Is it normal to be this scared?!

[Kf1989]

I just found out that I'm pregnant. I'm 5 weeks and 6 days. This pregnancy was a total surprise. My husband and I planned to start trying in a year or two, but this has come as a shock. I'm TERRIFIED. I always thought I'd be so excited when I found out that I was expecting, but there is very little excitement, and I'm feeling really guilty about it. I haven't been to the doctor yet, and I'm so scared about my first appointment. What if they find something wrong?! What can I even expect during my first appointment? Is it normal to have such anxiety, or am I being crazy? I'm feeling so not ready and so helpless... Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated!

 

[bathbabe]

Are you usa? Uk? What happens varies on where your from. Here in the uk there is no need to see your dr, just ask to be referred to the midwives in your area. They usually want to see you between 8-11weeks for your first appointment, which is about 2 hours long and they ask a ton of questions and i *think* they take bloods and a wee sample, then you will have a scan around 12 weeks.

Congratulations the excitement will come xx

 

[Leafy]

I was sooo anxious first time round....and im still anxious this time! lol so i would say yes anxiety is normal (it is for me anyway!!)

the midwife will see you for a 'booking in' appointment if youre in the UK. basically give u a pregnancy pack with lots of info and go through a lot of questions (medical history etc) with you for your pregnancy notes. Then you wait for an appointment at hospital for your scan, bloods etc.

congrats!

 

[Penguin20]

I'm the exact same, found out I was pregnant yesterday I'm happy but so scared something might be wrong
Hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months

 

[spunky84]

What you're feeling is completely normal.

Pregnancy, whether planned or unplanned, is such a huge life change, and it is scary. Having an unplanned pregnancy can be scarier in the way that it's a complete shock and you haven't really had the chance to wrap you head around the idea of having a baby yet.

The first trimester, especially, can be very tough to get through for many.

If you are in the US, first appointments can still vary from doctor to doctor.

The first appointment is still usually scheduled somewhere between the 8-12 week mark (though I think closer to 8 is more the norm). With DD, they did weight, height, blood pressure, urine sample, and blood work.

I chose a midwife over an OB. For our first appointment she went over my medical history. She asked us questions to get to know us, had us ask her questions to get to know her. We went over what to expect over the course of the prenatal visits. We received a book and some papers containing policies and information (emergency protocols, phone numbers, nutritional information, safe medications, etc).

She said she wouldn't do a pelvic exam until the next appointment as she doesn't like to meet someone for the first time and just do something so personal. She wants the patient's to meet her first. I'm not sure if all providers will do an exam. I know a lot of women who said they had one as part of their prenatal care (or not if they've had one recently) and others who say the providers found it unnecessary.

Many places will do a dating scan sometime between 8 - 12 weeks; though some places may not offer a scan until the anatomy scan at 20 weeks. This is something that would likely be addressed during your appointment; if not, it's something you can ask and they should be able to tell you.

Don't be afraid to ask questions! If you're worried, don't hesitate to call! There may be times you feel so silly for worrying, but sometimes it's still nice to have the reassurance from your provider.

If your anxiety starts to affect your day to day life, prevents you from doing daily things, please talk to your doctor/midwife about it! They should be able to offer support and resources. For some, like myself, the anxiety can get to a debilitating point and you don't have to live like that.

Just know that what you are feeling is absolutely normal. It's not abnormal to not be excited, to feel guilty, or scared/anxious. Keep open communication with your husband. While he may be feeling the same (or not), he is someone you can lean on to get through what you're feeling.