is he on the autistic spectrum? any advise welcome

[mamaofthree]

Dear all,

My fives year old has been 'difficult' since birth but i just thought him to be strong willed, however he recently started school and they started to notice he is very withdrawn and unhappy too!

From a small baby he cried non stop, has had night terrors, is moody and withdrawn and never wants to mix especially in large groups, or some days is so hyperactive that he shouts in other childrens faces and pushes them over! If i take hime to soft play he says hes tired, and wont join in with his siblings. If i take him home he will lie on the sofa with his favourite blanket and barely speak. Lately his night terrors are worse, and he has started wiping poo in the walls!!(soz too much info) he clenches his fists, and grits his teeth while talking, and bites his nails down to the quick which seems to me like anxiety.

He seems so frustrated with life, and is never happy....and i just cannot get him to understand 'sorry' when he hurts his brother or sister. I feel people are mis understanding him and am so worried, but my hv is useless and brushes it off!

We have a new baby coming and he has just started school but this is not a behaviour change, more that others are now noticing it too. Could he be Autistic or have add?

Thankyou so much for listening! x x x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Hi hun. I hope your ok, best bet is take him to doctors xxx let us know what they say x

 

[velvetina]

Hi hun,

Sounds like you have your hands full and I am sorry you hv is so rubbish. It is difficult to say based on what you describe, but bless him he does sound an unhappy little boy.

May I suggest you have a look at the link below and print it out, fill it in and take it to your gp's and ask for a referral. The checklist is a recognised tool but don't use it as a diagnosis for autism tool, it is a guide, but I am thinking you can use all the pointers as a really good way of being able to show what he is and is not doing. It will help the professionals he should be referred to and a good sounding board to discuss them in more detail.

Don't let your gp fob you off, alternatively you could ask school to bring in the educational psychologist, however from experience this can take ages, and if you have good health authority can be quicker to have a referal via the gp. Don't be afraid to ring them and chase and tell them it is urgent you want to see someone. Tell school what you are doing and if they are not already doing so, arrange a meeting with the Senco and ask what measures can be put in place to help him at school. If has full support at school that will hopefully take some pressure off him and make him less anxious.

Please let us know how you get on. x

https://www2.babyandbump.com/?id=37...needs/404289-think-my-son-my-have-autism.html

 

[mamaofthree]

Thankyou so much velvetina! Really helpful post...i have agp apt booked for monday, so will let you know what they say. Will look at the link now. x x x x x x x x x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I just did that checklist out of interest. My son scored 196 and he is diagnosed age 6 x

 

[velvetina]

I think its a good checklist because it can be used at toddler level, where a lot of these behaviours are already evident. In my experience so many people I speak with have slow long difficult journeys to get a diagnosis. I myself arranged 4 meetings with health visitors who dismissed my concerns, now I look back with what I know and it was startling obvious something was not right. Even when my son changed school borough's I found out he did not have an official diagnosis, which just astounded me.

It makes me so angry because early intervention can be so crucial and the time wasted together with lack of resources for a condition which has seen such a massive increase is such a gamble for these children. Even if the disorder is not asd, there is such an increase in others such as add/adhd/social and language delays, the help they are given pre school will help shape their development.

Sorry ranting now, (LOL)!!!

 

[mamaofthree]

I did the test last night and he was on the high side of moderate (cant remember the fiigure off hand!) But i also think he is showing signs of depression, so even if lie you said Velvetina it isnt asd then he definately has issues that need addressing before he gets too much older! It really frustrates me, because as a small baby he wouldnt respond to me, and would either be extremely quiet, or constantly crying, and nothing would pacify him.....he hasn't slept a full night since birth, constantly bedwets, and has night terrors, and yest he said' i just cant stop my brain from thinking' which is somewhat strange for a 5year old. He is very bright and reads and speaks beyond his years, but is a stickler for routine, cant socialize, and frequently scratches himself until he bleeds which cannot be right!!!!! but my h.v seems to think there is nowt wrong despite me calling her today with the results from that test.......i feel we should have stood our ground a long time ago, but i guess you never really notice it until you see other peoples children or have more of your own to compare to. I just thought he was shy, and a bit dificult....now i think he need help...so thankyou all! x x x

 

[Newt]

I am sorry you are going through this, I would contact the hv again and ask for a peadiatic and psychy review and if she refuses ask for her managers details, then take him to the gp. Keep a diary of events as proof and push. It's better he gets help now before he finds himself lost. If you have any problems pm me, I dont live too far from you. x

 

[velvetina]

What the hell is wrong with some of these health visitors, Jeez!!!!! How much more information can you possible give that something is not right and you need some help. Arrggg!!!!

Totally agree with Newt hun, your little man needs some extra support here. Bypass the hv go straight to the gp and as for an urgent referral. Good luck and let us know how it goes.