Is it just me?

[fdcsw126]

Ok, I honestly dont know if I am being overly emotional, so please give me your honest opinion. Warning this might be long.

So lately (since Saturday) I have been struggling with missing my grandma who passed away in 2008. There were several things that have triggered my emotions. The first being that I was at a bridal shower Saturday and the bride had her 2 grandmas there plus her fiance's grandma, I saw what a close bound they had and it made me miss the bond I had with my grandma. Also, when big events come up (college graduation, my wedding, the upcoming birth of my first child) I start thinking about her and how much she would have loved to be present for these events. So needless to say I cried Saturday and Sunday (not a lot but it was enough) then again today because of a comment my OH made.

So OH is in the military and he has duty tonight, which means he went in at 6 today and wont be home till sometime tomorrow afternoon. He has this once a month and I always bring him dinner. Well we got to talking about my brother and how I was trying to cheer him up yesterday as it was the one year anniversary of the loss of 7 guys he worked with 4 of who were good friends of his in a military training accident. Well OH opened his mouth and said dont take this the wrong way but I feel like some people hold on for too long after they lose someone, eventually you just have to let it go, you shouldnt grieve for years - i didnt really let this offend me until he said Im not talking about you and your grandma. Que the waterworks for me, all I could say is you dont know what its like, yes you lost a great grandmother but you still have both of your grandmas, I have none.....my grandma and I were super close. Anytime she was admitted to the hospital I was the one that stayed with her, I could tell her anything and everything. I dont necessarily still grieve for her but I still miss her and would give anything to talk to her one last time.

Am I wrong to be offended or have I let my pregnancy emotions get to me?

Note: I technically still have my dads mom but I dont have a relationship with her - which has been her choice my entire life

 

[everdreaming]

I find grief a very individual emotion and I couldn't say whether or not you're being irrational. It's YOUR feeling, therefore it's important and it counts.

 

[HBGirl]

I think you over reacted a bit sweetie. He hit a raw nerve but I don't think he meant to at all.

 

[emalou90]

I can see what he means, he sort of excused you from the fact he said "people hold on to it for years" which was a nice thing.
I reckon you're just feeling very emotional about it so probably wasn't the best thing for him to say.

I lost my dad two years ago and it's still very raw, I'm not holding on to it but when you love someone and care so very much for them then you are going to still feel the loss.
In your case for example.


Grief can be very different. I expect people to be upset about losing an immediate family member but it used to really bug me when someone would be upset about "johns mates cousin" for weeks when they weren't even close. Maybe that's what your hubby meant?