honestly hunnie if there are no medical reasons for his waking, I don't think his naps are the issue. You may have to eliminate rocking to sleep. I'm a sleep training advocate at the right age (which your LO is at). Babies need their sleep and so do their mommies. Black circles under the eyes don't sound good :nope:
I would really advise against cc or CIO :( but I would say you should check out the book called 'no cry sleep solution' it's really good and gives you a good understanding into why a baby doesn't sleep much. It also tells you why you should avoid these cc/CIO methods :)

Good luck! X

No Cry Sleep Solution was my baby biggest purchase regret. So much so that I actually wrote my first Amazone review to bash it, eeeeek! My baby cried for longer and slept less when we tried Elizabeth' methods. She did however start to sttn 3 nights after doing cc and she still is. It's fine if you're a CC/CIO hater, but these methods do work for some families and every one is happier as a result.

Agree. If its appropriate given baby's age and repeated wakings with out needing fed, etc, I am all for sleep training. Sleep is very important to their development, as well as your ability to be an effective parent. Honestly, CC is not the end of the world. With CC, you are still going in to reassure your child at intervals, so they do still get checked on.

Having said that, though, I would still persue an appt with your dr to r/o reflux or anything like that first. If that's the reason for the continual wakings, then treating that is really the main priority. I hope you can get some answers soon!
 
I strongly believe that Ginny's sleep (lack there of) hindered her development. I have posted many threads about her not walking and dr concerned but now that she has been sleeping for a month, she is attempting to walk like she should have for a while.
 
My thoughts:

1. Sleep training is never your only option. You never HAVE to do it. You can always choose to keep going as you are going. WIO is a real option and there is support available if that's what YOU want to do.

2. You don't need to feel guilty or blame yourself for your baby's sleep. You haven't spoiled him. You've been responding to him and that's great. Plenty of babies, with the exact same parenting, sleep much better than your son does right now.

3. If your gut feeling is that there is a medical problem with your son, then get it checked until it has been ruled out to YOUR satisfaction.

4. CC and CIO are not the only options for sleep training. Other people have mentioned some. There is PUPD, leaving LO in the crib no matter what, shh/pat, gradual retreat, etc etc. All sleep training works like this: you remove the sleep association that is currently disrupting their sleep, so that they learn to sleep without that. It's up to you how much or how little you want to help him in other ways. Different things work for different babies, so you may have your heart set on one method but find that it actually is making things harder for your LO rather than easier. But it's up to you what you want to try.

5. I don't believe that CC or CIO causes any damage to babies or to their relationships with their caregivers. But YOU are the one who has to believe that. It is totally normal to have ambivalence about putting your baby through something challenging. But if you really believe that sleep training will harm your baby...don't do it. You are the mommy and deserve to parent with integrity. Keep seeking more information. Do it when you feel like it is the right change to make...and then commit to doing it for a week. If now is not the right time...fine. Maybe later. But if you do feel ready to take this on, there are lots of us here to support you, and chances are it will work. :hugs:
 
My thoughts:

1. Sleep training is never your only option. You never HAVE to do it. You can always choose to keep going as you are going. WIO is a real option and there is support available if that's what YOU want to do.

2. You don't need to feel guilty or blame yourself for your baby's sleep. You haven't spoiled him. You've been responding to him and that's great. Plenty of babies, with the exact same parenting, sleep much better than your son does right now.

3. If your gut feeling is that there is a medical problem with your son, then get it checked until it has been ruled out to YOUR satisfaction.

4. CC and CIO are not the only options for sleep training. Other people have mentioned some. There is PUPD, leaving LO in the crib no matter what, shh/pat, gradual retreat, etc etc. All sleep training works like this: you remove the sleep association that is currently disrupting their sleep, so that they learn to sleep without that. It's up to you how much or how little you want to help him in other ways. Different things work for different babies, so you may have your heart set on one method but find that it actually is making things harder for your LO rather than easier. But it's up to you what you want to try.

5. I don't believe that CC or CIO causes any damage to babies or to their relationships with their caregivers. But YOU are the one who has to believe that. It is totally normal to have ambivalence about putting your baby through something challenging. But if you really believe that sleep training will harm your baby...don't do it. You are the mommy and deserve to parent with integrity. Keep seeking more information. Do it when you feel like it is the right change to make...and then commit to doing it for a week. If now is not the right time...fine. Maybe later. But if you do feel ready to take this on, there are lots of us here to support you, and chances are it will work. :hugs:

:thumbup: Best advice ever! Nothing to add - just :hugs: for you hun! Hope you find something that works for you and your Lo soon xx
 
thanks everyone, some great suggestions!

I will first sort out this issue with the reflux then try some more gentle methods to get him to sleep by himself.

I do think I am partly to blame for him not being able to self settle. when he's been in pain like this I have often just held him all night so he can just feel better being held so he's definitely got some bad sleep associations because he does cry when I put him down.

I just have to figure out how much of this is caused by this suspected reflux and how much of it is just bad sleeping habits now.
 
thanks everyone, some great suggestions!

I will first sort out this issue with the reflux then try some more gentle methods to get him to sleep by himself.

I do think I am partly to blame for him not being able to self settle. when he's been in pain like this I have often just held him all night so he can just feel better being held so he's definitely got some bad sleep associations because he does cry when I put him down.

I just have to figure out how much of this is caused by this suspected reflux and how much of it is just bad sleeping habits now.

Definitely. I think this is definitely where you need to start; I would keep pushing to move up his appt if they can, so you can get some answers. 6 weeks is such a long time to wait, especially if he could have reflux! I'm not understanding why they have such a long wait time! Is that typical where you live?

I think it could be a combination of both things for sure, but figuring our the medical aspect would be top priority. Once you get anwers with that aspect, you will better be able to determine how much that is affecting sleep, and how much of it it just habitual waking and habitually needing you to get back to sleep because that's what he's grown used to having.
 
thanks everyone, some great suggestions!

I will first sort out this issue with the reflux then try some more gentle methods to get him to sleep by himself.

I do think I am partly to blame for him not being able to self settle. when he's been in pain like this I have often just held him all night so he can just feel better being held so he's definitely got some bad sleep associations because he does cry when I put him down.

I just have to figure out how much of this is caused by this suspected reflux and how much of it is just bad sleeping habits now.

Definitely. I think this is definitely where you need to start; I would keep pushing to move up his appt if they can, so you can get some answers. 6 weeks is such a long time to wait, especially if he could have reflux! I'm not understanding why they have such a long wait time! Is that typical where you live?

I think it could be a combination of both things for sure, but figuring our the medical aspect would be top priority. Once you get anwers with that aspect, you will better be able to determine how much that is affecting sleep, and how much of it it just habitual waking and habitually needing you to get back to sleep because that's what he's grown used to having.

Yes, unfortunately here in the UK GPs are very reluctant to diagnose :(

My health visitor is on the case now to get my appointment moved up and I really believe she is sympathetic as she came to my house yesterday and I just told her how we are all suffering because of it.

If it gets bad again, she told me to go to A&E! this way you have access to the paediatricians.
 
Does he sleep with a flat back or is he propped up to a 45 degree angle (like phone books under a crib or using pillows in your bed?). That's usually a good indicator of reflux if they do a wee bit better at an angle.
 
I propped it up but maybe not high enough and it actually didn't make much of a difference
 
hey chick, how is it going? i hear you re the GPs i have had some horrific advise from GPs. i hope this all settles down soon for you.
 
I was in a similar position to you, and I decided to WIO. My LO had reflux but the Drs refused to medicate even though it was really bad.
My daughter from 3.5 months to 9.5 months woke every 45 mins, and her sleep association was bf and rocking, she just couldn't self settle, and I have never been comfortable with CC/CIO. I was a zombie and had no help from OH at all. I certainly got to the point where I was considering anything and everything to get her to sleep, and myself as I was managing on 20 min naps. I don't know how I got through it but I did. She then started waking maybe 5 times which was manageable for me. She is 25 months and still wakes maybe twice, and sleeps through once a week or so. Even though it was hell (understatement really!!), looking back I'm glad I didn't do CC/CIO. I tried all the gentler sleep training techniques, swaddling, not swaddling, different temperatures, EVERYTHING! But she did it in her own time.
And the lack of sleep as such has certainly not hindered her development. She is a happy, well adjusted toddler, incredibly bright and has the vocabulary of a 3.5 year old, ahead in all her milestones. She is extremely social and loving.
Do whatever you feel is right for you and your family. Everyone will have different opinions. I hope you both start getting some sleep soon :flower:
 
Thanks Jessy that's the problem I never have a good night they're always the same ... bad haha ... Will see where I get this week with the gp now that the health visitor is involved.

Skc thanks for you reply that gives me hope! I was crying to my husband last night because I know I can't do cc/cio even though I'm so desperate to get some sleep. I mean I sometimes think yes I will do it but I don't have the guts really :( so I realise I'm going to have to Ben one of those people that just wait it out and like you say go through hell in the meantime. I've also tried every gentle approach going but unfortunately my baby's will is a lot stronger than mine!
 
Aren't babies supposed to grow out of reflux by 6 months?
 
I haven't read all the replies, on the first page - but is bedsharing an option?
 

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