Is it just me

[vicwick]

or is my friend being totally selfish and unreasonable?!

She is moving to London next Saturday and is having a leaving do in a local bar tonight which is full of young kids adn gets packed!! I have explained that i am unable to go as i have had really bad trouble with my hips and am in pain constantly and basically don't feel comfortable standing in a bar full of people getting bumped around while everyone gets drunk. So i said to her i was really sorry i wasn't going but i would love for her to pop over next week before she goes, for tea so i can see her before she goes away. So then a few hours later she sends me a huge e-mail saying how i'm not making the effort and that i should be going and i'm supposed to be one of her good mates!!!!! I'm in totaly shock!!! is it me or is this a little unfair on her part?

Sorry for the long rant!!!

 

[Jem]

I think your friend should be more understanding IMO!!! You're 35 weeks pregnant and I know how I'd be if I was invited to something like that at your stage. I think meeting up and having something to eat before she goes is a fab idea! I would have thought she would have been up for that as at least you're trying to see her before she goes and not just saying "I don't want to go to your leaving do, bye!" x

 

[Dizzy321]

Yeah it is unfair on her part hun! some people just dont get it do they! your 35 weeks pregnant for god sake! i would not be going and i know how painful hip pain is! yeah she is your good friend but she must understand u heavily pregnant and its gonna be no fun at all watching people get drunk and getting knocked and things not to mention finding an outfit feeling hot etc...just do what u want to do hun xx

 

[~ Vicky ~]

It's very unfair. But I've found that people who've never been pregnant before just don't understand how hard it is for heavily pregnant women to do 'normal' things.

 

[LuluBee]

Yes it is unfair - I've found that lots of people who have never been pregnant really just don't understand how much it does impact on you physically. I would try to explain this to her - although she might not listen, it might be worth talking over the phone rather than by text or email, people tend to be more reasonable that way

 

[o0oCharlieo0o]

your friend is being out of order! the last place you want to be when 35 weeks pregnant is in a pub! being bumped about by drunks! when i was 35 weeks pregnant with my 1st baby it was my 21st birthday and everyone wanted me to still go to the pub for it so they could drink and i have orange juice but its the last thing you want when ur in pain and tired etc, we went out for a meal instead which was lovely, unfortunatly people who havent had babies dont seem to understand! hope your friend sees sense soon and realises your not doing it to be mean, its not like you havent tried to see her before she goes xxx

 

[PeanutBean]

Yep unfair. Some friend to want to put you through such discomfort and expose you to stinky pub fumes!

 

[WelshGirl]

I agree that she's being a bit unfair - I take it she's never been pregnant?! I also agree with the advice to speak to her in person, so you can explain to her why you aren't able to go. If she sees that you do want to go, but the circumstances are stopping you, she may be more understanding.
Could you suggest meeting her for a quick bite to eat before she goes out? That way, you've been part of her night, but you aren't in a horribly uncomfortable place?

xxx

 

[Dragonfly]

Has she ever been pregnant by any chance? dosnt sound like it anyway. She should understand your condition! why would she want you to sit there ayway all uncomfortable thats the last thing you need!

 

[vicwick]

I agree that she's being a bit unfair - I take it she's never been pregnant?! I also agree with the advice to speak to her in person, so you can explain to her why you aren't able to go. If she sees that you do want to go, but the circumstances are stopping you, she may be more understanding.
Could you suggest meeting her for a quick bite to eat before she goes out? That way, you've been part of her night, but you aren't in a horribly uncomfortable place?

xxx

No she's never been pregnant. I have suggested going out with her for some food or even just a coffee before she goes but she said she's too busy packing which i understand. Basically she's the type of person who thinks all her friends should do what she wants and thats that. She plays games and try's to make you feel guilty so you give in and go but i am not going to give in this time she is being unreasonable.

I am always the first person to go out for occiasions etc and have never not gone for any reason. This is the first time i have ever said i can't go somewhere and its not like i'm jsut making a daft excuse.

 

[bibswy]

You are 35 weeks preggers - she is being totally unreasonable. I bet u feel knackered just walking round the shops let alone being crammed in in a noisy bar. i'm fooked by 9pm!! She sounds very self-centred to me. Its not like ur not making the effort as you've said 'come round for dinner' etc. sorry - i'm getting all angry on your behalf!! what a cow.

 

[vicwick]

You are 35 weeks preggers - she is being totally unreasonable. I bet u feel knackered just walking round the shops let alone being crammed in in a noisy bar. i'm fooked by 9pm!! She sounds very self-centred to me. Its not like ur not making the effort as you've said 'come round for dinner' etc. sorry - i'm getting all angry on your behalf!! what a cow.

god i know i got my self so wound up about it, my sister was telling me to not let it bother me but its so hard with these bloody hormones

 

[XKatX]

Oh, I'm sorry your friend is being such a cow!! OSunds like she is far too selfish for her own good. Just let her know that You can't go as oppossed to don't want to go and if she's still being bitchy - well it's her loss.