Is it me....?? Sorry, long rant :(

[BabyHaines]

Hi girls,

I guess I'm mostly writing this because I am feeling sorry for myself so sorry if I sound melodramatic......

Firstly, let me say that I am overjoyed to be 14 weeks tomorrow and finally off to 2nd Trimester!! Will be sad to go from 1st, but look forward to seeing you all over there.

Now....I am getting really paranoid that I am turning into a mega-bitch. My hubby and I seem to have just argued this week. I know my hormones are raging, and I have given up smoking etc. but I really thought I was holding it all together well considering?? I am soooooooooo excited about this baby and it means the world to me, and I have been exceptionally lucky so far, as seem to have (touch wood) managed to avoid m/s pretty much.
But my hubby just seems to be being awful to me. He doesn't cut me any slack and seems to think I'm just being pathetic if I ask him to maybe lift something heavy for me or if I pass on certain foods.
He has been really sharp with me too. Tonight I got home from work at about 7.45ish. I am tired (surprise, surprise) and often feel like I can't be bothered to do anything, and the moment I walked through the door he starts throwing things out of the fridge and leaping down my throat about things. He didn't even ask how I was or if I had a nice day So, I got straight on with dinner (which he then complained about - saying dinner wasn't good enough and going on and on about it) then I cleaned up and cleared away HIS beer cans and did some washing etc. etc. And he just seemed to get more and more horrible. Then he snapped when I asked him if he could take something out into the garden for me whilse I was washing up and he was sitting on his arse. He went mad that 'he wants to sit down - HE'S been at work all day....yadda, yadda'......Eh?? What about me?? I am up at 6.30am too. I have to walk the dog and go to work for a 9-10 hour day every day too!!

The worst thing was....He went to bed in a huff....and his phone beeped. So yes, I admit, I had a look.
There was a message from the guy he works on site with and it was a follow up to a conversation where my hubby had been messaging his friend saying that he was watching a blonde getting dressed....

Now, I know I'm probably over-reacting, but that made me feel like crap. Perving on other women, while I'm feeling extra fat, spotty and unatractive just didn't seem like a nice thing

Am I over-reacting??

 

[Smiley Lou]

Oh hun, I'm sorry you are feeling like that. I've got to say I wouldnt be too happy with all that either. Can you sit him down another time and talk about it ??? I hope things get better, I really do.

 

[EternalRose]

NO your not overacting at all!! Id be pissed off excuse my language but your pregnant does he not understand this. I am 7 weeks and all I have time for is to eat and sleep to think you made his supper and he carried on like that is awful hun I think you need to sit down and have a talk with him and tell him how your feeling, sometimes men need it spelt out for them but dont accept disrespect from him hun your carrying his child and you cant do everything . I am also a firm believer that the gut nagging feeling, that brought you to write this is usually RIGHT. By you posting this, answers your question hun. Wish I could give you a cuddle but you dont need this sort of attitude..xx

 

[sabriena]

That doesn't sound like you overreacting at all. It sounds like he isn't taking into account you have some more going on in your body than he does.

He needs to step up and take care of some of that for you. Sounds like you need to set him straight and explain what's going on in your body and why he needs to help and carry heavy stuff.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that

 

[BabyHaines]

Thanks ladies. I am laying on the sofa, with a duvet, just crying and feeling really sorry for myself. I just feel really hurt, especially that he needs to boast about oggling other women. All he ever says if I'm feeling delicate is 'you're not the first woman to have a baby you know'.
I'm really starting to panic now. I am having his baby and this is how he is acting?? What if I end up with a c-section?? He will not accept that I can't do much for weeks :'(
I feel really lonely. I live about two hours from my mum, sister, brother etc. and we left all our friends behind when we moved, too.
Sorry, just feel sad.

I should've guessed something was up, when he barely batted an eyelid at our 12 week scan.....

 

[muddles]

Oh sweetie have a huge hug! Get yourself something nice to munch on, wrap up in your duvet and watch a girly feel good film/tv programme. Your H sounds like he is being a fool, could it be that he is freaking out a bit about you being pregnant, and panicking about how life is going to change? I'm not excusing his behaviour, as he was out of order, but if he isn't normally like that with you then there must be some reason for his change in behvaiour. Hope things get better and he starts spoiling you soon.

 

[kat132]

wow i would be really pis**d off if that was my oh. Like the other girls said i think you need to sit him down and talk to him about it. You need to say to him that you are still working full time just like he is and you need help around the house. I know how tired you are feeling cause all i want to do at the min is sleep but my OH cooks dinner and helps me around the house. To be honest if i was you i would tell him to cook his own bloody dinner next time, cheeky sod! If he dont clean up his bear cans then stop buying it. Teach him a lesson my sweet, he should be looking after you at the mo!

Hugs from me

 

[hopefulfor09]

Oh sweetie big hugs for you! You are not over-reacting at all. He is being a complete and selfish shite. if it's any consolation mine is too. I think the novelty of them having impregnanted us wears off and until we are showing and they can feel the baby they just can't wrap their head around it. I am not making excuses - I threw my DH out yesterday.....he stresses me out and makes me upset which is not good for bubbs so i told him i need space.

I think you should sit him down and tell him how you're feeling.....does he have any idea what a woman's body goes through in pregnancy. It's so wonderful being pregnant and it really sucks when these selfish wankers take the wind right out of our sails.

Hugs.

 

[honeygrl]

You are definitely not overreacting. If I had found a message saying that on my hubby's phone I would've honest to god thrown the phone at his head and hoped that I threw it hard enough to bruise! I'd also tell him to cook his own dinner if he didn't like what I cooked.

He probably wouldn't survive very long in my house... I'd probably have all his clothes in the yard and the keys to the car hidden within a week.

And seriously, you need to arrange your mom or a sister or a friend to help you when the baby comes home. Or even go stay with your mom or sis for a week or 2 when the baby comes. You are going to need some help atleast for a few days and you won't be allowed to drive for a couple weeks. He really doesn't sound like someone who can be trusted to keep an eye on you in case problems arise.

 

[honeygrl]

And tell him he's very lucky that he has a nice woman like you. Most women I know would've told him where he could go and he'd be sleeping on the couch until there were flowers and a sincere apology. It pisses me off to no end to see men treat women like that after all the crap we have to go through. It's too bad you don't live near me. The men I know would "have a little chat" with him and he'd magically be a perfect gentleman when he picked himself up off the floor. Sometimes they just need a little sense knocked into them.

And I think I just realized why men in the south (USA) tend to be afraid of their women! haha

 

[BabyHaines]

lol honeygirl!!
Thanks ladies. He has tried to apologise this morning, telling me to forget about it, but I have just ignored him. I am too soft. He wants hormones?? He'll get hormones!!
Hopefulfor09 - sorry your man's bring horrible too. My, aren't they pigs at times!!

Think I'm gonna ask my mum to stay for a week when bubba comes too. Miss her so much, and she is so excited!!
Can't believe we've been TTC for 5 years and this is his reaction!! Arghhhhhhhhh!!