Is it just me????

[Hope16]

TTC sex is the absolute worst! It's not fun for me and hubby. We actually argue more and it has become somewhat of a chore. He keeps saying he doesn't like to have "schedule" sex but isn't that what infertility is about? You are told when to have sex to increase your chances. I've even tried not telling him when I'm ovulating just to help take the pressure off of him. It doesn't really work though because he knows what we are trying to do. There have been a few times where he has had performance anxiety and he can't get aroused as easily. It's all in his head. Then he feels like his is letting me down and it turns into another argument somehow. I can't wait to get pregnant so we can just go back to normal sex. Anyone else going through this? It can't just be me!

 

[krissie328]

My husband and I did that when we were ltttc our son. We are only 5 months into ttc #2 but it is starting to feel that way again. Since your fertile window is only a few days a month I would suggest making the other times special. I try not to bring up babies and ttc around my fertile time so that I can make it feel spontaneous for DH. Which is a little easier than your circumstances. Maybe surprise him at a different time of day or activity? Hmm.. I guess you weren't really asking for advise. But those things helped when ltttc for us.

 

[Hope16]

I appreciate any feedback really. Maybe I just needed to vent. Or to see if others felt this frustration. I guess when your going to the RE two times a week and doing injectibles and trigger shots etc it's hard to keep hubby in the dark about when it's time to bd. I just told him if it doesnt work this month, maybe I will ask my RE to do back to back IUIs. That way he doesn't have to stress anymore.

 

[krissie328]

Yea, it is really hard when you are constantly at the doctor's. Back to back iui might not be a bad idea. But I really hope that you won't need to do that!!!

 

[GoldenRatio]

cycle #2 and thats exactly what im going thru. He fell asleep at 8 day before ovulation so ruined my cycle again

Even when we have intercourse, it doesnt feel right. But i dont mind it, its for our baby, and he doesnt get that. I told him that im doing everything, opks, themping, and worrying... all he needs to do it have sex with me. And if he doesnt step up then he doesnt deserve the baby. Then he said that he will do his best, nop 2 days later we are back to square one.
After ovulation do, he is all over me! and he says baby should happen naturally, not by forcing and scheduling.

I told him no more schedules, he was so happy. Im secretly gonna schedule and not tell him when i ovulate, thats the only solution. Im gonna put my preseed secretly and as soon as he is done, im gonna insert softcup so it doesnt look like im lifting my legs to push sperms in.

 

[psychochick]

You're definitely not alone. For us I think TTC is taking a little longer than DH expected as well, so I think the pressure is mounting a little bit. He couldn't deliver one morning and I did get a little unhappy. I was worried that we were missing O. Before this, we had NEVER had ANY problems in the physical aspect of our relationship. It was always super awesome.

So DH said let's take it easy for the day and spend some time together. We did some fun stuff and chilled, and got back in the mood in the afternoon. I don't agree that TTC should be just "chill and let it happen". I mean maybe if we were super young and had all the time in the world. But we're older people on with a plan and on a schedule and plus modern life is not really conducive for spontaneous sex. However, I do think that it's best to focus on ourselves and the other person during BD, rather than what we're trying to achieve.

 

[Hope16]

i really think i ovulated today and I was hoping my hubby would want to bd today on my lunch break (hes working nights so i wont see him later today). I dont think you can just rely on IUI alone. That's probably why it doesnt work the first time around for most people. He literally gave me every excuse in the book. He's tired. He's stressed. but then two seconds later, he tells me he is going to the gym! Guess he can't be that tired. He think the IUI is enough and I don't. I even tried to communicate with him about how we really need to both give this 100%.

Why should I go through all the injections, bw, u/s, symptoms if he isn't going to pull his weight alittle. I want to be supportive of him and how he is feeling, but I can't help but want this more. Does that make sense?

 

[krissie328]

Oh hun that is so frustrating!! I don't think men really get it at all.

 

[GoldenRatio]

My husband still doesnt believe me when i say that i ovulate one day per month. He is like how come all the teenagers get pregnant and those woman get raped once and pregnant, but married couple like us need to do a schedule

Hope16, you should just pull urself back and pretend like u are done with ttc, even when he wants to have sex, dont do it. I dont think he can last long.

My mistake was to have sex with him before ovulation, i noticed when i say no no for couple days then he wants it. Maybe we should say no no , until we see positive opk