Is is true? moms have no time?

[babyjiva]

can a new mom or any mom out there tell me why it is that they say newborns sleep up to 16 hours a day... but they also say that new moms don't get any sleep???? how does that make sense. seems like mom would have plenty of time to sleep.

i'm also confused about how mom's say once the baby was born they had no time at all to do anything.... is it hard to do every day stuff you used to do with the baby?

i guess i'm naive and too hopeful about how active i'll be soon after baby is born. it's like i've been waiting 9 months to have her so life can get back to normal but now i'm being told i'll be more exhausted and tied down than even now. is that true??? please share.

thanks

 

[binxyboo]

Although newborns sleep a lot, they don't sleep in large chunks. They will maybe sleep for an hour or 2 before wanting to be fed, changed and cuddled.
They also create more work (extra washing, lots of washing up and sterilising if bottle fed etc)

 

[bky]

My baby only slept maybe 4-8 hours a day for the first few weeks, and only when I was holding her. She still mostly only sleeps when being held even though she now sleeps closer to 12-14 hours a day. My baby is unusual a little I think though.
As for no time, well even when you aren't changing them, bathing them, trying to get them to nap, feeding them, wiping poo/puke/drool off of yourself, doing laundry, trying to find time for you to eat, etc they need entertaining.
I didn't do much before having the baby, but I can see how it would put a cramp in someone's life, especially if they were used to having the freedom to leave the house with 30 minutes notice. Even now we plan things we need to do (shopping, appointments) around what the baby is doing.

 

[Duffy]

Your life goes out the window, lol for me it sort of did no partenting class can fully prepare you for the radical changes that will happen in your life. Not only do you have this beautiful baby but you you feed, change rock cuddle put to sleep the infant. You have diapers to take outside bottles to wash bottles to prepare bathtime to get ready then bath baby/cleaning up as you go. You also have your normal sch for me cleaning the house doing are own laundry and trying to get in a five minute shower lol. I remember when I put Karissa down when she was a infant and I thought she was a sleep two minutes into my hot shower/soap in my hair she woke up screaming and out I went and sat the day with dried shampoo in my hair until oh came home to lend a hand.

Now 9 months later we plan are day around her sch and naps Having a baby is life altering for sure but to me worth it.

 

[dannyboygirl]

If you breastfeed exclusively like I did every 2 hours. Changing baby 12-15 times a day. Cleaning up the house. Feeding your family. Cleaning yourself. Its alot to do in a day.

 

[XcupcakeX]

I don't think newborns sleep as much as you think. They certainly dont sleep all night so you're usually knackered all day between washing, sterilising bottles, making up bottles, changing nappies, doing god knows how many loads of washing, ironing, porobably wiping up sick off the carpet, rocking baby to sleep, pacing the floor while baby is screaming, cooking for yourself, taking a shower, doing the shopping, cleaning your house. Trust me, you're lucky if you can find 2 minutes to nip to the loo! Its will most definately be the hardest thing you will do but its worth it.

 

[Bex1p]

My baby barely sleeps in the day! I get a block of about 3-4 hours around between 8pm and 2am, and then I have to chose wether I want to sleep, eat, shower, chill out or clean!!!

He'll sleep well in his basket between 7 and 9 in the morning but since the kids have been back at school I cant take advantage of that!

 

[moomoo]

My lo slept 5 hours out of 24 until he was 9 weeks... He has severe reflux which meant he wouldn't sleep anywhere apart from on me, he fed constantly (to get rid of burning acid) and I barely had time to brush my teeth. He never would sleep in his pram (just scream) he never would sleep in his car seat, and was never entertained by toys, bouncers or swings!!! He was HARD work!! Was expecting hard work but I felt like I'd been hit by a bus!!!!

Unless you are very lucky newborns rarely sleep a lot, and never go in long stretches. If you breastfeed you will be feeding a lot, if you bottlefeed you will be lucky to get a few hours between feeds!!

X

 

[cleckner04]

My LO was never a textbook newborn and rarely napped throughout the day. And if she did it would be little half hour naps randomly. I had to feed pretty much constantly in the beginning so was basically strapped to the couch. Even now with a toddler I barely have a chance to brush my hair to make it look decent enough to go out. To be fair, I have a very high needs baby who wants my attention all the time so it really depends on the baby. I have high hopes that the next one will be more laid back. And with all this, it is SOO worth it. x100 million. It's the best thing ever. Good luck!

 

[amandad192]

Preapre yourself: Go to bed tonight setting an alarm for 2 hours later, then stay awake for at least an hour (feeding baby, changing nappy, baby pooing so having to change nappy again and clothes change, then trying to get baby back to sleep) go back to bed for another couple of hours before waking up and doing it all again. Then get up at 6 am..with a baby that's refusing to go back to sleep. Take a mouthful or 2 of your breakfast then leave it on the side for 20 minutes because LO has woken up and wants feeding. Then eat your soggy cereal or cold toast. Pop in the shower..but you have to get clean within a matter of minutes incase baby wakes up. Probz best you don't wash your hair this week... Try to find the time to do the housework and look after a baby (sling or baby carrier recommended here!!) By the end of the day you still have loads of housework to do..which can wait until 2moz, even though you know you won't get the chance to do it 2moz..go to bed and start the whole thing again.

I was very lucky, OH did most the night feeds so I got a full nights sleep. I was living with my dad so all the housework wasn't my responsibilty as long as I did my best to do my fair share.
For me the first week was the hardest because Liam was "severly jaundiced" and struggled to hold his milk down so was feeding very often to make up for the bits he was throwing up.

Oh and somewhere in these busy weeks, not only do you struggle to find time for yourself..but your OH wants some attention too!

 

[Cat lady]

I never knew how tough having a baby was until I had one! Nobody can stress to you how tired you feel at 4am when you have 2 hours sleep so far, you havent had a hot meal in days - I have learned to eat one handed with baby on the boob covered with a muslin so he doesnt get covered in take away (which you have far more of because its easier and less washing up). The washing is relentless - I uses to do 2 loads a week, now I do a load almost every day.
But you learn to live with it - although it is stressful and at some points when baby wont stop crying you may need to walk away and take 10 minutes. The first time they smile at you, coo at you and watch you walk around the room. Its actually lovely too, when other people are holding them and they start crying, you are the only person who can calm them because you are mummy. The most important person in the world to them! Its an amazing feeling.
xxx

 

[moomoo]

My LO was never a textbook newborn and rarely napped throughout the day. And if she did it would be little half hour naps randomly. I had to feed pretty much constantly in the beginning so was basically strapped to the couch. Even now with a toddler I barely have a chance to brush my hair to make it look decent enough to go out. To be fair, I have a very high needs baby who wants my attention all the time so it really depends on the baby. I have high hopes that the next one will be more laid back. And with all this, it is SOO worth it. x100 million. It's the best thing ever. Good luck!

Emma sounds exactly like my lo!! Intense babies even when they were in the bloody womb!! Hopefully the next one will be laid back.. it would be very unfair to have 2 high needs babies when some people have none!!!

 

[moomin_troll]

after having a baby ur body is so sore and the lack of sleep takes its toll on u, yes some newborns sleep alot but zane never did unless in my arms anf hardly anything at night. then if ur bf that takes alot of time n also if ur ff u then have to wash and sterilize the bottles every chance u get while having time to go the loo and maybe wash.

then some older babies are clingy and scream when left alone so when they nap that is again ur chance to wash, housework ect and get urself something to eat.

its a really hard thing to adjust to having a baby, so once ur in a routine things do get easier and ur able to do more.

so its very easy for me to agree that new mums dont have much time and get very little sleep

 

[CocoaOne]

My LO slept quite a lot - but only when I was holding her. I barely slept or ate in the first 6-8 weeks! A lot depends on how much support you have too. If you've got a hands on OH, he can take care of baby while you eat and shower and can help with housework etc.

 

[moomin_troll]

my oh would hold zane so i could have a bath and then hed cook the dinner. but again i hardly eat and lost a stone within a few weeks of having zane, shame the mummy pouch didnt go lol

after a baby is alot harder then ppl think, my oh got a shock as he thought it would be easy.
i was then shocked about how much pain i was in after having him, and its not so easy to nap when baby is.

i must be mad thinking about having another baby talking about all this, so it must be worth it hahaha

 

[Melody74]

It's easy for people to say "sleep when the baby sleeps". I never knew that newborns aren't that great at sleeping! It actually gets easier as they get older, in my experience. Ours only slept in 30 minute periods and constantly griped and made noises in those times too. It's impossible to get much unbroken sleep yourself as by the time you do drop to sleep, they are waking up. It's a constant cycle of feed, wind, nappy change, sleep - all within 1-3 hours. And it's the drip feed of snatched minutes/hours here and there that is hard to cope with - but adrenaline and excitement gets you through. Once you get through the first few weeks, they tend to sleep for longer periods and you can start to get more than 3 hours of unbroken sleep and I certainly felt much better. We are at 14 weeks and she now sleeps 8 hours.

The best advice my sister gave me was that if you can share the nights with your partner (depends if you are bottle or breast) then try to do 2 nights each in a row as you feel the benefit of 2 nights off so much better than alternating. I found this to be so true.

If you can cope with the lack of sleep (!) then you will find time to do things you want to - if you want to that is. After the first 5 weeks where I pretty much hibernated, we started meeting up with friends, going shopping etc... I found it easier though to work around her sleep routines rather than just adopt the stance of she will fit around me. Ours respond really well to a set feeding and sleep routine and I made the mistake a couple of times of waking her early and going out, but she was out of sorts for the rest of the day, difficult to settle and wouldn't take her feeds. So now, we don't do anything until she has had her long mid morning nap.

There is no question that you are going to be exhausted, physically ache, maybe a little emotional. And life will never be the same again - there is always going to be this LO to consider before you do anything. And wherever you go has to be planned and organised and take with you an array of bags, equipment and stuff! But you adjust and find ways to work with them. You can be as active as you want to be with a little energy and planning...xx

 

[_Vicky_]

I cant add anything to the above apart from ditto - times two lol. Life will never go back to normal - you will just find a new normal. I think I have blocked otu the early days as they are a blur of exhaustion, emotion and terror lol (NICU baby so totally different)

You really dont get a minute to do anything

 

[sarahchops86]

i dont know, i set myself up for it being horrible and ended up with quite a placid baby (touch wood!!) she slept for a 5/6 hour stretch at night from birth. thats not to say i have time to do everything she has a meltdown most evenings between 5-8- havent watched a full movie since she was born!
sleep when your baby sleeps, if you have a baby that wants to be held- get a moby wrap/sling so you can wash dishes/cook dinner/vacuum etc, if u have a baby that likes to be rocked a swing is a lifesaver, keep a changing bag fully stocked by the front door so you can get out of the house quicker, make life easier on yourself have nappies wipes muslins and a change of clothes downstairs and above all if someone offers help TAKE IT! good luck hun its scary but so so worth it xo

 

[cleckner04]

I think we all might have made her fears a lot worse.

 

[Justagirlxx]

^^ lol does it really matter? She'll find out when her baby is born anyhow. No matter what anyone told me no one could have prepared me for how hard having a baby is. Your life is never going to get back to "normal" hun. xx